How Much Does A Woman's Salary Matter To Men?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #11  October 24,2009, 1:10pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

OverAnalyzer wrote :
Anyone who tries to make you feel less than what you know you are is not deserving of a nanosecond of your time.

Attacking the partners who do not chose her is not helpful.

What steps can she take to counter this issue at present, and / or overcome it?
 
  Reply With Quote
zeekle is offline zeekle Post #12  October 24,2009, 1:12pm
zeekle's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2009

Nashville, TN

Posts: 64

See profile

Well I have had this conversation with my single friends and it seems pretty split.

I personally am comfortable with a low or high income but I don't want to start a family with someone who wouldn't be able to contribute at some point to keeping the family income going.

Other of my friends disagree at least to the point that they want someone who is trying to improve themselves and aren't looking for someone to "take care of them"

I guess there are some men out there that are afraid of a woman that makes a lot of money, but I don't know any that will admit it.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #13  October 24,2009, 1:14pm
Mangosteen's Avatar

sleeeepy

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2008

Southwest

Posts: 378

See profile

My point was that salary has the *potential* to increase, but that spending habits are often harder to change. My point was not that everyone gets an automatic raise each year, so if that's the way it came off, that wasn't the point.

To the OP - Being self aware is the first step to addressing any potential issues you think you have. I don't think salary alone defines you.
 
  Reply With Quote
brownize916 is offline brownize916 Post #14  October 24,2009, 1:29pm
brownize916's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 792

See profile

zeekle wrote :
I personally am comfortable with a low or high income but I don't want to start a family with someone who wouldn't be able to contribute at some point to keeping the family income going.

.
I am curious what this means to your friends? Did they feel that contributing to keeping the family income going can only be done by working full-time?

I ask because I have run into the opinion a lot lately that a woman (or a man) who stays home, or only works outside the home part-time is not a contributor or is somehow less entitled to make decisions about money. When I was first married I worked full-time and my husband went to school. After we had children I stayed home while they were small and he worked full-time. However, I never considered him as not contributing merely because he was not working and vice versa. While the one not working was not contributing monetarily, they were still contributing. In addition, all our financial decisions were 50/50 regardless of who the breadwinner was at the time.

This may or may not have been part of the conversation with your friends I was just curious since this had come up recently with my own friends.
 
  Reply With Quote
OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #15  October 24,2009, 1:32pm
OverAnalyzer's Avatar

is trying not to

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2009

Southern New Hampshire

Posts: 479

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Attacking the partners who do not chose her is not helpful.

What steps can she take to counter this issue at present, and / or overcome it?
I'm not attacking anyone, DL. Her partners have chosen her, not her money. If she is rejected because of it they aren't worth her time. Salary does not make a personality and a large salary does not guarantee financial stability.

Her question was about salary, not anxiety. If she asks, I'll respond, but from the little she's posted she seems to be surviving quite well, and could be quite content where she is. We'll see if she posts again.
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #16  October 24,2009, 1:37pm
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

LauraLindsey wrote :
In a lot of ways, I'm a good financial catch. I have perfect credit. I'm frugal, but not tight with money. I'm a skilled shopper and know how to buy everything at a discount. The only problem is that my salary is very low. I'm intelligent and I have a college education, but working has been an issue for me because of social anxiety. I'm comfortable one-on-one with people, but feel a lot of anxiety with a group of people in a work setting.

I feel really bad about not earning more and expect others will judge me negatively, too. Am I right? Or, is this not much of an issue to most men? In some ways, I have a lot to offer, but I'm afraid that I'll be rejected because of my income. What's your opinion?
Someone who is good with the money they have and has a good credit score are big pluses in my book. It equates to responsibility and living within their means.

The social anxiety issue would probably be more of an issue. Is it preventing you from keeping a job or are you on disability? Is it something that you are working on (therapy or meds)?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #17  October 24,2009, 2:03pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

brownize916 wrote :
I ask because I have run into the opinion a lot lately that a woman (or a man) who stays home, or only works outside the home part-time is not a contributor or is somehow less entitled to make decisions about money.

I’ll admit to this view, pretty much ... do you have a question about it?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #18  October 24,2009, 2:09pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

OverAnalyzer wrote :
Her partners have chosen her, not her money. If she is rejected because of it they aren't worth her time. Salary does not make a personality and a large salary does not guarantee financial stability.

Here is where I disagree: I cannot chose someone until I understand how she lives, how her tastes and desires comport with her ability to generate income, what her goals are for the future, and how realistic her plans for achieving them are.

Choosing a person is not a one-off event, it is a process which unfolds over time. Missing material information delays the choice.

Salary is extremely material to very major life decisions, such as quality of neighborhood, caliber of schools, resiliency against illness or other misfortune, and the whole gamut of quality of life concerns.
 
  Reply With Quote
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #19  October 24,2009, 2:10pm
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

I always thought the financial role was the other way around?

Women want men with a decent salary to provide for them; buy dinners; zales jewelry; a new Lexus and hallmark cards for mundane hollidays (Seriously...sweetest day, Roman Polanski, days of the week that end in "y"?)
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #20  October 24,2009, 3:53pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

If I met someone tonight or tomorrow, or at any time, and we connected, her paycheck would not matter to me at all, whether she made 10 times what I make (not likely) or 1/10 of what I make (also not likely). If I like her and want to be with her, green paper with pictures of dead presidents on it has nothing to do with who we are.

Now, having said that, there are some tangential issues:

- Is she in a job she hates that demands nothing of her and not trying to get into something that means more to her? That's not good.
- Is her low pay because she's in a job or career doing what she loves or what she feels is the right thing for her? That's a very good thing.
- Does she have problems living within her means, leading to issues like running up credit card debts? That's bad.
- Is one of her relationship requirements or expectations a man who makes enough to pay for her indulgences or to rid her of debt? That's bad.

It's not the size of her pay check. But I do care about related issues that effect what she's looking for or her emotional health.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Coming into town. | Dating | Matchmaker services for dating? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Size Does Matter? (Weight) Geek4God Dating 96 August 28,2010 8:57pm
How about a woman's size? saulgoode let's talk about sex 50 October 26,2009 10:59am
Man Steals Woman's Car on 1st Date! beentherehavetee Dating 19 August 30,2009 9:07pm
A matter of perspective... Emme Dating 16 July 21,2009 6:59pm
Lies about salary eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 78 July 18,2009 9:51am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:57pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0