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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

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DreamingOfAtlantis wrote :
It's called Richmond, Virginia.

And I've dated in different social circles. I have a lot of friends who have moved out of Richmond that keep telling me if I moved out of here, the dating situation would be 100% different. I say extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

Good point. My data is NJ and PA, and we're getting the same.

It's hard to say what effect "social circle" is worth. Women with good jobs contribute more in percent (and a lot more in absolute terms), but they tend to be far more exacting in their requirements - not a problem, since I am that way too.

For me better-class women are definitely the best relationship partners.
Last edited by D_Lion; October 22nd, 2009 at 05:28 pm.
- October 22nd, 2009, 05:22 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
D_Lion, I like you and you've upset me. Are you deliberately misinterpreting Scarlet and myself or do you genuinely believe that we're so shallow and arrogant?

I can assure you that I do not find it remotely flattering to be approached by a man in a bar simply because I possess a v a g i n a. It is not a compliment to be schmoozed with gushing platitudes because the big idiot hopes that I have low self esteem and a matching IQ and can be flattered horizontal. I do not think, wow I must be real hot stuff, if a man wants to be brash with his cash in my presence, if anything it makes me suspect he thinks I may be a hooker or he can at least 'buy' me like one.

No, the attention of a player (and trust me, at my age, I know who they are) in no way makes me feel good about myself. Maybe taking his drinks doesn't 'teach' him anything. Maybe sometimes it does.

I tell you what it does achieve though, it achieves a rebalancing of equilibrium in my sense of self worth because I have punished the a$$ hole for his misplaced assumptions about his physical irrisistibility and skill set.

I wouldn't dream of behaving this way with a man who approaches me and is genuine. I'd let him buy me a beer and then I'd buy him one. I'd probably exchange phone numbers and the next day I'd feel like I was a Goddess again!

A good player will appear genuine.
- October 22nd, 2009, 05:28 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
6dle, It is inconceivable to me that anyone would buy a car for someone that he wasn't in a serious relationship with?!

What is the definition of “serious relationship?”

That car is quite a bit less than the engagement rings described in the other thread, and less than I have spent taking women on a vacation. It’s easy to spend that in a year going to dinner, common entertainments – not to mention gifts, if you are so inclined.

A car may be unusual, but that value is not. Particularly if you think the person has potential.
- October 22nd, 2009, 05:49 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
No, the attention of a player (and trust me, at my age, I know who they are) in no way makes me feel good about myself. Maybe taking his drinks doesn't 'teach' him anything. Maybe sometimes it does.

I tell you what it does achieve though, it achieves a rebalancing of equilibrium in my sense of self worth because I have punished the a$$ hole for his misplaced assumptions about his physical irrisistibility and skill set.

I will not accept the correctness that you are entitled to punish a man by taking his money because you don’t like his style or perceived intent. I could come with a long list of examples in which I could do this, and I would get ripped by the women for posting them.

I stand by my conclusions that this behavior by women makes men bitter and angry.

I concede that men engage in some bad things too, but I maintain that the right way to counter that is to refuse and not associate with such men.

I further reiterate that in the public bar scenario, your engaging with the “player” causes the decent guys to deduce they will not break through that crowd.

So, I think it’s wrong, and I think it drives a sub-optimal outcome.
- October 22nd, 2009, 05:56 pm
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DreamingOfAtlantis DreamingOfAtlantis is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
I will not accept the correctness that you are entitled to punish a man by taking his money because you don’t like his style or perceived intent. I could come with a long list of examples in which I could do this, and I would get ripped by the women for posting them....
I gotta go with D_Lion on this one. First, I hate players because I've been out with enough women that figure because I'm honest and straight forward that no man can truly be like that, so he MUST be a player. So I don't like them.

But justifying letting them buy drinks because you want to punish them would mean that next time a woman came up to me because she thought I had money, I'd be justified in letting her seduce me and take me to bed because it would either teach her a lesson OR because I would feel some sense of balance about using her before she had a chance to use me.

When you're taking drinks from a guy because you know he's a player and want him to waste his money on you, you're doing the same thing he is: using someone else. You're just making it into a game of using him before he can use you.

Such tactics do not become you, trixie1868.
- October 22nd, 2009, 06:26 pm
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I don't have any problem with a woman accepting a drink from a guy that she is not interested in. He is offering.

I have seen women solicit drinks from random men in bars & that I do have a problem with. She seeks them out.

There is a big difference between those 2 scenarios.

A lot of players don't even mind if you accept that drink anyhow. It is all a part of the big shot impression that are trying to achieve. It is also part of their numbers game.

Trixie is doing just fine in what she is doing.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:28 pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I don't have any problem with a woman accepting a drink from a guy that she is not interested in. He is offering.

I have seen women solicit drinks from random men in bars & that I do have a problem with. She seeks them out.

There is a big difference between those 2 scenarios.

A lot of players don't even mind if you accept that drink anyhow. It is all a part of the big shot impression that are trying to achieve. It is also part of their numbers game.

Trixie is doing just fine in what she is doing.
So long as the woman is willing to accept the headaches that could come from accepting a drink from a man she's not interested in, it's fine. But I've known many women complain about persistent men, contending that a man should not consider her acceptance of a drink or other offer as a sign of interest. If you're in a social venue in which this is a common occurrence, I'd have to disagree with that. It's a decision you have to deal with. In many cases, it may be unclear what his intentions are. To me the better course of action would be to accept nothing from a man you have no interest in.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:42 pm
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nightling wrote :
A good player will appear genuine.
That's right....and they also don't 'gush' or beg women to accept drinks from them. Those are the guys that just get used by women to buy them drinks. I've had women repeatedly trying to get me to buy them and their friends drinks and I'll refuse, regardless of the little ways they try to manipulate me to get me to do so.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:46 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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tbesq wrote :
To me the better course of action would be to accept nothing from a man you have no interest in.

At least this reflects well upon her character, and removes ambiguity about her intent.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:47 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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jayjay wrote :
That's right....and they also don't 'gush' or beg women to accept drinks from them. Those are the guys that just get used by women to buy them drinks. I've had women repeatedly trying to get me to buy them and their friends drinks and I'll refuse, regardless of the little ways they try to manipulate me to get me to do so.
In fact, a really good player gets the woman to buy him the drink. ; )
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:48 pm
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