Yes, beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

I'm not sure though how you're defining 'mutual chemistry' or if you're saying it has to be there pretty quickly. I probably in the minority because I don't put a lot of stock in 'chemistry'. For me, there simply has to be enough I like that I'm willing to get to know that person better.

The first guy I fell in love with was my first year in university. We both worked for the student newspaper and were around the newspaper office at the same times at least several hours a week. One day in late November (meaning we'd had casual friendly contact for nearly 3 months) we both had classes in the same direction and were walking together part of the way. He said something which made me realize he was interested in me. Until that point, the thought had never crossed my mind either way. When I considered it for a while, I thought "sure why not" and ended up falling in love with him. There was no immediate spark, no quick knowing whether there would be chemsitry. Just a gradual getting to know him and increasingly liking what I saw. I would say that the relationships I've had that I can look back on with a certain amount of fondness for the guy all had a similar beginning. The ones where there was strong 'chemistry' were much more flammable and prone to explode spectacularly.

I'm also not sure that I agree that we have no control over whether chemistry is there or not. I recently had a conversation with a good friend who was trying to change his relationship patterns. All the women he's dated have been drama queens. He got to a point where he knew he didn;t want that type of relationship, but when he met someone who wasn't a drama queen, he didn't feel any 'spark', but he still did with drama queens. He found it very interesting (and I think somewhat encouraging) when I told him that I was no longer attracted to the kinds of people I used to be. For me, I tend to feel an attraction when a person has the qualities I admire, whereas in the past I felt an attraction to people based on more unconscious reasons - the 'chemistry' is often there because that person offers us an opportunity to work out something in our life. As I have worked through those things, I have arrived at a point where that 'chemistry' doesn't seem to be there with men who lack the qualities I seek. So I feel like I have more control over it - not because I'm trying to control it - but because I'm less at the mercy of my subconscious impulses.

I also have come to believe that a certain amount of chemistry CAN in fact be 'fabricated'. There have even been articles here on eH that talk about ways to generate chemistry. Players are experts at generating that, which is why they have so much success and that's one of the reasons I'm so wary of 'chemistry' as a basis for entering into a relationship.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself properly, and I know it's a bit off topic from the initial question, but I guess I just feel pretty strongly that initial chemistry/attraction can be completely misleading.