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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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Here we have an idea:

parakeetjordan wrote :
A book I recently read called it the "It's the Too-Good-To-Be-True Syndrome." "The Too-Good-To-Be-True-Syndrome is when a woman does not believe that the guy she is dating is really who he says he is. She believes that his great behavior, sexy charm, and perfect gentlemanly ways are short-lived stage acts that only an Academy Award-winning actor or the ultimate player could ever be capable of pulling off.


Now, speaking as someone without baggage or blemishes in my past, who is forthright and direct with my partners, I can prove this premise false (at least, by anecdotal example.)

Assuming my objective attributes are satisfactory to a woman – and for sure they will often not be – there is not with me the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, hiding.

I am one, and where there is one there must be others.

“Too good to be true” is a bad attitude to have.
- October 23rd, 2009, 04:46 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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Sorry DL - I don't agree that you do not have any baggage.

We know nothing about you except we know the one thing that defines you and drives you - your need for security.

Doesn't having one thing that you see everything through imply that you have "baggage" - for lack of a better word.

If there is something that so defines a person it can color their judgment.

Now, if you find your heart...yeah, then - you will be too good to be true!
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:01 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.

***

It is in the OP, but to be clear again: the post is not suggesting I am what all women desire; it is suggesting that I present myself truthfully such that a woman can make an informed choice if I am suited to her desires. These are very different ideas.
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- October 23rd, 2009, 05:07 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Here we have an idea:



Now, speaking as someone without baggage or blemishes in my past, who is forthright and direct with my partners, I can prove this premise false (at least, by anecdotal example.)

Assuming my objective attributes are satisfactory to a woman – and for sure they will often not be – there is not with me the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde, hiding.

I am one, and where there is one there must be others.

“Too good to be true” is a bad attitude to have.
This is your baggage.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:12 pm
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There are definitely those who are too good to be true, and there are also those who are also very true to who they are and truly are very good people. I don't think it's healthy to suspect that every great guy is too good to be true, because I know that if I did that I would have lost out on meeting some pretty amazing men. By the same token, it's pretty easy to spot an actor, because they really don't give that great of a performance.

There's just something about an honest man who truly has it together that always rings true to me. Thus far, I've only been wrong once, and I realized my mistake when he was pounding on my door at a ridiculous hour of the early morning!
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:15 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Prove it.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

You have the burden of proof.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:16 pm
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.

***

It is in the OP, but to be clear again: the post is not suggesting I am what all women desire; it is suggesting that I present myself truthfully such that a woman can make an informed choice if I am suited to her desires. These are very different ideas.
I see it as baggage when someone can not see objectively on an issue. That is baggage. Granted, in dating, that usually is holding the sins of others against your current partner. But it could also be because we see things through only one lens (IE: security).
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:24 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Can you cite an example of where I am not objective?

Though this is a side issue to the point of the OP.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:27 pm
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D_Lion wrote :
I do not consider matters of personal taste “baggage.”

I see it as baggage when you make a factually-incorrect presumption about a current partner, due to an attribute of the current partner which mimics one or more past partners, but does not in fact support the presumption.
That's a very limited definition of baggage and its cause.

Baggage can stem from all sorts of past experiences, not just an experience with a previous partner.

I would say baggage is better defined as a limiting 'filter' through which we view the world (including relationships) that is the result of some past pain that hasn't been fully processed.

I don't know you well enough to say with any great degree of accuracy whether your 'filter' is the result of unresolved pain from the past. But from where most of us sit, it is a filter, and it does appear to be limiting; you seem to deny or block out an important aspect of what makes human beings human - their emotion. We are not just walking heads. To live that way is to deny an important part of who you are.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:34 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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See, now I see one’s individual degree of emotional expressiveness a matter of an attribute, which is neither good nor bad. It is simply a characteristic which one should make sure is compatible in a partner.

You are free to view it as a bad attribute (like some view overweight, has a child, etc), but that is not a universally-held view. Some women might see it as stability and dependability, and screen for it. Personal taste.

I would not claim all people should accept me, just that I do not spring hidden dangers on my partner.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:42 pm
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