embarassed to say you met on EH?


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DreamingOfJustice is offline DreamingOfJustice Post #21  October 11,2009, 12:48pm
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Good Afternoon Everyone!

I read through the responses, and I agree with you all. Here is a little angle that hasnt been mentioned. Maybe you are being asked where you met your current beau because the person who is asking is looking, themselves. Maybe they are secretly envious a bit..and they are wondering what other venues are available. Sometimes, if they find out you went online and got someone good, they realise it is really an OK place to find a date.

I dated through classified ads for years. Ive had several long term relationships- one was for 3 years, one was for nine, for example. Im not the marrying kind but I love a steady, and it worked for them so- who cares?

Many people asked me (or us, if we were at a social function together) and we'd readily tell people, 'we met through a classified ad in the Washington Post!'

Sure- they were surprised, but then they were like, 'really? that's amazing!' and confess they had many times considered it and rejected the idea. I say treat each query as you will, of course- but dont be shamed. Todays dating is totally different than in the past. Are you happy? is the only qualifying question.
Last edited by DreamingOfJustice; October 11,2009 at 12:51pm.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #22  October 11,2009, 3:28pm
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DreamingOfJustice wrote :
Sure- they were surprised, but then they were like, 'really? that's amazing!' and confess they had many times considered it and rejected the idea. I say treat each query as you will, of course- but dont be shamed. Todays dating is totally different than in the past. Are you happy? is the only qualifying question.
Agreed.

I can see how people were more likely to be surprised when you met through a classified ad.

Internet dating is much more pervasive. It may be a function of my age, but I'm not sure if I ever knew a couple who met through a classified ad. I know lots of couples that met online.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #23  October 11,2009, 3:35pm
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Andrea8823 wrote :
I've been talking to a guy for about 2 weeks now, and we're planning to hangout in a few days. The problem I'm having is that I'm somewhat embarassed to tell my friends that I'm hanging out with a guy I met on eharmony. I'm only 21, so not many people my age understand...because most of them are out meeting people at bars/parties.

Can anyone else relate? And if so, do you have any advice?
eHarmony is my screening agent... I wouldn't go back to the dark ages when I actually had to screen out my own candidates and I'm not going to be embarrassed because other people can't afford that luxury...
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stevex is offline stevex Post #24  October 11,2009, 4:43pm
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One of my ex's sister's thought that it was lame that my ex met me online, and she thought I was lame for the very fact that I was looking for women online. She made it pretty clear very early on that she didn't really like me (without actually coming out and telling me -- the thinking I was lame she told my ex who told me). Anyhow -- I did not care, and I do not care now. I think the internet provides a great tool, we use it to buy our pizza, we use it to shop for our shoes, we use it to research our papers, we use it to chat with grandma, why not use it to meet a partner?

I think you are right, there are a number of people in our age group (I am also 21) that do not understand why we would be online looking for someone and not out in bars or clubs, but the simple answer to that is I like the tool that I have, that doesn't imply that I do not go out or that when I go out I don't flirt; however, I have yet to meet a woman in a bar that matches my style. I don't think that is a bad thing or says anything against me. I think it just speaks for the ability that the internet gives us to seek out a wide range of people and it puts much more diversity into dating.
 
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Andrea8823 is offline Andrea8823 Post #25  October 11,2009, 8:01pm
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stevex wrote :
One of my ex's sister's thought that it was lame that my ex met me online, and she thought I was lame for the very fact that I was looking for women online. She made it pretty clear very early on that she didn't really like me (without actually coming out and telling me -- the thinking I was lame she told my ex who told me). Anyhow -- I did not care, and I do not care now. I think the internet provides a great tool, we use it to buy our pizza, we use it to shop for our shoes, we use it to research our papers, we use it to chat with grandma, why not use it to meet a partner?

I think you are right, there are a number of people in our age group (I am also 21) that do not understand why we would be online looking for someone and not out in bars or clubs, but the simple answer to that is I like the tool that I have, that doesn't imply that I do not go out or that when I go out I don't flirt; however, I have yet to meet a woman in a bar that matches my style. I don't think that is a bad thing or says anything against me. I think it just speaks for the ability that the internet gives us to seek out a wide range of people and it puts much more diversity into dating.
that makes perfect sense thanks everyone for the replies
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #26  October 11,2009, 8:35pm
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I remember feeling a little weird when people asked "How did you meet" They are asking because they are curious or are hoping to meet someone as well.
All I can say is that every time we tell someone we found each other on EH the response has been wonderful.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #27  October 12,2009, 8:30am
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Usually, my girlfriend and I say we just met online and leave it at that. If its close friends of ours, we have no problem saying we met on EH.

But look at it this way. Why does it matter how you met. If you did meet, and you connected and click, and other people are mocking you for how you met. Well, are THEY seeing anyone?

Many times, its just a projection of their own single status.

My suggestion is if you are looking, no one needs to know HOW you're looking. BUT, If you got someone, flaunt how you met them as something successful. Think about if you would have been able to meet this date, or person if it wasn't for the internet.
 
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