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SassySue SassySue is offline
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I would hope that a man could open up to me about sensitive topics at this stage in the game and not parade around being a he-man and therefore creating a clinging vine in me. I hear "boys will by boys" and that excuses them from a lot of bad bahavior. I'm all for men being men and women being women but we do cross on occasion and the roles get blurred or blended. What I want to know is this: do men get as many offers for books titled, "What Women Really Want From a Man" or "What Women Really Think of You." or "Why She Never Called You Back." I'm pretty tired of all the propoganda regarding men and their behavior. If he doesn't call you back, he's a jerk. If he wants you just for sex, he's a real jerk. If he doesn't care what women want - and we're pretty up front with what we want - then he's more than a jerk. I'm tired of all the literature on men and what makes them tick. We do. We make men tick.
- October 22nd, 2009, 05:53 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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SassySue wrote :
If he doesn't care what women want - and we're pretty up front with what we want - then he's more than a jerk. I'm tired of all the literature on men and what makes them tick. We do. We make men tick.
Yeah...to me the 'what do men want' type books seem like a waste....but many women seem to want to 'figure things out', rather than just deal with men based on their behavior (if he doesn't call....it doesn't really matter why).

Regarding women being an 'open book'....so many women like to play the 'I'm not going to tell you want I want...you have to guess' game that it's become a cliche.
- October 22nd, 2009, 06:08 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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jayjay wrote :
Yeah...to me the 'what do men want' type books seem like a waste....but many women seem to want to 'figure things out', rather than just deal with men based on their behavior (if he doesn't call....it doesn't really matter why).

Regarding women being an 'open book'....so many women like to play the 'I'm not going to tell you want I want...you have to guess' game that it's become a cliche.
I'm not going to tell you want I want, jayjay, because I just don't know myself yet.

lol
- October 22nd, 2009, 06:10 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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nightling wrote :
I'm not going to tell you want I want, jayjay, because I just don't know myself yet.

lol
Hey....I can't knock that. It's honest....and that's always the best place to start from in a relationship.
- October 22nd, 2009, 06:11 pm
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TracyBluebird TracyBluebird is offline
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jayjay wrote :
I don't mean to imply....and don't think others who have posted mean to imply....that we want to make someone else change themselves to be what we're looking for or to tell them what they 'should' or 'ought' to be like. I'd guess that most of us are simply looking for someone who is a fit for our own particular personalities and desires.
I don't think anyone here was saying they wanted someone to change either. It's not just me, but my friends even acknowledge, I am "different." I was my Dad's girl all through my teens, and he just made me feel like I could do anything. I was about 4 years younger than my brother, so when he was off to college, Dad was having me driving around in trucks and working on construction sites! He also encouraged me to get my motorcycle license, because I used to be very afraid of bikes. He just had that "you can do it" attitude about everything with me, and I did it!

I am actually pretty lucky I am an athletic person at 46, so I can do things with my son (my daughter does not care about sports at all ) like triathlons and baseball.

But that being said, I am not manly, just because I do some things men do. One of my very favorite things to do is just nestle up under a man's arm and feel safe and loved and cherished, and I love to feel pretty and also love it when he notices.

It all comes down to the almost cliche statement "Accept me for who I am" and in my case, that particularly applies to gender specific areas. I guess the issue is I have come across a lot of men who feel threatened by some of my skills and talents. I know not all men are that way, because my Dad and my brother aren't! Also, some of my friend's husbands think I am pretty neat! Unfortunately, all these guys are taken!
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:03 pm
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TracyBluebird TracyBluebird is offline
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jayjay wrote :
Regarding women being an 'open book'....so many women like to play the 'I'm not going to tell you want I want...you have to guess' game that it's become a cliche.
What I see women do is garbage like "well if you don't know, I am not going to tell you." What a bunch of carp. If he doesn't know, you need to tell him!
Last edited by TracyBluebird; October 23rd, 2009 at 10:22 pm. Reason: typo
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:06 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

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TracyBluebird wrote :
I don't think anyone here was saying they wanted someone to change either. It's not just me, but my friends even acknowledge, I am "different." I was my Dad's girl all through my teens, and he just made me feel like I could do anything. I was about 4 years younger than my brother, so when he was off to college, Dad was having me driving around in trucks and working on construction sites! He also encouraged me to get my motorcycle license, because I used to be very afraid of bikes. He just had that "you can do it" attitude about everything with me, and I did it!

