I ask the gender role question of all my eH matches (the VERY few I get). In the past when this topic came up, specifically focused on that question, many people said when they get that question, they figure the asker wants traditional gender roles. I ask it to screen out women who think only in those roles.

I'm still exhausted from starting and writing all the software for my IT business. It took about 8 years and 18 months later I still feel a certain exhaustion whenever I have to look at a terminal screen instead of a browser or word processor. But I did it for a reason: I wanted freedom. I wanted to spend the rest of my life being able to write my own scripts and producing them, even if it's only direct to DVD.

I also did it for another big reason: I still want kids (yeah, too old, I know -- don't go there) and when I have kids, I do not want to be that man that comes home from work just before supper and is too tired to interact with the rest of the family. I want to go to their school plays and see their soccer games and be a part of their lives. Now I spend my days writing, walking, bicycling, and ballroom dancing. It would be much easier for me to adapt my schedule to get the kids to school, come home and write, then pick them up or be at the bus stop when they get home, than it would be for a woman.

I don't think that a woman that expects traditional gender roles would do well in a relationship with me. My income, until the film production makes a profit, is passive and most of my work is at home. I'm not going to be anywhere near the traditional "breadwinner," but that's because I've worked hard to put myself in a position beyond that kind of environment.

On the other end, if I meed someone who thinks my situation and passive income is just a reason to not have to work, and that it means she can just not worry about a job or putting in effort into making sure we have the resources a household needs, then I'm not going to be interested in her.

When I was a teacher, it was not unusual to be turned down by women who said teachers didn't make enough money or weren't on a good, responsible career track, that I learned to avoid women that care more about a man's career or income than the man himself.