sigh. how do i know when i'm ready?


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maybeiwasmeant2bsingle is offline maybeiwasmeant2bsingle Post #1  October 12,2009, 12:24pm
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i think maybe i was meant to stay single forever ....

i've been divorced for 6+ years and i'm not jaded or carrying a torch. i've been happily single for the past 3+ years (i spent a couple years getting over my ex, counseling, etc). i've been working on my house, enjoying my friends and family, getting fit, having fun, etc etc etc.

i've done online dating on and off several times - met lots of great guys, but noone 'special' ... so i'd just take a break and try it again several months later ...

this past spring i met a great guy. i mean, a really great guy. just a good good man, attractive, kind, smart, sexy, etc etc. truly, everything i could want mentally, emotionally, physically. similar goals, wants, ethics, etc.

... and i just ended it w/him because he was ready for it to get serious and i wasn't. all i kept thinking is that my single life has been blissfully uncomplicated and the thought of complicating it with a relationship, working at a relationship, having to talk with someone every nite about what to have for dinner, dealing with holidays, etc etc - well it just made me want to run screaming ... and so i did ... four times ... the first three times he waited patiently, understanding, forgiving, and welcomed me back. this fourth time i think he'd probably do the same, but i'm determined to stay gone because i care about him and i know it's not fair to him for me to keep doing this. he's a good good man and deserves better than i'm giving him.

just wondering if anyone else out there has ever felt/acted the same way? and if so, what did you do? just wait it out? assume that when you're truly 'ready' you'll know and the desire to run screaming will cease? find some guts someplace? or am i just a lost cause and destined to die alone?

sincerely,
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