What do guys think of women who initiate communication?


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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #1  October 16,2009, 8:13pm
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After trying for several months the 'old fashioned' way by waiting for the guys to initiate first contact, I have decided to start initiating the contact to matches that I would like to communicate with. So far, I have not had any responses. Are men put off by women making the first move? Also, if they had put that they prefer guided communication and I sent them a fast track would that put them off? (I just can't stand those silly questions and prefer to ask my own-I think its more personal.)
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #2  October 16,2009, 8:16pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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I'm not at all put off by a woman initiating communication. Though....I don't know if you'll have much of a higher percentage communicating than if you just waited for them. Also, if I get a request for Fast Track I'll respond...but may deny it and continue with GC. Most of the requests for Fast Track I have gotten strike me as scammers who just sent a short message and then ask to be contacted at a private email address.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  October 16,2009, 8:17pm
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I don't care who starts.

Matching is random; whoever finds the match first ought to start.

But, yes, women who take initiative are far more interesting to me.
 
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chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #4  October 16,2009, 8:31pm
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I'd like to ask a question - of those who are veterans to this medium of dating.... If you've been doing this for an extensive amount of time, and met several several several different matches, and not found anyone - not anyone - that you could grow something special with, do you not think that perhaps the medium itself, and the unlimited options for other "choices" creates a jaded perspective. Perhaps a lack of willingness to compromise on the "checklist" of what ideal should look like, or a non-chalance about the fact that there's a whole grocery list of others you can pick instead if there's any "work" involved? I'm just wondering what this venue might be doing to our ability to compromise, commit, care.....
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  October 16,2009, 8:35pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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chrysalis08 wrote :
I'd like to ask a question - of those who are veterans to this medium of dating.... If you've been doing this for an extensive amount of time, and met several several several different matches, and not found anyone - not anyone - that you could grow something special with, do you not think that perhaps the medium itself, and the unlimited options for other "choices" creates a jaded perspective. Perhaps a lack of willingness to compromise on the "checklist" of what ideal should look like, or a non-chalance about the fact that there's a whole grocery list of others you can pick instead if there's any "work" involved? I'm just wondering what this venue might be doing to our ability to compromise, commit, care.....
eHarmony certainly isn't providing me with an 'unlimited number of choices'. From this service I think I've met a total of 3-4 women over about a year of membership at different times. Ok...you're starting to sound a little bitter now.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #6  October 16,2009, 8:35pm

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Well you did come to eH to find love and not to wait for it to find you. You should be initiating contact will all those matches you find interesting. After all you are paying for a service.

As far as fast track goes. I always look at what communication form my match pefers, Like jayjay said some of the FT are scammers. I would only send FT to those who selected it.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #7  October 16,2009, 8:39pm
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Most of your matches are inactive and will not respond.
 
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GEF2 is offline GEF2 Post #8  October 16,2009, 8:41pm
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jayjay wrote :
I'm not at all put off by a woman initiating communication. Though....I don't know if you'll have much of a higher percentage communicating than if you just waited for them. Also, if I get a request for Fast Track I'll respond...but may deny it and continue with GC. Most of the requests for Fast Track I have gotten strike me as scammers who just sent a short message and then ask to be contacted at a private email address.

I don't understand what you mean by scammers. In my ft email, I am writing normal stuff. You know, that I liked their profile, think we have things in common, tell them a little about myself, etc. Why would someone join a serious dating site just to scam someone-and wouldn't that be the exception, not the norm?
 
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chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #9  October 16,2009, 8:41pm
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Sorry jayjay - maybe tonite I am bitter....
Tomorrow is another day.....
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #10  October 16,2009, 8:45pm
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jayjay wrote :
I'm not at all put off by a woman initiating communication. Though....I don't know if you'll have much of a higher percentage communicating than if you just waited for them. Also, if I get a request for Fast Track I'll respond...but may deny it and continue with GC. Most of the requests for Fast Track I have gotten strike me as scammers who just sent a short message and then ask to be contacted at a private email address.
That they are I am afraid. That they are.
 
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