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Psycue Psycue is offline
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I've been talking to this one particular guy for about 3 months (met on EH); however, because he lives about 500 miles away and our conflicting schedules, we have only seen each other 3 times. We talk regularly, and get along great, but we are not exclusive.
This weekend (from Thurs. night to Sun. morning) he will be in my city, on business but he wants to see me. Last week, he asked if we can get together on Sat night. I told him I was going to a party but he can be my date. He agreed. Tonight he asked if he could see me during the day on Saturday because he couldn't meet with business partner until that evening.
As a sidebar and additional background, he is working a project which he feels will enable to work for himself soon and this is what he will be doing this weekend with a college buddy who has invested this project. He will be relocating to my city in a few months.
Now I have a problem with this change of plans because, well because I find it hard to believe that his friend couldn't get with him no other time than Sat. evening.
I don't know if my ego is bruised..., I feel like he is simply making room to visit others while he is here and I get the time he has left or he really needs to handle business and I should see him at the time he can see me. What I was going to do is say I can't do that time and suggest another day altogether...just tell me if I'm tripping.
- October 21st, 2009, 12:16 am
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LizziePooh LizziePooh is offline
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I would take it that he wants to see you...maybe he did not want to go to the party or maybe his plans did really change.

The point is...he does want to see you so if it is in your schedule, why not see him?

If it is not, thea that is what it is...but yes, I do think you may be over reacting.

Take people at their word...until proven otherwise. I find it is a philosophy that works for me, Worst case scenario, you trusted and they did not pull through. Is that a ding on you or on them?
- October 21st, 2009, 12:29 am
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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you're tripping.
- October 21st, 2009, 01:01 am
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DancingFool DancingFool is offline
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He is not coming into town for you, he is fitting you in because he wants to see you. If he has to change plans on you for that to happen....oh well....it happens. Don't be such a princess.
- October 21st, 2009, 06:49 am
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BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is offline
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Psycue wrote :
I feel like he is simply making room to visit others while he is here and I get the time he has left or he really needs to handle business and I should see him at the time he can see me.

...just tell me if I'm tripping.
And, if he is just making room to visit others while he is there? ...you aren't exclusive, by your own admission, so he has every right to rearrange his schedule as needed to see whoever he wants, whyever he wants.

So, yeah, I think you are 'tripping'. Kind of curious, though, if you think he's lying and is making plans to see someone else outside of 'business' ...does the fact that you are making up plans you don't have and lying to him make you any better of a person?
- October 21st, 2009, 07:12 am
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lucky173 lucky173 is offline
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You're trippin'. Even if you were exclusive, things happen, plans change. It is what it is. Is it really *that* bad that he needs to change his schedule around? Think big picture here. He does still want to make time to see you, and isn't pushing you out of the weekend completely. If that were the case, I could understand some disappointment, but, give the guy the benefit of the doubt here.

If he can make Saturday day, and you can also, but tell him you can't... that's game playing, no? You'd only be spiting yourself the way I see it. How far would that take you?

Go meet him and have fun.
- October 21st, 2009, 07:14 am
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Psycue Psycue is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
I would take it that he wants to see you...maybe he did not want to go to the party or maybe his plans did really change.

Take people at their word...until proven otherwise. I find it is a philosophy that works for me, Worst case scenario, you trusted and they did not pull through. Is that a ding on you or on them?
lil_lamb wrote :
you're tripping.
DancingFool wrote :
If he has to change plans on you for that to happen....oh well....it happens. Don't be such a princess.
BikerBeagle wrote :
So, yeah, I think you are 'tripping'. Kind of curious, though, if you think he's lying and is making plans to see someone else outside of 'business' ...does the fact that you are making up plans you don't have and lying to him make you any better of a person?
lucky173 wrote :
You're trippin'. Even if you were exclusive, things happen, plans change. It is what it is. Is it really *that* bad that he needs to change his schedule around? Think big picture here. He does still want to make time to see you, and isn't pushing you out of the weekend completely. If that were the case, I could understand some disappointment, but, give the guy the benefit of the doubt here.
Go meet him and have fun.
Yeah, I figured as much. It would be game playing to change the plans because I didn't have anything planned. I will give him a call and let him know it's fine, as I didn't give a definite last night.
Lmao, this is why I really like this site, you can get a lot of different opinions but when everyone is in agreement, you have no choice but to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Yeah you're trippin."
- October 21st, 2009, 08:06 am
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jayjay jayjay is online now
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Psycue wrote :
Tonight he asked if he could see me during the day on Saturday because he couldn't meet with business partner until that evening.
You seem to think he might be lying to you about this. If he is....that would indicate a potential problem for having a relationship with him. However, I think you're best off (for the time being) to go on the assumption that he's telling you the truth...and meet him when he's able.
- October 21st, 2009, 08:13 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Really don't have enough information to tell you what the guy is thinking / doing.

However, I will throw out some thoughts.

Assuming that the guy is your age it may be that his business buddy can't see him until the evening as his BB may have family obligations that he puts a priority on. His BB may also have to work on Saturday during the day. So this sounds plausible to me. I think you are over thinking this part.

He has expressed an interest in seeing you. This is a LDR and early on in the relationship. Unless you have plans that cannot be changed to see him on Saturday during the day you should make every effort to accommodate his schedule. If you start playing games of not going to see him because he has had a change in his plans then you are very likely to be sending the signal to end the relationship.

For what it is worth if it was me I would be trying to get together Thursday night if he gets in early enough, Friday for lunch or dinner if both schedules could allow that. Saturday as schedules allow and meet for breakfast on Sunday before he leaves to go back home. With a LDR you have to take EVERY opportunity to be together in person when they appear. While he is in your city for some intense business meetings surely he is not going to be working day and night Friday and Saturday.
- October 21st, 2009, 08:41 am
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Psycue Psycue is offline
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jayjay wrote :
You seem to think he might be lying to you about this. If he is....that would indicate a potential problem for having a relationship with him. However, I think you're best off (for the time being) to go on the assumption that he's telling you the truth...and meet him when he's able.
To be honest, my problem was that he changed the time to a time that I perceive to be a less important time for a date. I know that sounds crazy. Truthfully, when I want to have a controlled date with someone I choose during the day for lunch or something so I can leave by a certain time in order to do something else. So it was more a personal thing. I checked myself before saying anything to him.

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
For what it is worth if it was me I would be trying to get together Thursday night if he gets in early enough, Friday for lunch or dinner if both schedules could allow that. Saturday as schedules allow and meet for breakfast on Sunday before he leaves to go back home. With a LDR you have to take EVERY opportunity to be together in person when they appear. While he is in your city for some intense business meetings surely he is not going to be working day and night Friday and Saturday.
You know, I kinda picked up on him wanting to see me more than on Sat. but I missed the moment (at work and had to actually work) to see what other times we can meet. He comes across as a reserve guy. He makes suggestion or hints of possible things to do then later on in the conversation (or maybe when he gets up the nerve) ask for a date.
- October 21st, 2009, 09:34 pm
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