Yes, you can be “too good to be true.”


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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #11  October 23,2009, 3:52pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Can you cite an example of where I am not objective?

Though this is a side issue to the point of the OP.
I think just the fact that I know nothing about you except this one thing is proof enough. The only time I see real passion or something close to a strident post from you is when it is about something that touches on this issue.

And I don't think it really is a side issue...I think it is part of this discussion.

Can someone be truly objective and honest when everything they experience is seen through one filter?

I think that is a real interesting question. I dunno if it is possible, but I do believe you are probably the only person I know that could truly accomplish it if it was possible.

***

And as for you, DL in regards to truthfulness about who you are and what you will give and accept - there is no doubt in my mind that you are absolutely exactly what you say. It is something that I really admire about you - you are always honorable to me because you are always honest and true.
Last edited by LizziePooh; October 23,2009 at 4:02pm.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #12  October 23,2009, 4:02pm
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D_Lion wrote :
See, now I see one’s individual degree of emotional expressiveness a matter of an attribute, which is neither good nor bad. It is simply a characteristic which one should make sure is compatible in a partner.
To some degree, yes. But usually when there is such a pronounced lack of emotion it is a sign of great unresolved pain. The rational mind's insistence that this is not problematic is generally a defense mechanism.

I would suspect that a great many of the women who you deem to have baggage would themselves tell you it's just the way they are, and that it's not baggage. The ones who would admit to baggage are simply more self-aware.


wrote :
You are free to view it as a bad attribute (like some view overweight, has a child, etc), but that is not a universally-held view. Some women might see it as stability and dependability, and screen for it. Personal taste.

There is a big difference between stability and dependability on one hand, and complete lack of emotion on the other. Like I said, I can't say with accuracy where your inability to connect emotionally stems from - but to me it is just as big a flag of baggage as is someone who is spewing emotion all over the place and not capable of any rationality.

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I would not claim all people should accept me, just that I do not spring hidden dangers on my partner.
Being forthright is not the same as having no baggage. I know plenty of people who have all sorts of issues who make no attempt to hide them. Or who simply aren't aware enough of their issues to even want to hide them.
Last edited by peg099; October 23,2009 at 4:08pm.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #13  October 23,2009, 4:05pm

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D_Lion wrote :
See, now I see one’s individual degree of emotional expressiveness a matter of an attribute, which is neither good nor bad. It is simply a characteristic which one should make sure is compatible in a partner.

You are free to view it as a bad attribute (like some view overweight, has a child, etc), but that is not a universally-held view. Some women might see it as stability and dependability, and screen for it. Personal taste.

I would not claim all people should accept me, just that I do not spring hidden dangers on my partner.
Now the following is really off-topic but do you think there women out there like that DL? I hope there are for your sake but I don't think I have ever run across one. Of course, I don't think I have ever run across someone like you either.

And here, I thought dating was hard for me.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #14  October 23,2009, 4:06pm
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I think you have selective recollection. I can think of quite a few, diverse topics I’ve posted often on:

· A belief that gender should not define a role in life, or in dating.
· Refutation of any entitlement mentality.
· A right to any screening criteria one wishes.
· The importance of having data to support one’s beliefs.
· A value of individual authority (e.g., not beholden to family, church, etc.)

Then, there are all the posts I make to be funny. And, I think I readily accept fun poked back at me.
 
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legend29 is online now legend29 Post #15  October 23,2009, 4:12pm
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is upbeat and happy despite the smell of mendacity in the warm spring air!...:)

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D_Lion wrote :
I think you have selective recollection. I can think of quite a few, diverse topics I’ve posted often on:

· A belief that gender should not define a role in life, or in dating.
· Refutation of any entitlement mentality.
· A right to any screening criteria one wishes.
· The importance of having data to support one’s beliefs.
· A value of individual authority (e.g., not beholden to family, church, etc.)

Then, there are all the posts I make to be funny. And, I think I readily accept fun poked back at me.
Huh?...it would be nice if you spoke in normal 'non-statistical' language sometmes .....

So...in real language, what do you really think?

(but as a researcher, who reads stats all the time ....whattaIknow?????)
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #16  October 23,2009, 4:12pm
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peg099 wrote :
I would suspect that a great many of the women who you deem to have baggage would tell you it's just the way they are, and not the result of some past experience. The ones who would admit to baggage are simply more self-aware.

Perhaps - people don't like admitting to faults.

Though, I gave a narrow definition of baggage - having at its core the incorrect presumption. I do not classify personal attributes like having a child, living with a parent, driving a cheap car, to be baggage (though that is a common use of the term.)

Very many people on this service make all kinds of unvalidated assumptions - "he would have called if he was interested in you; he left because you had sex too soon," etc - these are errors of personal opinion masquerading as fact which I think many people make and I strive to avoid.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #17  October 23,2009, 4:13pm

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D_Lion wrote :
I think you have selective recollection. I can think of quite a few, diverse topics I’ve posted often on:

· A belief that gender should not define a role in life, or in dating.
· Refutation of any entitlement mentality.
· A right to any screening criteria one wishes.
· The importance of having data to support one’s beliefs.
· A value of individual authority (e.g., not beholden to family, church, etc.)

Then, there are all the posts I make to be funny. And, I think I readily accept fun poked back at me.
Ahhh but doesn't all of those come back to the same filter??

***

And yes, I love that you let me poke you. It is one of my favorite things to do. So thanks for being so gracious about it. I do truly appreciate it!!
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #18  October 23,2009, 4:14pm

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legend29 wrote :
Huh?...it would be nice if you spoke in normal 'non-statistical' language sometmes .....

So...in real language, what do you really think?

(but as a researcher, who reads stats all the time ....whattaIknow?????)
lol! I think I learned to read Frog. Do you think I can put that on my resume?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #19  October 23,2009, 4:22pm
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LizziePooh wrote :
Now the following is really off-topic but do you think there women out there like that DL?

I admit that my target women are extremely rare.

Though, I am rarely dumped once I get past a first date, so I must have an adequate combination of traits for the partners I have found.

I may not offer much of what many women want, but I suspect that I possess very little of what they fear.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #20  October 23,2009, 4:23pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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D_Lion wrote :
Prove it.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

You have the burden of proof.
The purpose of this thread is for people to try to 'prove' you're not too good to be true?
 
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