Sex Question During Guided Communication


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #11  October 11,2009, 12:31pm
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parakeetjordan wrote :
Interesting...if you think I should reply, how would you respond to his questions?

If you are careful and deliberate with screening and meeting matches: I favor answering with a question. You could use a “why” question to try to get from him a thoughtful, personally-referenced comment about his opinion (because opinion is what’s hiding here.)

If you favor a quick-witted, bantering style, and like to meet quickly and make judgments in person: Then, I favor answering with a quip (like Captain Crunch suggested), or a hyperbolic description “nothing makes me feel quite so cherished as a man arriving on a white horse …”


parakeetjordan wrote :
Another interesting fact: He says that his profession is in online media/ business development. Does this translate into online por.nography?


Ha! You never know, but I doubt it (this is not a large percentage of online industry activity, and it tends to be geographically concentrated.)
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #12  October 11,2009, 2:22pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Good logic and reply by ClearlyOblique.
I am often loved for logic alone.








Last edited by clearlyoblique; October 11,2009 at 2:23pm. Reason: it's the alone part that bothers me ... but I'm alliterate that way.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #13  October 11,2009, 3:07pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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parakeetjordan wrote :
I was taken aback when I was asked the following two questions during the guided communication process:

(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

(2) Given the choice of the two men above, with which do you imagine having the best sex with?

In a way, these are good and interesting questions that I've never been asked before during the guided communication process. How would some of you answer these questions, or would you just close the match?
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
 
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saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #14  October 11,2009, 3:13pm
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I don't flirt or get expressive with people I'm matched with, though it's been a long, long time since I did any sort of matching.

In fact, I expressly forbid flirting or suggestive behavior, up-front in my profile.

TRIXIE! Ennoid! Stop it, you hussies.




- Saul
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #15  October 11,2009, 3:28pm
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parakeetjordan wrote :
I was taken aback when I was asked the following two questions during the guided communication process:

(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

(2) Given the choice of the two men above, with which do you imagine having the best sex with?

In a way, these are good and interesting questions that I've never been asked before during the guided communication process. How would some of you answer these questions, or would you just close the match?
#2 - I'd need a lot more information about the man than what the descriptions in question 1 offer. A man may open the door for me because he sees it as good manners. This same man may also see me as his equal in every way. Just because he holds a door open for me or decides to pay for a meal doesn't mean he sees me as less than equal. How many times have I held the door open for him? How many meals have I paid for the two of us? How do I offer him protection?

The descriptions in question one doesn't necessarily mean that either one or the other is better at sex.
 
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clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #16  October 11,2009, 3:28pm
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jayjay wrote :
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
Yeah, it's possible JayJay. But he could just be a big clove of garlic.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #17  October 11,2009, 3:30pm
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jayjay wrote :
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
This is a good point. Before you close, it may be worth asking him if that's what he meant.
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #18  October 11,2009, 3:38pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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saulgoode wrote :
I don't flirt or get expressive with people I'm matched with, though it's been a long, long time since I did any sort of matching.

In fact, I expressly forbid flirting or suggestive behavior, up-front in my profile.

TRIXIE! Ennoid! Stop it, you hussies.




- Saul

Sorry Saul.

Actually you're right, I don't do sexy party flirting on eHarmony, there's no scope for it, and bizarely, it seems inappropriate. These boards are way more flirty than eHarmony.

So in a more considered response to the OP, yeah, I would feel creeped out by anyone asking this type of question at the guided questions phase. From reading more details in their profile I'd make a judgement about whether they were either joking and reply jokingly or for real and close them down.

Is the wedding back on now Saul?
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #19  October 11,2009, 3:45pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
Heck, I'd close just for asking stupid questions =).

Sounds very passive-aggressive to me. These types of questions are leading you to answer (predictably) in such a way that will benefit him most later. Looking at the questions, there's only one 'right' answer since -most- women would prefer to be on equal standing with their partner, not "cherished" (read "worshipped") in an unhealthy manner. - dur.

If you don't close him, I'd trick him up and answer:

1) I prefer a man who will worship me like the queen that I am ...not just open the door, but buy it for me ...treat me to expensive presents - even on the first date ...

2) ...with absolutely no hope of sex until we are married.

...but, then, I'm funny that way. =)


Great answer!
 
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mountainswind is offline mountainswind Post #20  October 11,2009, 3:51pm
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HI THERE I WOULD ASK HIM WHICH ONE WAS HE AND I PICK THE OTHER ONE AND CLOSE HIM OUT. WHO REALY CARES WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY OR FIND OUT FROM YOU. IT MADE YOU UNEASY JUST CLOSE HIM OUT. MOUNTAINSWIND
 
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