Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
D_Lion D_Lion is online now
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 14,318

See profile

parakeetjordan wrote :
Interesting...if you think I should reply, how would you respond to his questions?

If you are careful and deliberate with screening and meeting matches: I favor answering with a question. You could use a “why” question to try to get from him a thoughtful, personally-referenced comment about his opinion (because opinion is what’s hiding here.)

If you favor a quick-witted, bantering style, and like to meet quickly and make judgments in person: Then, I favor answering with a quip (like Captain Crunch suggested), or a hyperbolic description “nothing makes me feel quite so cherished as a man arriving on a white horse …”


parakeetjordan wrote :
Another interesting fact: He says that his profession is in online media/ business development. Does this translate into online por.nography?


Ha! You never know, but I doubt it (this is not a large percentage of online industry activity, and it tends to be geographically concentrated.)
- October 11th, 2009, 01:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
clearlyoblique's Avatar

clearlyoblique is smoking crayola

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,661

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
Good logic and reply by ClearlyOblique.
I am often loved for logic alone.








Last edited by clearlyoblique; October 11th, 2009 at 03:23 pm. Reason: it's the alone part that bothers me ... but I'm alliterate that way.
- October 11th, 2009, 03:22 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

parakeetjordan wrote :
I was taken aback when I was asked the following two questions during the guided communication process:

(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

(2) Given the choice of the two men above, with which do you imagine having the best sex with?

In a way, these are good and interesting questions that I've never been asked before during the guided communication process. How would some of you answer these questions, or would you just close the match?
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
- October 11th, 2009, 04:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
saulgoode saulgoode is offline
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,310

See profile

I don't flirt or get expressive with people I'm matched with, though it's been a long, long time since I did any sort of matching.

In fact, I expressly forbid flirting or suggestive behavior, up-front in my profile.

TRIXIE! Ennoid! Stop it, you hussies.




- Saul
- October 11th, 2009, 04:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
nancymargritangelita nancymargritangelita is offline
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita wish spring would hurry up and get here

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 253

See profile

parakeetjordan wrote :
I was taken aback when I was asked the following two questions during the guided communication process:

(1) Would you rather be cherished by a man who opens the door, pays for things, and is a protector or be respected by a man who is your equal in every way?; and

(2) Given the choice of the two men above, with which do you imagine having the best sex with?

In a way, these are good and interesting questions that I've never been asked before during the guided communication process. How would some of you answer these questions, or would you just close the match?
#2 - I'd need a lot more information about the man than what the descriptions in question 1 offer. A man may open the door for me because he sees it as good manners. This same man may also see me as his equal in every way. Just because he holds a door open for me or decides to pay for a meal doesn't mean he sees me as less than equal. How many times have I held the door open for him? How many meals have I paid for the two of us? How do I offer him protection?

The descriptions in question one doesn't necessarily mean that either one or the other is better at sex.
- October 11th, 2009, 04:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
clearlyoblique's Avatar

clearlyoblique is smoking crayola

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,661

See profile

jayjay wrote :
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
Yeah, it's possible JayJay. But he could just be a big clove of garlic.
- October 11th, 2009, 04:28 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
nancymargritangelita nancymargritangelita is offline
nancymargritangelita's Avatar

nancymargritangelita wish spring would hurry up and get here

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 253

See profile

jayjay wrote :
What I wonder is if this match was trying to ask is a version of the 'gender roles' question. I could be wrong, but I wonder if he's trying to find out if your view of men, women and relationships is that men and women are inherently the same (at least emotionally) and that each should play basically the same emotional role in a relationship. Or, if you view men and women as different emotionally and see the man's role in a relationship as more of a 'protector' or emotional support. I wouldn't answer this with another question...I'd simply define the question the way I want to and answer accordingly.
This is a good point. Before you close, it may be worth asking him if that's what he meant.
- October 11th, 2009, 04:30 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
trixie1868's Avatar

trixie1868 thinks that the 'Flora' by Gucci advert is approaching art. I feel love...

Veteran

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 1,876

See profile

saulgoode wrote :
I don't flirt or get expressive with people I'm matched with, though it's been a long, long time since I did any sort of matching.