I am actually pretty lucky I am an athletic person at 46, so I can do things with my son (my daughter does not care about sports at all ) like triathlons and baseball.

But that being said, I am not manly, just because I do some things men do. One of my very favorite things to do is just nestle up under a man's arm and feel safe and loved and cherished, and I love to feel pretty and also love it when he notices.

It all comes down to the almost cliche statement "Accept me for who I am" and in my case, that particularly applies to gender specific areas. I guess the issue is I have come across a lot of men who feel threatened by some of my skills and talents. I know not all men are that way, because my Dad and my brother aren't! Also, some of my friend's husbands think I am pretty neat! Unfortunately, all these guys are taken!
Me too!

I think my dad wanted another boy, but he got Me instead! Growing up, I never had anyone tell me "Girls don't do that" or "Tomboys don't look like that", or expect me to fit into any kind of stereotype. But I'm very much a woman and really do like that feeling of being swallowed up in a man's arms.

I also have the issue of men being intimidated by my job. The job is downright frightening sometimes, and it's usually a pretty real threat. But knowing I have to be tough on a daily basis can make some men feel they don't measure up. Most don't want a girlfriend that appears tougher than they are.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:31 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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chawks64 wrote :
Me too!

I think my dad wanted another boy, but he got Me instead! Growing up, I never had anyone tell me "Girls don't do that" or "Tomboys don't look like that", or expect me to fit into any kind of stereotype. But I'm very much a woman and really do like that feeling of being swallowed up in a man's arms.

I also have the issue of men being intimidated by my job. The job is downright frightening sometimes, and it's usually a pretty real threat. But knowing I have to be tough on a daily basis can make some men feel they don't measure up. Most don't want a girlfriend that appears tougher than they are.
My dad always told me I could do or be anything I wanted, too Chawks. I really love him for that.

Society was sometimes not so accepting of that attitude though, particularly when I was growing up. Girls don't play cowboys and indians, girls don't play chess, girls can't be astronauts ... I've got a whole long list of things I was told girls can't do by various people growing up.

I don't think I even liked being a girl for the first 30 years or so of my life starting with when they put me in one of those ridiculous little white dresses and wouldn't let me run around and play bc it would get dirty and someone would see my underwear. (Which I promptly removed ... wrongly thinking that would then allow me to play lol).

I do like being a girl though. I just never liked being limited arbitrarily because of it.
Last edited by nightling; October 22nd, 2009 at 07:41 pm.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:33 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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chawks64 wrote :
Me too!

I think my dad wanted another boy, but he got Me instead! Growing up, I never had anyone tell me "Girls don't do that" or "Tomboys don't look like that", or expect me to fit into any kind of stereotype.
This may be going where angels fear to tread, but if your father really wanted another boy.....was he just expecting you to fit into a different stereotype than someone who wants to raise a girly?
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:40 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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chawks64 is trying very hard to be patient. Definitely not my best talent.

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jayjay wrote :
This may be going where angels fear to tread, but if your father really wanted another boy.....was he just expecting you to fit into a different stereotype than someone who wants to raise a girly?
I see what you mean, that he may have been choosing a stereotype for me. That may be true. But in practice, it was more a matter of two completely different parents raising one kid, and getting a variety of influences. My dad was a union man that loved country music. My mom was a librarian and classical musician. So I got to pick and choose what I wanted from the culture buffet.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:46 pm
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