Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Dominoe Dominoe is offline
Dominoe's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

Hi y'all,

I've been communicating with a guy for a while now but haven't been able to see him as often as I would like due to job and other commitments on both our parts. We communicated daily for awhile, but lately communication has cut down. Sometimes we don't talk for a couple days at a time. He says he is still interested, and I've even given him many chances at an out. For instance, I've said if he doesn't feel the same as he once did there would be no hard feelings, he assured me that he was still feeling the same. But recently a couple of friends of mine have received requests to communicate from this guy. However, he hasn't really followed up at all with them. He wasn't trying to communicate with matches before.

So I was thinking there may be a couple of reasons here: either he is not interested ( but he could easily just stop answering my calls/texts etc. He actually initiates contact most of the time, even if it is a few days between), his membership is about to expire ( he said he joined for six months) and he wants to make use of it for the last couple of weeks, or maybe he just wants to make sure there is no one better for him on here? Trying to be reasonable and examine all possibilities here.

Should I keep talking to him even if he is still kind of looking? He definitely seems like he may still be interested, but for some reason he is somewhat distancing himself. If he wasn't he would stop calling, stop answering, and take me off his friends lists, right? I've read the advice articles that deal with guys and distancing issues, do those cover all standard possibilities? Thanks all!

Deanna
- October 20th, 2009, 11:53 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
DennisWisconsin's Avatar

DennisWisconsin Heading to Davenport, IA

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 4,710

See profile

It doesn't hurt to keep lines open with this person but I hope you are communicating with other people...
- October 21st, 2009, 11:44 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
Dominoe Dominoe is offline
Dominoe's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

Actually I wasn't talking to anyone else. I was hoping to enter into a relationship with this guy...
- October 21st, 2009, 11:48 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
DennisWisconsin's Avatar

DennisWisconsin Heading to Davenport, IA

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 4,710

See profile

I highly recommend that you diversify your search... don't put all of your eggs into that one basket...
- October 21st, 2009, 11:54 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
Icouldwriteabook Icouldwriteabook is offline
Icouldwriteabook's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 533

See profile

You say neither of you has seen each other as often as you would like? How often do you want to see someone you are in a relationship with?
There's the old saying which I think there is a lot of truth in "if you really want to be with someone, you'll make the time...."
I understand, vacations, etc, but it's up to both of you to agree to get together to establish a relationship in the first place.
Someone else suggested you keeping your options open, maybe he is doing the same (even though he is still interested), simply because you have not seen each other often.
- October 21st, 2009, 12:26 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

This topic keeps coming up over and over.I wonder if it is just because I am older than most on here or a personality thing But if I am interested in someone then I will find a way see them.

Maybe it is not a full blown official "date" but if for example I was having to work late then maybe she could come and meet me for a quick dinner then I go back to work. Or she works days and I work nights, so I go and meet her for lunch.

If you are really and truly too busy to see each other at least once a week then maybe one of you is just way too busy to even be thinking about dating at all.
- October 21st, 2009, 01:36 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
Ciao_eh Ciao_eh is offline
Ciao_eh's Avatar

Ciao_eh is enjoying the resurrection of the fedora

Pacesetter

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 493

See profile

I am with Dennis on this one. He is keeping his options open and so should you. I did the same when I was dating--talking to a few guys and dating, but when one arrived that was a true keeper, I cut out all the others quickly, as one would expect.

One guy I met on EH arranged to have coffee with me on a Wed morning, then had to cancel. We kept talking--turned out, from what I could tell, he was volume coffee meetings with prospects on Wed and Thursdays, then took the ones that might be keepers out on "free" Friday and/or Saturday. I elected to withdraw from that beauty contest. He was into volume, without investing much into the getting to know anyone well.

Not saying yours is that kind, but building to a relationship takes time on both your parts and it seems too early to tell if you are there, from what you have said. Nor am I saying to write him off, but I would not invest too much in this guy being "the one" until it moves to something more permanent. Meanwhile, have fun dating and seeing what is out there.

I hope it goes well for you!
- October 21st, 2009, 04:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Dominoe Dominoe is offline
Dominoe's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

It's unfortunate because I was talking to other matches at first as well, but was ultimately uninterested in them. Lately I have been trying more matches again, quite a few actually and I can't help comparing them to this one guy. None of the other people I've talked to or been matched with have caught my attention at all. I'm thinking of just throwing in the towel... *sigh*
- October 21st, 2009, 06:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
saulgoode saulgoode is offline
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,310

See profile

Don't throw in the towel.

One of two things will happen with this guy:

1) He'll work out.
2) He won't.

There isn't much you can do about it either way, other than wait, and live the best you can.


- Saul
- October 21st, 2009, 06:19 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Ron Ron is offline
Ron's Avatar

Ron is convinced that common sense is not very common.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 123

See profile

Yes, do keep talking to him. If you sense that he's a little distant, then give him some space and the opportunity to pursue you. Don't corner him by offering repeated "chances at an out"--if he wants out he'll take the out regardless.

To echo what other posters have already said, he's keeping his options open, and you should to do the same.
- October 21st, 2009, 07:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« bf has a 19 yr old son & is mad that i dont ask more ?s | Array | Why Buy the Cow When You Can Have the Milk for Free »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
After person hurt me, should I continue to date them? SouthernWoman26 Relationships 31 September 18th, 2009 05:09 pm
It's been a crazy relationship, Should I let it continue? SizzlinSaguaro Relationships 29 July 19th, 2009 09:49 pm
If you match a can't stand, do you keep talking to the match? stevex Using eHarmony 22 July 4th, 2009 02:00 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ooo I love that! oh and don't worry about going alone to a work party... I've done it many times and still managed to have a blast - oh how could that have happened?” – timeless2

Join the “A Date for the *Dreaded* Company Christmas Party” discussion

“From your own experience you've found that the majority of active men shy away from an overweight partner, for various reasons. Your choice seems to be between your self-described weakness for ... ” – cryhaze

Join the “Overwieght but physically active...” discussion

“seeing a job well done” – timeless2

Join the “Great pleasure.” discussion

“Did you trade emails on regular accounts? Maybe you can get her email from your computer via autocomplete? Type in the first letter or two of her email (if you remember) and you should get a list ... ” – arby8

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“One of my cats just lost another fang! I don't know how he did it, but I'm grateful that he is happy and not in much pain.” – timeless2

Join the “Ten Days Of Gratitude - Days 5 and 6” discussion

“ Been jaded long?” – chawks64

Join the “Men Have All the Power” discussion

“Relax. Have fun. Lilycat” – Lilycat

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“I'm not sure if you are ranting or asking something. Were you asking for advice whether to talk to them in Facebook? If yes, then it all boils down to this question: if you saw these ladies on FB ... ” – MMingE

Join the “matches dont respond/their profile says contact them on face book” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:20 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0