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clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
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clearlyoblique is smoking crayola

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Nurturer,
There's nothing like waking up to a man who makes an extra special breakfast because he knows she has a presentation that day.

And then when she is royally unhappy and just wants time to process her unhappiness ... so that he only gets the 25% of the unhappiness ... which is all he deserves since the person that rammed their cart into the door of her car that morning … isn't him … and the fact that her least favorite client had to see her that day to discuss … oh, I don't know, how she felt CO didn't understand her need for color … isn't his fault … or that she had to work over 10 hours that day just to appease the witch … and then come home to find that the harry beast has eaten the last bagel. Just eaten it. Like that was an OK thing for him to do. Never mind that, to add insult to injury, he actually left the empty bag with crumbs all over the counter.

So she just needed down time with StarTrek … to lower her level of beach to 25% you ate my bagel beach.

Then she realizes that white stuff is hitting her. Hey. Beast ate her bagel. She picks some off her chest. She realizes it is not covered in buttered slime like the beast likes. It is pure and puffy like she likes it. She eats some off her head. Beast has positioned himself at the end of the sofa. Death stare. Beast lives. Popcorn looks good. She crosses arms. Spock would understand. She eats some more off the pillow beside her.

Beast is kinda grinning. Unforgivable. She lunges at harry beast. “Give me that popcorn, you evil bagel eating beast!” Beast throws the bowl down and wrestles with her. “You are eeeeeevil! I was so tired and you ate everythiiiiiiing!”

Harry beast has gotten hold and is now trying to balance a piece of fluffy white popcorn on her nose. “arrrrrgh!” Harry beast smiles (he understands pirate talk) and says he is sorry. He didn't realize the significance of bagel eating. Oh. BTW, where is that banana that he usually eats at the gym? Ooops. CO thinks of the lone banana throttling and the evil neener dance she did over the trash can. “I'm sorry evil beast. I killed your banana. I've had a bad day and … sorry, baby”. Harry beast eats some popcorn off her chest without using his hands. “Is there some sexual significance to this banana/bagel thing that I need to know about?” She tries to speak pirate … but the pillows are falling off the sofa … and harry beast smells good ...

*I define nurturing as … maybe … balancing, lightening, encouraging. There are many ways to do it. I've learned to ask for what I need. But it's a wonderful thing when someone knows you and knows how to nurture you.*
Last edited by clearlyoblique; October 25th, 2009 at 09:57 pm. Reason: disturbing formatting, BAD whose usage. How did I miss that? ICK!
- October 24th, 2009, 12:10 pm
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clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
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Great. All my posts are in moderation. *sigh*
- October 24th, 2009, 12:11 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
i was going to suggest getting a cat. mine takes care of yucky bugs and the occasional mouse that tries to get in the house.
Yes....librarybabe, there are alternatives to killing mice with your bare hands.
- October 24th, 2009, 12:21 pm
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pamcam pamcam is offline
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Interesting topic.

Each of us needs and wants different things, unconsciously, subconsciously, and consciously. It comes down to honoring our own and another's life experiences, knowing who we are, and communicating our inner most selves. It took much unearthing for me to discover that what I wanted was a protector, even as I can't say I 'need' one now, yet my inner sensing is I want one.

I was brutally beaten for days at a time...over a decade...for wanting...and for being...by my mother; for normal life things, such as wanting to go to prom, or college, whatever it was, and each time, as soon as my father made eye contact w/ me, he walked away...and left me. In order to survive, I 'had' to deny my authentic self and my real needs and feelings...and as much as I wanted him, this so-called 'masculine protector' to step up to the plate, intervene, and prevent her from beating me, he did not and I did not receive what I most needed.

