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parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
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I was taken aback when I was asked the following two questions during the guided communication process:

(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

(2) Given the choice of the two men above, with which do you imagine having the best sex with?

In a way, these are good and interesting questions that I've never been asked before during the guided communication process. How would some of you answer these questions, or would you just close the match?
- October 11th, 2009, 10:45 am
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clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
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Number two doesn't correlate with the black and white choice ... so it doesn't matter.

I would answer the question with one of my own:

1) Would you rather have a fair dialog with a woman who would not take advantage of you financially or would you rather me close you out now?

2) Can you imagine how mind blowing the sex was going to be if we had started with fair, respectful dialog? Trust me. Mind blowing.

Close!
- October 11th, 2009, 10:52 am
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Edmondo Edmondo is offline
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I would close it. The first question is OK but the second one is too far out there. They are asking about sex very early so sex is on the front burner for them. I enjoy sex but I have it in my must have / cant stand.
- October 11th, 2009, 10:56 am
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BikerBeagle BikerBeagle is online now
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Heck, I'd close just for asking stupid questions =).

Sounds very passive-aggressive to me. These types of questions are leading you to answer (predictably) in such a way that will benefit him most later. Looking at the questions, there's only one 'right' answer since -most- women would prefer to be on equal standing with their partner, not "cherished" (read "worshipped") in an unhealthy manner. - dur.

If you don't close him, I'd trick him up and answer:

1) I prefer a man who will worship me like the queen that I am ...not just open the door, but buy it for me ...treat me to expensive presents - even on the first date ...

2) ...with absolutely no hope of sex until we are married.

...but, then, I'm funny that way. =)
- October 11th, 2009, 11:16 am
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DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
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clearlyoblique wrote :
Number two doesn't correlate with the black and white choice ... so it doesn't matter.

I would answer the question with one of my own:

1) Would you rather have a fair dialog with a woman who would not take advantage of you financially or would you rather me close you out now?

2) Can you imagine how mind blowing the sex was going to be if we had started with fair, respectful dialog? Trust me. Mind blowing.

Close!
Nice! lol
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- October 11th, 2009, 11:18 am
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CapnCrunch23 CapnCrunch23 is offline
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interesting questions! lol

I am similar to bikerbeagle. I would respond with ridiclous answers..

A. a $150 deposit (non refundable) is required to answer this question..

A: Please provide names and phone numbers of all of your exes. I require sex references.
- October 11th, 2009, 12:16 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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parakeetjordan wrote :
(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

What?!

I have to choose between been cherised by my protecteor OR respected by my equal? Did I miss a meeting sometime? Was this decided by ballot?

I want both.

Usually when it's a multi choice I tick the 'other' box and say I want all of the above. This is probably why I'm not getting any dates.

I don't like people asking me about sex before there's any real people connection. Sexy flirting is one thing (one very good thing in my opinion) but actual sexual 'fact finding' feels intrusive and wrong.
- October 11th, 2009, 12:23 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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Good logic and reply by ClearlyOblique.

Read this type of statement carefully, to pick out the preconceived conclusions. Profiles are full of such opinions portrayed as facts, and it’s a big reason why I find so few people worth meeting.

“(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?”

The premise that a man only cherishes a woman through certain acts and roles is false. Sloppy thinking and lack of information is implied in the question (assuming it isn’t presented as a spoof or debating point.) The premise that a man only respects a woman who is his equal in every way is also false.

Further, both components of the statement taken together present a forced choice – between respect and cherish, when this is not in fact a choice you are likely to ever face. Note that the choice of whether to chose one man who, e.g., pays, or one who expects to share, will happen. But that is not a sign of either respect or cherishing.

As CO stated, there is no reason to equate his sex skills, interest, performance; or your satisfaction wherefrom, with the false choice in Q1.

***

That said, as a spoof or debating point, the question is decent … or as a way to uncover the presence of these false beliefs in his matches. As you will see if you read many topics here, a lot of people make exactly these assumptions.

It’s the intellectual equivalent of Dorky McFly walking around with his pants unzipped.

I think the question really indicates the experiences he has had with women, and he is trying to improve his ability to meet better partners. For this possibility, I would reply.
- October 11th, 2009, 12:36 pm
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I have had guys ask me very sexual questions during the open communication process, before we have even had our first date. Its rude, insulting and wrong. What I get from a man that asks me things like that, is that there is only one thing on their mind.
- October 11th, 2009, 12:37 pm
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parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
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D_Lion wrote :
Good logic and reply by ClearlyOblique.

Read this type of statement carefully, to pick out the preconceived conclusions. Profiles are full of such opinions portrayed as facts, and it’s a big reason why I find so few people worth meeting.

“(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?”

The premise that a man only cherishes a woman through certain acts and roles is false. Sloppy thinking and lack of information is implied in the question (assuming it isn’t presented as a spoof or debating point.) The premise that a man only respects a woman who is his equal in every way is also false.

Further, both components of the statement taken together present a forced choice – between respect and cherish, when this is not in fact a choice you are likely to ever face. Note that the choice of whether to chose one man who, e.g., pays, or one who expects to share, will happen. But that is not a sign of either respect or cherishing.

As CO stated, there is no reason to equate his sex skills, interest, performance; or your satisfaction wherefrom, with the false choice in Q1.

***

That said, as a spoof or debating point, the question is decent … or as a way to uncover the presence of these false beliefs in his matches. As you will see if you read many topics here, a lot of people make exactly these assumptions.

It’s the intellectual equivalent of Dorky McFly walking around with his pants unzipped.

I think the question really indicates the experiences he has had with women, and he is trying to improve his ability to meet better partners. For this possibility, I would reply.
Interesting...if you think I should reply, how would you respond to his questions?

Another interesting fact: He says that his profession is in online media/ business development. Does this translate into online pornography?
- October 11th, 2009, 12:52 pm
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