In fact, I expressly forbid flirting or suggestive behavior, up-front in my profile.

TRIXIE! Ennoid! Stop it, you hussies.




- Saul

Sorry Saul.

Actually you're right, I don't do sexy party flirting on eHarmony, there's no scope for it, and bizarely, it seems inappropriate. These boards are way more flirty than eHarmony.

So in a more considered response to the OP, yeah, I would feel creeped out by anyone asking this type of question at the guided questions phase. From reading more details in their profile I'd make a judgement about whether they were either joking and reply jokingly or for real and close them down.

Is the wedding back on now Saul?
- October 11th, 2009, 04:38 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
tjlpd tjlpd is offline
tjlpd's Avatar

tjlpd is tired

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 378

See profile

BikerBeagle wrote :
Heck, I'd close just for asking stupid questions =).

Sounds very passive-aggressive to me. These types of questions are leading you to answer (predictably) in such a way that will benefit him most later. Looking at the questions, there's only one 'right' answer since -most- women would prefer to be on equal standing with their partner, not "cherished" (read "worshipped") in an unhealthy manner. - dur.

If you don't close him, I'd trick him up and answer:

1) I prefer a man who will worship me like the queen that I am ...not just open the door, but buy it for me ...treat me to expensive presents - even on the first date ...

2) ...with absolutely no hope of sex until we are married.

...but, then, I'm funny that way. =)


Great answer!
- October 11th, 2009, 04:45 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
mountainswind mountainswind is offline
mountainswind's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 7

See profile

HI THERE I WOULD ASK HIM WHICH ONE WAS HE AND I PICK THE OTHER ONE AND CLOSE HIM OUT. WHO REALY CARES WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY OR FIND OUT FROM YOU. IT MADE YOU UNEASY JUST CLOSE HIM OUT. MOUNTAINSWIND
- October 11th, 2009, 04:51 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 Last »

Bookmarks

« embarassed to say you met on EH? | Array | In Your Opinion: When is it OK to accept a gift? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
eHarmony Profile Workshop Question 10: What Are Five Things You "Can't Live Without"? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 29 January 20th, 2010 11:10 pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop - Question : How Do You Typically Spend Your Leisure Time? eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 32 November 13th, 2009 06:00 pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop Question 11: Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed... eHA_Admin_Lori Using eHarmony 15 October 25th, 2009 09:55 pm
Guided Communication Jacketman Using eHarmony 10 September 12th, 2009 12:18 pm
guided communication nancy2801 Using eHarmony 11 June 14th, 2009 01:38 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ OK .. here's what I've learned: 2- "Want to go watch a movie at my place?" = Lets go have sexy time Naaah....watch a movie means watch a movie...if he said let's MAKE a movie, THEN it's sexy ... ” – PY_2

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“I am talking with a man who had this on his profile. When I asked him in OC he said he was fairly reserved. ???? I still don't get it.” – stillimprovin

Join the “"I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs."” discussion

“newbie, I want to address your issue, but will have to after I get back from the store. My tummy is a rumbling! To the OP and some others out there. I went to my Dr. today and talked about what ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “argued about birth control methods” discussion

“Yes, these questions are odd ... very, very odd.” – suzyblueeyes

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion

“ABSOLUTELY NOT !!!!!! He has been alone for a long time so he is set in their ways so dont try to change him or think you can change him. He as a lot of things he probably do not want to give ... ” – nunayabizness

Join the “When a guy says he's not looking for a relationship...” discussion

“ OP, I would personally not recommend taking the high road in this situation and do this ^^. Under the guise of still wanting to purchase a car, of course. You can do it!” – Nanette

Join the “I fell in love with my car salesman,someone help me” discussion

“Agreed, but I do think the online world makes it easier to think about things excessively.” – StuckOnYou

Join the “Too much thinking going on here...” discussion

“Lol. Glad to hear things are working out. It's a girl thing to over analyze everything over and over and over again. You didn't sleep with him "too soon". Boo on that carp! You slept with him ... ” – SweetKatieA

Join the “Did I make a mistake?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:48 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0