Whats up with this "meeting at a coffee shop"

The fallacy here is considering the coffee thing a DATE. It's not. I personally consider it a "meet & greet" if you will. It's what keeps you from going out on endless blind dates.

You've exchanged a bunch of witty emails. You've had hours long phone calls way past your bedtime. You arrange a fantastic evening for Saturday night and spend all week in anticipation. When she shows up, you try real hard not to stare at the hump on her back... or that 40 pounds of spare tire and 3" of missing stature that wasn't in his picture... or whatever it is that keeps the chemistry from being there in person. But you're now stuck on this date knowing full well you have no interest in a second date. Happens all the time!!

Why put yourself through that? To me, if you connect via email and on the phone, the next logical step is to see if you share that connection in person. So have a short, non-committal meeting and see if you ARE interested in making a date. That way your actual DATE isn't a blind date.

I personally won't do it any other way. I won't call it a date. And I have yet to have ANYONE say no thanks to a simple coffee "meeting" as a first get together... even if we drink iced tea!

There is NOTHING wrong with the coffee date. It is no different from meeting for drinks...

And I have had many coffee dates that lets well into the evening.

There is something casual and cozy and comfortable. Like sitting in someone's living room without having to give a stranger your address....

BTW, another person here, (cp30) has mentioned she likes to at the very least meet up for drinks if not dinner.

I completely disagree with the meeting for drinks idea.

Yes, alcohol will make it easier to talk with the person (Liquid Courage!!!), but you simply don't know the person well enough yet.

Perhaps they are a recovering alcoholic, or maybe they have a family member who is one.
Do you really want to make such a bad blunder that early into meeting the person?

How does making the situation more formal and more expensive reduce anxiety or make it more advantageous to you?

A bad meeting (or even just a "no chemistry") puts you in a very social mood?

Sorry, but I continue to be unconvinced by your reasoning. I respect your preference, but your defense of it is weak.

I don't read any harshness on this thread.

The OP just prefers to have more effort & excitement.

I think that most people commenting would attempt to compromise with a match rather easily.

I would definitely do Starbucks at night if it works out that way. There are probably less people there after dark so some privacy would be more likely.

I would go to that establishment simply because it is the best coffee that I have ever tasted...especially Komodo Dragon or Sumatra. Mmmm. delicious.

... downtown where there is a lot going on with many, many other women that I am sure to be attracted to all

There is NOTHING wrong with the coffee date. It is no different from meeting for drinks...

And I have had many coffee dates that lets well into the evening.

There is something casual and cozy and comfortable. Like sitting in someone's living room without having to give a stranger your address....