Yes, you can be “too good to be true.”


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #1  October 23,2009, 3:46pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

Here we have an idea:

parakeetjordan wrote :
A book I recently read called it the "It's the Too-Good-To-Be-True Syndrome." "The Too-Good-To-Be-True-Syndrome is when a woman does not believe that the guy she is dating is really who he says he is. She believes that his great behavior, sexy charm, and perfect gentlemanly ways are short-lived stage acts that only an Academy Award-winning actor or the ultimate player could ever be capable of pulling off.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #2  October 23,2009, 4:01pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

Sorry DL - I don't agree that you do not have any baggage.

We know nothing about you except we know the one thing that defines you and drives you - your need for security.

Doesn't having one thing that you see everything through imply that you have "baggage" - for lack of a better word.

If there is something that so defines a person it can color their judgment.

Now, if you find your heart...yeah, then - you will be too good to be true!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 23,2009, 4:07pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.

***

It is in the OP, but to be clear again: the post is not suggesting I am what all women desire; it is suggesting that I present myself truthfully such that a woman can make an informed choice if I am suited to her desires. These are very different ideas.
Last edited by D_Lion; October 23,2009 at 4:09pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
bwr is offline bwr Post #4  October 23,2009, 4:12pm
bwr's Avatar

wants to become relevant again

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

AZ

Posts: 591

See profile

[quote=D_Lion;776886]Here we have an idea:
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  October 23,2009, 4:15pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

There are definitely those who are too good to be true, and there are also those who are also very true to who they are and truly are very good people. I don't think it's healthy to suspect that every great guy is too good to be true, because I know that if I did that I would have lost out on meeting some pretty amazing men. By the same token, it's pretty easy to spot an actor, because they really don't give that great of a performance.

There's just something about an honest man who truly has it together that always rings true to me. Thus far, I've only been wrong once, and I realized my mistake when he was pounding on my door at a ridiculous hour of the early morning!
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #6  October 23,2009, 4:16pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

Prove it.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

You have the burden of proof.
 
  Reply With Quote
LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #7  October 23,2009, 4:24pm

Unregistered

Joined: May 2008

SoCal

Posts: 7,705

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.

***

It is in the OP, but to be clear again: the post is not suggesting I am what all women desire; it is suggesting that I present myself truthfully such that a woman can make an informed choice if I am suited to her desires. These are very different ideas.
I see it as baggage when someone can not see objectively on an issue. That is baggage. Granted, in dating, that usually is holding the sins of others against your current partner. But it could also be because we see things through only one lens (IE: security).
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  October 23,2009, 4:27pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

Can you cite an example of where I am not objective?

Though this is a side issue to the point of the OP.
 
  Reply With Quote
peg099 is offline peg099 Post #9  October 23,2009, 4:34pm
peg099's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Sep 2008

Canada

Posts: 12,516

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.
That's a very limited definition of baggage and its cause.

Baggage can stem from all sorts of past experiences, not just an experience with a previous partner.

I would say baggage is better defined as a limiting 'filter' through which we view the world (including relationships) that is the result of some past pain that hasn't been fully processed.

I don't know you well enough to say with any great degree of accuracy whether your 'filter' is the result of unresolved pain from the past. But from where most of us sit, it is a filter, and it does appear to be limiting; you seem to deny or block out an important aspect of what makes human beings human - their emotion. We are not just walking heads. To live that way is to deny an important part of who you are.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  October 23,2009, 4:42pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

See, now I see one’s individual degree of emotional expressiveness a matter of an attribute, which is neither good nor bad. It is simply a characteristic which one should make sure is compatible in a partner.

You are free to view it as a bad attribute (like some view overweight, has a child, etc), but that is not a universally-held view. Some women might see it as stability and dependability, and screen for it. Personal taste.

I would not claim all people should accept me, just that I do not spring hidden dangers on my partner.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« For D_Lion: Spider Dating | Dating | Ever Rethink your "Type"? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Good Ol Girls Clubs Seneca "Red Flag" Central 8 September 22,2009 11:30am
In with the Good ....out with the bad..... hogrally AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 15 August 26,2009 3:06pm
Anything current or upcoming that's good to see on a date? bravethestorm Dating 17 August 17,2009 3:00pm
Looking Good... celeste21 Christian Singles 1 August 3,2009 7:21pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:22am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0