FREEZE! And the only thing pointing at me is a phone number!


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Lilycat is offline Lilycat Post #21  November 5,2009, 5:17pm
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Just been lurking for a while....... but back again lol.

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For myself, I prefer to get their number and call them while blocking mine the first time. Safety reasons. Also lets me call from my regular phone instead of the cell. This could also be why the men are offering their numbers to you, if they have been on line for a bit this is pretty common practice in a lot of areas. If you have had some prior communication through email etc., then block your number, (ask your service provider how if you don't know)go ahead and make the call. If the only communication you have had was them sending you their number, well I would not be so quick to follow up on that if you know what I mean. Once I have had a conversation with someone I generally know pretty quickly if I want to give them mine, or have any other contact with them at all.
Another thing I tend to do is once we have talked on the phone, is to plan a meet up pretty quickly - just coffee, not usually a proper date - after the phone call. I have found that this tends to "keep it real" for both parties, which is very important IMHO. It is far too easy for both sides of the equation to forget that they are dealing with a real flesh and blood human being and for me this tends to keep it real. The coffee meet also cuts down on the "first date nerves" if and when you decide to do that.
I think you are probably just a little nervous about the whole thing, and maybe having an issue about knowing what is proper etiquette in this day and age, which has changed from the last time you were out there meeting people.......and this is a startlingly different venue compared to IRL....
Your phone number lets strangers find out far too much personal information about you, remember they are strangers until you meet.
Is it coffee shops you are uncomfortable with, or just the idea of meeting someone in one?

Oh, and what Chrysalis said.......
Last edited by Lilycat; November 5,2009 at 5:20pm. Reason: oops forgot something lol
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #22  November 5,2009, 6:24pm
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I must be a freak. I'll call anyone.

But I admit it was weird and awkward those first few times.

Maybe you'd feel better if you had a bit of a script to follow? Roleplay it with friends? I dunno.

But, if you're telling them you'll call, freezing up on the phone call, and then having a hard time even responding to e-mail when they ask why you haven't called, it sounds more like some variation of mild social anxiety.
 
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Faira is offline Faira Post #23  November 5,2009, 7:00pm
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is off picking daisies

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D_Lion wrote :
I think meetings are boring.
You and me both, Frog.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #24  November 6,2009, 9:55pm
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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lizzilicious wrote :
As I told you in my first post, I am new to this and honestly thought I was ready to start dating again. I have had several men contact me and we have emailed back and forth and now they have given me their phone numbers to call them. I just can't! I don't know why? I can't seem to pick up the phone to talk to any of them? Some have even emailed me again to ask why I have not contacted them. I can't reply. I am not sure why? Perhaps I am just not ready to date again or maybe this whole internet thing just scares me. Just like going to a coffee shop, very uncomfortable for me. Any advice?
I feel your pain liz. I have made a similar post.

It seems just ... creepy to be calling someone I don't know at all in this context.

If I knew them, it would not be a problem.

But how do you "know" someone in just text and photos? Well you can't. I know that.

Maybe it's not logical, but I understand how you feel.
 
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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #25  November 6,2009, 10:19pm
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Where did this thread come from?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #26  November 7,2009, 6:38pm
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all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

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ThePriestess wrote :
Where did this thread come from?
The Internet?
 
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