FREEZE! And the only thing pointing at me is a phone number!


Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #11  October 15,2009, 5:45pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,742

See profile

There are often multiple paths to the same objective.

I have frequently advocated picking what works and makes you comfortable, and then refining and optimizing it.

Me, I go to the same restaurants all the time. I go where I know what experience I’m going to get. It works for me.

If you don’t like to call, then ask him to call you. Or e-mail, or meet right away. The good thing about being the woman here, is that few men really care – they just want to meet. Now, if nothing is working and you “freeze” at every option, then you have a problem.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is online now Mr_Right Post #12  October 15,2009, 5:54pm
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile

lizzilicious wrote :
As I told you in my first post, I am new to this and honestly thought I was ready to start dating again. I have had several men contact me and we have emailed back and forth and now they have given me their phone numbers to call them. I just can't! I don't know why? I can't seem to pick up the phone to talk to any of them? Some have even emailed me again to ask why I have not contacted them. I can't reply. I am not sure why? Perhaps I am just not ready to date again or maybe this whole internet thing just scares me. Just like going to a coffee shop, very uncomfortable for me. Any advice?
Say "Maybe you should give me a call. I'm free at x time. Here's my number." Then go from there.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #13  October 15,2009, 6:17pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

lizzilicious wrote :
As I told you in my first post, I am new to this and honestly thought I was ready to start dating again. I have had several men contact me and we have emailed back and forth and now they have given me their phone numbers to call them. I just can't! I don't know why? I can't seem to pick up the phone to talk to any of them? Some have even emailed me again to ask why I have not contacted them. I can't reply. I am not sure why? Perhaps I am just not ready to date again or maybe this whole internet thing just scares me. Just like going to a coffee shop, very uncomfortable for me. Any advice?
Don't feel bad. Many, many women are like this. Even if they would really like to see a man and have his number....they just won't call him. That's why if a man is talking with a new woman it's 100 times better for him to get her phone # than to give her his. Most women just won't make that call. The way around this is....that you have to be willing to give them your phone number. If these men were smart they'd be asking for it anyway.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #14  October 15,2009, 8:07pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

LizziePooh wrote :
I am with CP. I don't call the man either. When it gets down to actually meeting them, I provide my number and ask them to call to setup the details.

You will have to answer the phone though....lol!!!

And welcome to the Brave New World (dating). Don't worry...we are all ducks out of water...some of us are just better at pretending we aren't.
To you an CP just a different take on who calls who, and this was told to me by a match.

When it came time to talk on the phone she would ask for the guys phone number so that she could call and block her number. She did this for safety reasons.
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #15  October 15,2009, 8:12pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

Some women do that...most don't. If I am that unsure of a guy in the first place I don't want to talk to him.

Frankly, there isn't much he can do with my phone number, and I'm willing to take the risk of him ...calling me too much.

There is a heck of a lot more he can do with my last name, which I am more careful of.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mainah64 is offline Mainah64 Post #16  October 15,2009, 8:48pm
Mainah64's Avatar

is taking his mini van to the dragstrip in the spring - aiming for mid 15's

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

South western Maine

Posts: 717

See profile

lizzilicious wrote :
As I told you in my first post, I am new to this and honestly thought I was ready to start dating again. I have had several men contact me and we have emailed back and forth and now they have given me their phone numbers to call them. I just can't! I don't know why? I can't seem to pick up the phone to talk to any of them? Some have even emailed me again to ask why I have not contacted them. I can't reply. I am not sure why? Perhaps I am just not ready to date again or maybe this whole internet thing just scares me. Just like going to a coffee shop, very uncomfortable for me. Any advice?
They give you their number and you can't call. They later ask you why you didn't call and you refuse to respond to even the question.

You don't seem ready to date, maybe afraid of actually making a mature connection. Stop wasting people's time. There is a person on the other end.
 
  Reply With Quote
cp30 is offline cp30 Post #17  October 15,2009, 8:58pm

has only threatened to give up

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2007

Up in the NW corner somewhere, but not quite Canada :)

Posts: 7,750

See profile

If someone offers me their number, I don't have to do anything with it. Its a lot different than if you ASKED for a number.

Lots of guys immediatley offer the number, without even first establishing any type of connection. It's a major, major turn off.
 
  Reply With Quote
sqg123 is offline sqg123 Post #18  October 15,2009, 9:39pm
sqg123's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Apr 2008

Posts: 525

See profile

I don't like being the one to make the first call either. I learned to just tell them "I'd rather you call me my number is 123-4567 and I'm usually home by 7:00"

You have to take some sort of first step here or you'll never meet anyone.
 
  Reply With Quote
lizzilicious is offline lizzilicious Post #19  October 18,2009, 4:51pm
lizzilicious's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 9

See profile

cp30 wrote :
If someone offers me their number, I don't have to do anything with it. Its a lot different than if you ASKED for a number.

Lots of guys immediatley offer the number, without even first establishing any type of connection. It's a major, major turn off.
Oy! you are so right! Women here need to listen to what you just said! You are so right, girlfriend! You absolutely hit the nail on the hammer!
 
  Reply With Quote
chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #20  October 18,2009, 5:20pm
chrysalis08's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2009

Ontario Canada

Posts: 168

See profile

lizzilicious wrote :
I have 26 men that report to me every week at work! I am very comfortable in my business life, but unfortunately like a duck out of water in my new personal life. I give speeches to crowds of 1000+ at several business functions throughout the year. I am an extremely confident person usually, however this new life is quite different. I don't get it. I just cannot get myself to call these gentleman.
Oh boy, are you a copy of me.... It's scary when you realize that outside the professional world (and in the dating world) the ground under you isn't something you can "manage". I was EXACTLY the same. But my professional "personna" isn't based on feelings, being vulnerable, letting my guard down, letting people into my inner space.
I thought I wasn't ready for dating either...just keep it light.

The first few men who called me must have thought I was crazy. I just couldn't get myself to take the next step to go out with them. The first date breaks the ice and you get a little more comfortable. Keep it simple, set a beginning time and an end time - however long you feel comfortable with. If it helps, set up a meeting with a friend right after to debrief. Think of a couple of stand by topics that you can talk about if you get jittery. Tell them only what you're comfortable telling them about yourself. The first date is not the time to tell him all your dark secrets. Remember, you are always in control of you. If you absolutely know they're not for you, keep it light, give off a "hands off, friends only" vibe, and if you can't tell them in person that you're not interested, then call or send a short note to them afterwards thanking them and telling them you don't think you're a good fit. Keep it simple. You owe them nothing at this point, as they owe you nothing.

My first date I was really anxious, but I didn't feel any chemistry at all and it was easy. He was a nice guy, and he drove quite a distance to meet with me, but it was easy to guide the situation where I wanted it, which was - nice to meet you, good luck to you. After that I was fine to date others.

Good luck - it gets easier!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Am I too old fashion to think a guy should call after a date??? | Dating | Frozen solid »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:33pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0