So for me, 'wanting and desiring' a protector will I think 'always' be w/ me, on a cellular level. It takes being and living in relationship and many experiences to change our experiencing of.
So, for example, whenever as a kid and teenager and young adult, whenever I felt excited about something, some life event such as going to prom, I was severely punished, beaten, and restricted, limited and denied. So, later, I came to feel wrong and afraid to feel excited...b/c that was my many years experience...of. So now, w/ men, and particularly in an intimate relationship, I reveal how I feel excited about whatever it is, and if is he willing and receptive, he mirrors back to me my excitement, and in each new experience I am given an opportunity to feel safe, to reframe, and enjoy feeling excited. Something that simple can be deeply complex.
- October 24th, 2009, 12:22 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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librarybabe wrote :
What do you want to be protected from? ...
What do you want provided to you? ...
How do you want to be nurtured?...
What work makes a home for you?...
Ok....so you wrote how you like to receive these things. How about what you expect go give in a relationship....and if or how this is different than what you want from a man.
- October 24th, 2009, 12:23 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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scarlet13 wrote :
i was going to suggest getting a cat. mine takes care of yucky bugs and the occasional mouse that tries to get in the house.
Really? Mine bring them in the house alive and then let them go. I often come home to tell tale patches of blood on the floor tiles.
- October 24th, 2009, 03:12 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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clearlyoblique wrote :
Nurturer,
There's nothing like waking up to a man whose makes an extra special breakfast because he knows she has a presentation that day.
And then when she is royally unhappy and just wants time to process her unhappiness ... so that he only gets the 25% of the unhappiness ... which is all he deserves since the person that rammed their cart into the door of her car that morning … isn't him … and the fact that her least favorite client had to see her that day to discuss … oh, I don't know, how she felt CO didn't understand her need for color … isn't his fault … or that she had to work over 10 hours that day just to appease the witch … and then come home to find that the harry beast has eaten the last bagel. Just eaten it. Like that was an OK thing for him to do. Never mind that, to add insult to injury, he actually left the empty bag with crumbs all over the counter. So she just needed down time with StarTrek … to lower her level of beach to 25% you ate my bagel beach. Then she realizes that white stuff is hitting her. Hey. Beast ate her bagel. She picks some off her chest. She realizes it is not covered in buttered slime like the beast likes. It is pure and puffy like she likes it. She eats some off her head. Beast has positioned himself at the end of the sofa. Death stare. Beast lives. Popcorn looks good. She crosses arms. Spock would understand. She eats some more off the pillow beside her. Beast is kinda grinning. Unforgivable. She lunges at harry beast. “Give me that popcorn, you evil bagel eating beast!” Beast throws the bowl down and wrestles with her. “You are eeeeeevil! I was so tired and you ate everythiiiiiiing!” Harry beast has gotten hold and is now trying to balance a piece of fluffy white popcorn on her nose. “arrrrrgh!” Harry beast smiles (he understands pirate talk) and says he is sorry. He didn't realize the significance of bagel eating. Oh. BTW, where is that banana that he usually eats at the gym? Ooops. CO thinks of the lone banana throttling and the evil neener dance she did over the trash can. “I'm sorry evil beast. I killed your banana. I've had a bad day and … sorry, baby”. Harry beast eats some popcorn off her chest without using his hands. “Is there some sexual significance to this banana/bagel thing that I need to know about?” She tries to speak pirate … but the pillows are falling off the sofa … and harry beast smells good ...

I define nurturing as … maybe … balancing, lightening, encouraging. There are many ways to do it. I've learned to ask for what I need. But it's a wonderful thing when someone knows you and knows how to nurture you.
QFB
Quoted for brilliance.
- October 24th, 2009, 03:53 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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clearlyoblique wrote :
Protector
clearlyoblique wrote :
Provider
clearlyoblique wrote :
Homemaker
clearlyoblique wrote :
Nurturer

What is the significance to these colors?
- October 24th, 2009, 03:57 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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pamcam wrote :
So for me, 'wanting and desiring' a protector will I think 'always' be w/ me, on a cellular level. It takes being and living in relationship and many experiences to change our experiencing of.
So, for example, whenever as a kid and teenager and young adult, whenever I felt excited about something, some life event such as going to prom, I was severely punished, beaten, and restricted, limited and denied. So, later, I came to feel wrong and afraid to feel excited...b/c that was my many years experience...of. So now, w/ men, and particularly in an intimate relationship, I reveal how I feel excited about whatever it is, and if is he willing and receptive, he mirrors back to me my excitement, and in each new experience I am given an opportunity to feel safe, to reframe, and enjoy feeling excited. Something that simple can be deeply complex.
I think that goes to show how protecting each other is physical AND emotional. Making you feel safe in your excitement is protecting you from your past and allowing you to get started on a different path.

Sorry to hear all of that happened.
- October 24th, 2009, 04:20 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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Some women will put this kind of thing right out there in a profile. Like a match that recently came to my attention:

"People don't notice my tender heart and that underneath this unassuming exterior is a romantic, gentle woman that wishes to be loved, cared for, protected, and appreciated."
- October 24th, 2009, 05:07 pm
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