Gender roles

I would say nurturer (of both husband and children), and keeper of the hearth and all of the work that entails.

jayjay I love this thread and I think you are dead on with your question....

Now, I understand that not everyman is like this, but my ex husband's idea of equality in a relationship changed once he became the sole bread winner. This was shocking to me as he ASKED me to stay home once kids came along. To this day i can play the conversation in my head like a video. He thought it important that our kids were not in day care but raised by me. Being raised by their mother was worth more than any dollar amount I made. And, we were fortunate enough to have this as an option.

Unfortunately, as soon as I stopped working, I was no longer an equal in his eyes. I cannot tell you how many times I heard him say "well, I make the money" WT...! I no longer had equal say in decision making and it filtered into every aspect of our relationship. In the end he was treating me and interacting with me in a completely different manner. No longer were my feelings or opinions of any importance or value. The equality, respect and admiration had vanished.

I have no problem with traditional gender roles in a relationship as long as they still see each others as equals and partners. Some people are steadfast in their perceptions of gender roles (I'm speaking in terms of both "chore" responsibilities and emotional) For others, however, those roles will be molded and have a different definition depending on the person they are with.

Do you think that is a role that can be compatible with a woman having a career....or is this an either/or?

Now in terms of women wanting a "provider/protector" type of man... Personally, I want a man that has the capability but I don't necessarily want him to take that role in our relationship 100% of the time. Guess it comes down to that strong sensitive type.

i wouldn't think so. who would have the time?

As soon as I stopped working, I was the little woman of the house. Out went the equality and in came the archaic thinking of the Stone Age. To make things even more difficult, with the birth of our second child, I couldn't go back to work right away, so he was starting to feel the heat of having a dead end job, another mouth to feed, and a brand new house. After about a year of struggling, I decided to get another job, to help ends meet, he then felt inadequate, and told me that I didn't need him because he wasn't man enough for me. I was damned if I did, and damned us all if I didn't. The marriage was going down the tubes and I couldn't do anything about it. Talk about feeling like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. All I wanted was to get things back to where we weren't drowning anymore. But he felt that was his problem to solve and not ours..