Protector, Provider, Nurturer, Homemaker


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VictoriaJ is offline VictoriaJ Post #61  October 23,2009, 11:42pm
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is wondering what to do

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D_Lion wrote :
When I read “I’m looking for a provider” in a women’s profile, I understand it to mean she is looking to date, and probably then live, in whole or in part, on a man’s income.
I'm with D_Lion on this one. When I hear "provider," I think that means in financial terms, whether male or female.
Last edited by VictoriaJ; October 23,2009 at 11:43pm. Reason: Believe it or not, D, I have been the provider/sugar mama for a guy!
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #62  October 24,2009, 1:29am
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What do you want to be protected from? Myself. I am a klutz. If it is there to walk into, fall down, trip over etc; I will meet it!

What do you want provided to you? Respect, accountability, love and direction.

How do you want to be nurtured? By being encouraged to think for myself. He listens.

What work makes a home for you? A home is a place easy to keep clean, where I can relax and feel comfortable. Silence too at times.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #63  October 24,2009, 7:24am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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VictoriaJ wrote :
Ohhh! So even if the reality is that I'm quite safe, I might want to feel protected by my partner? Or that he could protect me?

I dunno. I think the closest I get to this is falling for guys who keep me warm!
People want and are interested in different things. I think that shows the importance of compatibility.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #64  October 24,2009, 7:35am
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Meri, nice post.

And JayJay had a lot of good ones in this thread.
 
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VictoriaJ is offline VictoriaJ Post #65  October 24,2009, 9:06am
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is wondering what to do

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VictoriaJ wrote :
Ohhh! So even if the reality is that I'm quite safe, I might want to feel protected by my partner? Or that he could protect me?

I dunno. I think the closest I get to this is falling for guys who keep me warm!
jayjay wrote :
People want and are interested in different things. I think that shows the importance of compatibility.
Definitely!

I'm exploring this issue because so many women have said they want a "protector," I wonder if I'm in denial and, unconsciously, I want one, too. Hmmmmm....
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #66  October 24,2009, 9:32am
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What do you want to be protected from? Mice. Seriously. Once you have gone home to find one dancing and prancing about in every room, running back and forth across your curtains and had one run up your leg in one horrific night,you don't want to ever repeat the experience. It was the only thing that ever sent me running home to mommy & daddy. Even though I have learned to control the mouse situation myself, I would love to forfeit my mouse killing duties to a nice strong guy. Forget the dragons, just slay the mice please.

What do you want provided to you? Emotional support. I don't think I ever gave this idea any thought as something I'm looking for in a guy into coming reading these boards. I mean, yes, having a sugar daddy to put me through school so I could have quit my job & gone full-time may have been nice, but I managed fine on my own. I'm used to providing for myself. But I don't think I can deal with work without some feed back and comfort on some days.

I'm not sure whether I would file this under providing emotional support or being my protector, but a recent problem at work made me think about what I expect from men. I had a male coworker inform me at closing that a library patron was servicing himself at one of the public computers while viewing porn (and made some lovely hand gestures to illustrate his point). When I pointed out this was indecent exposure in a public place and he should call the campus police he said he was "f-in out of here" and left me to deal with the situation. I was really shocked that he left me with the responsibility of dealing with an embarrassing situation and making sure that this little prevert had exited the building. Everything about my coworker's actions in the past had convinced me that he was a bully, and now I realized he was a coward, too. I realized that of all the men I have known, even guys who were physically small and not very bold, none would have left me alone to deal with that. So... I don't know whether that constitutes bravery or just having character. But that is what I want in a guy when I'm in an uncomfortable or upsetting situation. Someone who makes me feel like they are there for me.

How do you want to be nurtured?
Spending time with me and listening, being interested in my physical, spiritual and emotional wellbeing. And as I tend to feel sorry for myself when I have the common cold, I really like it when someone else goes to the grocery store and makes me something warm and comforting to eat, etc.

What work makes a home for you?
Well, both my grandmothers were homemakers and perfectionists, but one did it while working and one did not. The first one also managed to make her place feel homey and welcoming and there always seemed to be something to eat even for a drop in visitor. The second makes her place feel like a showplace where I've never been comfortable. I guess I just think a place should be tidy enough that people feel comfortable there and can relax there. The people in life should be more important that the things and house. I want to be able to replicate that kind of atmosphere in my home, but it always seemed to be a group effort at my homey grandmother's house, not just the work of one-slave-like woman.
 
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Benevolence32 is offline Benevolence32 Post #67  October 24,2009, 9:46am
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scarlet13 wrote :
I saw a post somewhere about a woman who is 5'10" who wants a guy taller than her so she feels small and protected.

protected from who? giants?

sigh. I respect that women want to feel protected and safe, so i don't want to offend anyone's choices but personally i think that it's a scary way to live.

*ducks flames
I'd have to agree there. While I'll admit I've always wanted to wrestle a sabretooth tiger as it attempts to pounce on a woman I'm having a lot of trouble finding one that isn't already fossilized
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #68  October 24,2009, 9:46am

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I'm afraid of mice also. I'm not a good protector.
 
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librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #69  October 24,2009, 9:58am
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PY_2 wrote :
I'm afraid of mice also. I'm not a good protector.
Oh well. We could always do what I did the one time. How are you at catching stray cats? If you are good at that then we could keep throwing it at the mouse till it gets the picture & kills the mouse for us, while we eat our lunch while standing on chairs. Sounds romantic, doesn't it?
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #70  October 24,2009, 10:03am
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i was going to suggest getting a cat. mine takes care of yucky bugs and the occasional mouse that tries to get in the house.
 
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