FREEZE! And the only thing pointing at me is a phone number!


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lizzilicious is offline lizzilicious Post #1  October 15,2009, 3:32pm
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As I told you in my first post, I am new to this and honestly thought I was ready to start dating again. I have had several men contact me and we have emailed back and forth and now they have given me their phone numbers to call them. I just can't! I don't know why? I can't seem to pick up the phone to talk to any of them? Some have even emailed me again to ask why I have not contacted them. I can't reply. I am not sure why? Perhaps I am just not ready to date again or maybe this whole internet thing just scares me. Just like going to a coffee shop, very uncomfortable for me. Any advice?
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #2  October 15,2009, 3:36pm

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okay take a deep breath....they are not all like this

when a guy gives me his number I usually just ignore it. I don't call guys. It's not just an old fashioned thing either, its weird, uncomfortable, out of my comfort zone and unnesscary in my mind.

Some men ask me for my number. Sometimes I do that and say something like....sure, feel free to give me a call, but to be honest speaking on the phone before meeting is not really a requirment to me before meeting someone. If you would like to talk, I'm usually available in the evenings.

something like that....if they give me a number I might intiatite that conversation. If they ask me to call them I might offer my number and state what is above.

Don't cave to pressure. Always remain in your comfort zone.

And don't even bother with guys you are not interested in.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 15,2009, 3:42pm
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You don't want to call specifically, or you don't want to meet guys?

How do you feel and react when a man approaches you in person?
 
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lizzilicious is offline lizzilicious Post #4  October 15,2009, 3:58pm
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D_Lion wrote :
You don't want to call specifically, or you don't want to meet guys?

How do you feel and react when a man approaches you in person?
I have 26 men that report to me every week at work! I am very comfortable in my business life, but unfortunately like a duck out of water in my new personal life. I give speeches to crowds of 1000+ at several business functions throughout the year. I am an extremely confident person usually, however this new life is quite different. I don't get it. I just cannot get myself to call these gentleman.
 
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lizzilicious is offline lizzilicious Post #5  October 15,2009, 4:06pm
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Well I am off to a meeting. Let me know what you all think. I appreciate the advice.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  October 15,2009, 4:16pm
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Maybe it's because these are people you've never met in person? Emailing a stranger is one thing; talking on the phone is getting more personal.

If it's the internet thing that scares you, probably other ways of meeting men are going to work better for you.

Or perhaps you're not really ready to start dating?

Maybe you could pick just one -- the one you feel most comfortable about -- and set up a coffee shop thing? via email, and see how that feels. Just as an experiment. Doesn't have to go any further.
 
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Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  October 15,2009, 4:30pm
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Maybe you actually kind of like the thrill of leading men on...
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #8  October 15,2009, 4:48pm

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lizzilicious wrote :
. I don't get it. I just cannot get myself to call these gentleman.
If you're not comfortable with calling these men. It's okay, to let them know you prefer the old fashioned way, like cp30 said

Usually when I give my number to a women and ask her to call me.
I don't mind those "old fashioned way" replies. I only give my number when the OC stage seems to be dragging and I getting one sentence replies. which by then I start to lose some interest anyways. I also like a women who takes the initiative too.

So I would suggest getting to the phone stage with a few of these men. See where that leads. Don't look at a first encounter as a "date" think of it as meeting with a possible friend. Take some of the pressure of the word date..

After a couple of these. You might have a better idea if you are ready or not for dating again. Which to me is your biggest hurdle!

add: just in case your not comfortable giving your number out, you can also use the secure call feature.
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 15,2009 at 4:51pm.
 
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LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #9  October 15,2009, 5:17pm

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I am with CP. I don't call the man either. When it gets down to actually meeting them, I provide my number and ask them to call to setup the details.

You will have to answer the phone though....lol!!!

And welcome to the Brave New World (dating). Don't worry...we are all ducks out of water...some of us are just better at pretending we aren't.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  October 15,2009, 5:45pm
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lizzilicious wrote :
Well I am off to a meeting. Let me know what you all think.

I think meetings are boring. We are much more fun!
 
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