Dramatist is offline Dramatist Post #1  October 13,2009, 6:37pm
Dramatist's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Sacramento, CA

Posts: 10

See profile

I apologize if this has been covered before. I didn't see a thread yet.

I have been surprised by the fact that approximately 40% of the eharmony matches come without a photo. It seems high to me, especially compared to other sites. It presents a difficult issue. It isn't that I am overly hung up on looks, although being attractive (not necessarily thin or pretty) is important, it is more that if I start communicating and then the person sends a photo and I really don't feel an attraction or some other information puts me off, now it seems the photo is the most important thing, which it isn't if I started a communication without it.

I am here to find a long-term mate and so having physical chemistry has its place. So, wouldn't it make more sense to include a photo as a matter of default? Or maybe I am wrong. I would love to hear from a woman. Why are there so many people ( I assume it's the same kind of ratio for men) not sending photos?
 
  Reply With Quote
olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #2  October 13,2009, 6:51pm
olneyjeeps's Avatar

...

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

no

Posts: 1,933

See profile

You will find that the majority of those are "non members" posting for free. Another indicator is if the profile is not mostly filled out. Generally those who pay take the time to fill it out. I only ever received one non pictured match (to best of my memory). I asked her, and she posted. Funny thing is (IMHO) she was not by any means physically unattractive.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #3  October 13,2009, 7:01pm
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Yeah.....wait until you start getting a sense of how many of them never respond in any way.
 
  Reply With Quote
olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #4  October 13,2009, 7:22pm
olneyjeeps's Avatar

...

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

no

Posts: 1,933

See profile

jayjay wrote :
Yeah.....wait until you start getting a sense of how many of them never respond in any way.
Funny, I never had a problem with matches not responding... who says it has nothing to do with looks

(That was funny, now laugh d@mmit!)
Last edited by olneyjeeps; October 13,2009 at 7:25pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
pussinboots is offline pussinboots Post #5  October 13,2009, 7:30pm
pussinboots's Avatar

is EXTREMELY happy that the Beatles are now on YouTube

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

Connecticut

Posts: 510

See profile

There is really no good reason - and there's a number of reasons I've heard - except strictly from personal experience, if a match puts up a photo later, it's roughly 80% unattractive - 20% attractive.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  October 14,2009, 4:11am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

jayjay wrote :
Yeah.....wait until you start getting a sense of how many of them never respond in any way.
olneyjeeps wrote :
Funny, I never had a problem with matches not responding... who says it has nothing to do with looks

(That was funny, now laugh d@mmit!)
If all or even half of you matches responded then you are certainly in an extremely rarefied group.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  October 14,2009, 4:18am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Not having photos posted has been covered many times in the past.

There have been all kinds of reasons given why people don't post photos including those mentioned above about non-paying members.

If I have a match without a photo I will send a Photo Nudge but I don't initiate communication.
 
  Reply With Quote
chawks64 is offline chawks64 Post #8  October 14,2009, 4:58am
chawks64's Avatar

is keeping warm with her Honey.

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Southern Nevada

Posts: 6,735

See profile

Yep, the guys do it, too. And it usually means they're not paying members, so it doesn't matter because they're not going to respond anyway.

I haven't been on eH for more than a year. I'm much happier with not being rejected multiple times every day. But when I was, I would never ask for a picture. Asking shows that you're interested in their profile, so what happens when the picture is something you're just not attracted to in any way? You have to close, and the obvious reason is "You're not attrctive enough". I refuse to do that to someone. So no pic gets you closed right then.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dramatist is offline Dramatist Post #9  October 14,2009, 7:01am
Dramatist's Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

Sacramento, CA

Posts: 10

See profile

Yep, the guys do it, too. And it usually means they're not paying members, so it doesn't matter because they're not going to respond anyway.

 I haven't been on eH for more than a year. I'm much happier with not But when I was, I would never ask for a picture. Asking shows that you're interested in their profile, so what happens when the picture is something you're just not attracted to in any way? You have to close, and the obvious reason is "You're not attrctive enough". I refuse to do that to someone. So no pic gets you closed

Thanks. That is exactly my question. I guess it is best to close right away if there is no photo.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #10  October 14,2009, 2:41pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

To each his own, but here is how I did it:

I communicated without regard to whether a woman posted a photo, based strictly on her profile. I looked at the photos if she had them, and closed a lot of matches for appearance – or the lack thereof, but did not let absence of a photo deter me.

Nor did I ask for them, though a lot of woman volunteered them or added them to her profile during the process. These were the ones who tended to be the least attractive.

Here’s the key finding, there is no correlation I could establish between having a photo and maintaining the standards of appearance-care I expect; therefore it is not a correct assumption that “no photo = unattractive.”

Since I optimized the objective of meeting the largest absolute number of desirable women, do discard someone who could be good based on not having a photo would diminish my success.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Would you "fight" for someone? | Dating | He's just not that into me? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
closing a match bc of the other has no photos posted lalawyergal Using eHarmony 19 January 31,2010 1:46pm
Being judged by profile photos VisualFX Using eHarmony 21 September 22,2009 8:54pm
Uploading Photos Problem SouthernSweetie85 Using eHarmony 4 August 1,2009 6:35am
Question for the girls re: shirtless photos on guys' profiles goldengirl7676 Dating 49 July 31,2009 8:51am
PHOTO association (word association, with photos!) eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Dating 12 June 17,2009 7:41pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0