I was going to use quotes here to respond, but since there are some points made in several posts, I'm not going to do that.

1) If a friend, male or female, tells me they have met someone, my first question is almost always, "What do they do?" It tells me about them. I don't ask if they're cute or hot or anything like that. If my friend is excited about that person, it doesn't matter if they look like Catherine Deneuve, Cruella De Vil, me, or Darth Vader.

2) In regard to the ultra-smiley post complaining about the use of the term gold-digger: Some of us do have a lot in terms of income or resources. True, my current personal income isn't in the stratosphere, but that's because it's one my financial adviser and I set to make sure the trust I've created grows at a rate we're comfortable with. Just because you have not experienced being a man and having women show more interest in your income than in you does not mean there aren't gold-diggers around.

3) Paying for dates: I expect to pay for the first few dates AND I also expect my date, in those first few dates, to show me that she considers a relationship a two-way experience and will be doing more than milking me for all I've got. That doesn't mean I expect her to sleep with me quickly. Does she make a sincere offer to pay for half the meal? That's not required, but I notice it. Does she thank me for the date? Does she ever say, "That was a wonderful dinner. Can I treat you to an ice cream for desert?" Or does she say, "Thank you so much! I really enjoyed that. Can I do something for you, like make dinner for you next time?" It doesn't have to be much, but I do want to see some indication that the relationship will be about more than me giving to her.

4) I just wrote about this in another thread. When I was a teacher, there were women who refused to go out with me because I didn't make enough or wasn't in a career path that would give me responsibility and stature. That's when I learned there are women who care more about a man's income or position than the man.

5) How often does it happen -- one of the original questions. If you check the "What do you drive?" thread in About Us, you can see what I drive. It's an antique Mercedes 380SL 2 seater convertible. Now there is someone here who knows that it's not a sign of wealth to own an older Mercedes, but during he summer, when I drive it top-down, I get a lot of people asking me about it. And a couple times a month there are women who come up to me because the poor, misguided fools think an antique Mercedes is either a sign of wealth or of someone eccentric enough that he must be wealthy.

When I've brought that up before, it's offended people when I've dared to say there are women who are more interested in the implication of wealth than anything else. But I'm the one that's there for the conversations. I'm the one that hears the voice tones and sees the body language and reactions. There are women that ask about the car, then lead straight into questions that focus more on income than on me. They may ask, "What do you do?" which is innocent enough, but from there, you can ask about me, or ask questions that indicate more of an interest in the job or income, even if you think you're being discrete.

So, yes, I've encountered gold-diggers. I still do. I know some women don't believe they are out there, and know of at least one who considers it just my insecurity, but I do encounter them. Both when I was a teacher and didn't make enough for them and now, when I'd rather them not know my financial status. I don't get many dates, but I'd rather miss a date than go out with someone who cares more about my income than my tango and writing skills.