I've had ENOUGH!!! What will it take?? PART 2 - FOLLOW UP


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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #21  October 15,2009, 12:45pm
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tweet37 wrote :
This is probably not far from the truth. He very well may have been busy communicating with and dating others which is what you should be doing too. And maybe he was saving the best for last. Who knows?

What's the harm in answering him in a couple days?
I agree with you. And, who cares what kind of strategy the guy is using. They have never met yet. He owes her nothing. He doesn't know that she is great, and should not be ignored until he meets her and finds that there is chemistry. I'm a lawyer, and am too busy to answer my emails all the time even though I may still be interested.
 
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cappagirl is offline cappagirl Post #22  October 15,2009, 12:47pm
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tweet37 wrote :
This is probably not far from the truth. He very well may have been busy communicating with and dating others which is what you should be doing too. And maybe he was saving the best for last. Who knows?

What's the harm in answering him in a couple days?

Hey Tweet! Honestly - I'm 100% sure he had at least one or two other gals on the go...and that NEVER would have bothered me if he had just been honest about it.
I'm always chatting with at least one or two guys at once.Theres no crime in that - but at least im upfront about it. If he had just told me that in the first place...I wouldnt have jumped in with both feet right away.

I dont think theres a harm in replying to him in a couple days. My buddy says that i'll find out the 'why' of what he did..IN TIME..and to just play it cool and be patient. Which is hard for me and out of the norm - but I'm going to try it. At this point I dont think i have much to lose as I've already emotionally detached myself from the situation and am moving into a positive direction with a match from eH.

It would be nice if I really was the 'best for last'...but another friend from this Advice site told me that he should be coming back at me with something much more than a one line email. But maybe he's just testing the waters...I'm not sure??
 
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AsianFusion is offline AsianFusion Post #23  October 15,2009, 12:49pm
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Lostintranslation wrote :
A lesson hard learned some years ago:

The gentle version:

Never make someone your priority while to them you are merely an option.

The harsh version:

They call it number two for a reason.
I have always wondered . . . why do they call it "number two" and not "number one"? There are times that they feel more like "number one" on the priority list. Just saying . . .
 
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cappagirl is offline cappagirl Post #24  October 15,2009, 12:50pm
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k374 wrote :
If someone does not respond to my communication within 48 hrs they are history, I will never ever talk to them again. It is a deliberate action to ignore someone and that should tell you something.
Ok....so why is it NOT ok for me to wait a couple days to message back...but it IS ok for him to 'ignore' me for 10???

AAaaaaaaaaand - if you're saying it 'should tell me something' that he ignored my messages.....WHY is he back after all this time? If he had zero interest in me at all...then yes the ignoring makes sense......but not attempting contact again..
Last edited by cappagirl; October 15,2009 at 12:55pm.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #25  October 15,2009, 12:51pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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parakeetjordan wrote :
I agree with you. And, who cares what kind of strategy the guy is using. They have never met yet. He owes her nothing. He doesn't know that she is great, and should not be ignored until he meets her and finds that there is chemistry. I'm a lawyer, and am too busy to answer my emails all the time even though I may still be interested.
For me 'still be interested' is a relative term. With women whose photo and profile don't highly interest me....that's accurate for me as well. I'm oftentimes not likely to actually even meet these women. I may send a couple emails and then lose interest, especially if she isn't keeping up communication. In contrast....there are a few women who really pique my interest....and these I have a hope that they actually might be 'great', and with these I'll definitely remain in touch.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #26  October 15,2009, 12:54pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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cappagirl wrote :
My buddy says that i'll find out the 'why' of what he did..IN TIME..and to just play it cool and be patient.
I'd say....if you have absolutely nothing else to do with your time, yeah. But if you have to prioritize things in your life....I doubt if it's worth giving him the time to find out.
 
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pds857 is offline pds857 Post #27  October 15,2009, 1:04pm
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I say be passive agressive.
Email him in a day or three then answer his email, an pose your own generic question then dont even look at your emails for 2 weeks (if ya can)
I cant stand someone that wants to play games but if they start it, then by god I'm gonna go for it to an show them how it feels to be toyed with.
Or insist that ya'll should meet an POOF. LOL
Dang, I think I could be mean when If get ticked. Oh well.

Eh, but really, if it was me, I'd jus be honest, hey thanks for gettin back to me, but I'm talkin to someone else, an I'd rather pursue this other guy than you. Sorry, good luck.
Bye Bye C-Ya.
But thats jus me.
 
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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #28  October 15,2009, 1:24pm
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jayjay wrote :
For me 'still be interested' is a relative term. With women whose photo and profile don't highly interest me....that's accurate for me as well. I'm oftentimes not likely to actually even meet these women. I may send a couple emails and then lose interest, especially if she isn't keeping up communication. In contrast....there are a few women who really pique my interest....and these I have a hope that they actually might be 'great', and with these I'll definitely remain in touch.
JayJay, so if a guy has established a pattern of responding to emails every four days for about two months, then that means to you that he's not that interested? In my case, he has indicated that he wants to meet. Two months seems like a long time to not be interested. He has an important job and kids. I've just been holding him off, and scheduling a telephone call with him for about a week and a half after he asked me to call him, because I'm busy with work, family, and yes other dates, matches, etc. BUT, I am very interested in him so the fact that I do not respond or want to chat immediately is not an accurate indicator of my level of interest. I just need to pace myself, and not get burnt out.

I think each person has his or her own individual style, and maybe this guy of OP has his own unique situation, but he may still be very interested in OP. She just needs to be aware that he may be a jerk, and guard her heart accordingly.

I had better get back to work now. This board is addictive. Yikes.
 
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flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #29  October 15,2009, 2:38pm
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Ten days followed by an incomplete sentence as if you didn't contact him a couple of times in the interim is pretty thin, IMHO. He's throwing you a crumb.

Maybe having him return your texts with a vague one liner nearly two weeks later seems like some type of validation, but it's not really. It just tells you where you are on his list of priorities. That would be such a buzz kill for me.

That said, best of luck to you if you contact him. Maybe your buddy will be right after all.
 
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cappagirl is offline cappagirl Post #30  October 15,2009, 5:12pm
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flowerchild66 wrote :
Ten days followed by an incomplete sentence as if you didn't contact him a couple of times in the interim is pretty thin, IMHO. He's throwing you a crumb.

Maybe having him return your texts with a vague one liner nearly two weeks later seems like some type of validation, but it's not really. It just tells you where you are on his list of priorities. That would be such a buzz kill for me.

That said, best of luck to you if you contact him. Maybe your buddy will be right after all.

But whats the point of throwing a breadcrumb? Does he honestly think this little of me as a person? And if he does....why is he even bothering at all??
 
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