Whats up with this "meeting at a coffee shop"


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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #21  October 14,2009, 8:55pm
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jayjay wrote :
So what happens if a man or woman like you (who prefers lunch dates)......meets a woman or man like cp (who prefers dinner dates)? Are the two of you already incompatible and unable to agree on a date?
If neither will compromise ... yes.
 
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CeJay is offline CeJay Post #22  October 14,2009, 8:57pm
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cp30 wrote :
I ojbect to lunch can you get less romantic? I don't really think so. Even breakfast might be better...
I totaly agree. Lunch just doesn't seem like the setting for an initial date.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #23  October 14,2009, 9:01pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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CeJay wrote :
I totaly agree. Lunch just doesn't seem like the setting for an initial date.
So what do you do if a man invites you to have lunch with him?
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #24  October 14,2009, 9:12pm
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jayjay wrote :
So what happens if a man or woman like you (who prefers lunch dates)......meets a woman or man like cp (who prefers dinner dates)? Are the two of you already incompatible and unable to agree on a date?
I didn't say I wouldn't go ... I would go on either. I think I would enjoy the more relaxed setting though. There is a formality to a dinner date, a kind of veneer if you will, that doesn't seem as necessary in a coffee shop.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #25  October 14,2009, 9:14pm
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bigfincat wrote :
Less pressure might just guarantee you less fun & definitely less excitement.
Oh I dunno. I think when people relax they find it easier to have fun. And generally I think I am the type of person who can have fun in any setting. I'm not saying I wouldn't go on a dinner date btw. Just that a coffee date seems a nice way to start things off with someone you don't know very well yet.
 
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CeJay is offline CeJay Post #26  October 14,2009, 9:14pm
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jayjay wrote :
So what do you do if a man invites you to have lunch with him?
I don't know... do I get to be the man in the relationship or does he?

If a woman asked me to lunch I'd either try to see if she was open to something later on the day suggested or if something else worked for her. If not, then I still wouldn't decline... Why turn someone down just over lunch?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #27  October 14,2009, 9:17pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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nightling wrote :
I didn't say I wouldn't go ... I would go on either. I think I would enjoy the more relaxed setting though. There is a formality to a dinner date, a kind of veneer if you will, that doesn't seem as necessary in a coffee shop.
Same here. I like seeing a date in a short skirt....but I won't walk out if she doesn't wear one.

CeJay: oops.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #28  October 14,2009, 9:20pm
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jayjay wrote :
Same here. I like seeing a date in a short skirt....but I won't walk out if she doesn't wear one.

CeJay: oops.
Oh well if you did the coffee shop thing, you could wear short shorts. ; )
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #29  October 14,2009, 9:28pm
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nightling wrote :
I didn't say I wouldn't go ... I would go on either. I think I would enjoy the more relaxed setting though. There is a formality to a dinner date, a kind of veneer if you will, that doesn't seem as necessary in a coffee shop.
I respect that a woman would do what worked best for her.

I do think that any pressure or formality placed on the situation is self imposed. I think that dinner can be at whatever tone you place on it. Either or both parties have control of that.
 
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followmesky is offline followmesky Post #30  October 14,2009, 9:35pm
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kindofaquirk wrote :
Ah, yes, you are definitely new if you don't understand the coffee date. In my experience (and many other people's as well), a date will not always live up to your expectations in person. They may look completely different from their profile, not be a fraction as witty as in email, seem kind of creepy, bore you to death, etc. Would you really want to commit to a full evening date with someone you've never really met???

The beauty of the coffee date is that it can be short and is very low investment. Think of it more as a pre-date. You show up to size eachother up and decide if one another is worth a real date. I wouldn't fault a guy for going this 'cheap' route for the first meeting. Now if you hit it off on your first meeting and he only suggests an upgrade to fast food next time?...then you may need to think twice! lol.
Great explanation but I must add, please note a coffee shop does not only have coffee. There's tea , and other delicious items of your choice, so indulge it will be short and hopefully, sweet.
 
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