How much baggage do you put up with?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #1  October 9,2009, 5:23pm
tjlpd's Avatar

loves a flirt

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 1,151

See profile

When you are older and dating you will have some. Those of us who are divorced have all been through some sort of emotional turmoil. How much do you put up with in a dating partner? Do you feel they must have it all together or are you willing to work with them on issues?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  October 9,2009, 5:25pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,740

See profile

I don’t accept any “baggage.”

I have none, she shouldn’t either.

“Emotional turmoil” associated with divorce ought to be resolved before dating, not foisted onto one’s partners.
 
  Reply With Quote
tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #3  October 9,2009, 5:30pm
tjlpd's Avatar

loves a flirt

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 1,151

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I don’t accept any “baggage.”

I have none, she shouldn’t either.

“Emotional turmoil” associated with divorce ought to be resolved before dating, not foisted onto one’s partners.
I agree and have decided again not to really date. However, the older you get I think the more baggage you have.

I think from reading your posts...you have baggage. You have a feeling that all women are after money.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  October 9,2009, 5:40pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,740

See profile

tjlpd wrote :
I agree and have decided again not to really date. However, the older you get I think the more baggage you have.

I suppose this is true … if you define “baggage” as unresolved emotional turmoil, I do not agree that older people have to have more.

They have more experiences, but they have had also the life experience to deal with their experiences in a healthy way and be prepared to meet new partners, without placing the issues from their past onto those new partners.
 
  Reply With Quote
tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #5  October 9,2009, 5:46pm
tjlpd's Avatar

loves a flirt

Veteran

Joined: Jun 2009

Posts: 1,151

See profile

I am not so sure it is a matter of people being attracted to people who are bad for them. I think it is more or less a issue of that when people get lonely they tend to use less judgment and can easily convince themselves that they are entering into the right relationship when in reality they are not.
This is a post from SteveX from another post. I guess this is what I am scared of. How much are we willing to accept as we do not want to be alone.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  October 9,2009, 6:06pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I don’t accept any “baggage.”

I have none, she shouldn’t either.

“Emotional turmoil” associated with divorce ought to be resolved before dating, not foisted onto one’s partners.
+1
 
  Reply With Quote
gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #7  October 9,2009, 6:07pm
gr8guy's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 992

See profile

I allow some time between relationships to get my head screwed on straight.

Previous one ended in June, meet the new interest for lunch Oct 3. We have a "real date" scheduled for next weekend.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  October 9,2009, 6:15pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

gr8guy wrote :
I allow some time between relationships to get my head screwed on straight.

Previous one ended in June, meet the new interest for lunch Oct 3. We have a "real date" scheduled for next weekend.
It is recommended (in a book) that you allow one week for each month of a relationship before you begin dating. If the relationship was a marriage that ended in divorce then it is adamantly recommended that you wait at least one year after the divorce is final (not when you separated, filed for divorce, etc. AFTER THE DIVORCE IS FINAL)
 
  Reply With Quote
YYsmiley is offline YYsmiley Post #9  October 9,2009, 6:19pm
YYsmiley's Avatar

...Kiss me Mama

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

Toronto/ Canada

Posts: 51

See profile

D_Lion wrote :
I don’t accept any “baggage.”

I have none, she shouldn’t either.

Sounds harsh and too ideal

Baggage = values/ emotions/ feelings/ knowledge accumulated over the time. Mostly refer to the negative things that make oneself feel bad or drag him/her from moving forward.

How could I deny or throw away my bad things happened in my life so far? It is kidding myself.

I rather would learn a way to face with those baggages. Learn how badly I hurt, learn that how ugly I was, remembered the mistakes I made....And, in order to survive in a healthier way and a happy way, I have to forgive and forget.

I'm still trying to face with my ugliness every moment. And, learn how to push a fire extinguisher on it.

m..TOO SERIOUS man, librarybabe please come help these guys/ girls. We need your sweetness please. Thanks.
 
  Reply With Quote
Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #10  October 9,2009, 6:30pm
Diann1950's Avatar

Beginning to check seed catalogs, hope this year will be better for the garden.

Enthusiast

Joined: May 2009

Wichita Ks

Posts: 816

See profile

It's not how much baggage you have, we all have it, but what you do with it. If you have had relationships, good or bad, children, young or grown, a career, any of those things can and will impact your attitudes and actions. You have to get all your priorities in order and proper proportion. So I would expect any man my age to have baggage, it is just how he handles it that makes a difference.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« What went wrong | Dating | Books on how to manipulate your man! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why women give up on 50+ men 6dle899 Dating 34 February 26,2010 6:56am
How important is past history? What does it say about what you attract? justme27 Dating 60 September 30,2009 4:06pm
The "Ex" Files: Get Over Your Baggage eharmonyadvice Relationships 66 September 26,2009 5:59pm
Baggage landstar59 Relationships 27 September 23,2009 1:06pm
Forgiveness - Part of Dispensing with Life's Baggage? DennisWisconsin Atheists, Humorists, and Science 5 August 29,2009 6:22am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:08pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0