Yes, you can be “too good to be true.”


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melman is offline melman Post #241  October 26,2009, 10:49pm
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bwr wrote :
I have a good life long friend who has more past marriage and baggage problems that I can count on several hands, and he has no job and is not particularly attractive, but he gets date after date with the hottest women, and all the women he meets line up and want to marry him. He has never been successful in school or his career, but he has always got the women since he was a yound teen, and he has lots and lots of experience with women. I know lots of men who are a lot more attractive and financially successful than him, and they cannot get a date. And they always are asking me how my friend does it.

I am another one of those people who was focused on good grades, being successful in sports, and being successful in my career. I never found or made the time to socialize or date women when I was younger, and I think I am paying for it now. I actually in a way envy the so called "loser men" who get all the women. I have very little material baggage, but I think my lack of experience with women from my younger years is hurting me.
OK, are you done with the pity party now? Good.

Now really ask yourself - would you really trade all the success in your life for the failed marriages and baggage that your friend has? Would you really - really - want any of the women you claim he hooks up with? Would you want a woman who's drawn to a guy with so much trouble?
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #242  October 26,2009, 11:52pm
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people are never who they say they are. people don't know squat.

i'll tell my story again: my boyfriend originally told me he likes nature. reality: his idea of nature was a manicured lawn, a folding chair, and a cooler by his side. not an ounce of nature in sight. we went on a walk and he made a sour face the whole time because it was so arduous for him trying to avoid the dirt on a dirt path.
 
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Can_I_just_be_Jo is offline Can_I_just_be_Jo Post #243  October 27,2009, 11:14am

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lil_lamb wrote :
people are never who they say they are. people don't know squat.

i'll tell my story again: my boyfriend originally told me he likes nature. reality: his idea of nature was a manicured lawn, a folding chair, and a cooler by his side. not an ounce of nature in sight. we went on a walk and he made a sour face the whole time because it was so arduous for him trying to avoid the dirt on a dirt path.
He may have truly believed that is nature. I am not seeing it but who knows.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #244  October 27,2009, 1:50pm
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trixie1868 wrote :
No, it's the big long one on page 20, talks about why people have screens in terms of behavourist theory. Interesting to me anyway.
Yes, I read through that post several times. I think his theory has merit, our brains are clearly very much like sponges at an early age ... look at how quickly small children learn to speak for example, and how difficult it is for many of us as adults to learn a new language.

I think some screens are formed from preferences and some from baggage.

I think D has both, but he fully believes his screens are all formed from preferences and ergo, has no baggage.
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #245  October 27,2009, 1:59pm
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I wonder if the baggage is made of supple leather ....
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #246  October 27,2009, 2:26pm
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clearlyoblique wrote :
I wonder if the baggage is made of supple leather ....
I prefer Louis Vuitton
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #247  October 27,2009, 3:02pm
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clearlyoblique wrote :
I wonder if the baggage is made of supple leather ....

From the finest, bug-bite-free, virgin cows ...

If I was in the market, which I isn't!
 
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WYskywatcher is offline WYskywatcher Post #248  October 27,2009, 3:10pm
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got her profile back! Thank you tech guy! :-)

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bwr wrote :
Thats the one! Thanks. I was always trying to remember what the name of that movie was.
Amazing what you can learn on eHA.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #249  October 27,2009, 3:16pm
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neardc wrote :
Somehow, every time you say that, this is what I see :


I may be wise beyind my years, but that baggage must belong to Al Capone!

I say I've none! Can't prove otherwise!
 
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redevil999 is offline redevil999 Post #250  October 27,2009, 3:24pm
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I don't know that I can get through this entire thread, but DL, do you not agree you have baggage when it comes to women you presume to have a sense of entitlement?

In fact I believe you've stated more than once your presumption comes from prior experiences with past partners.

Many, many people do not "see" their own baggage.
 
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