How much baggage do you put up with?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #221  October 12,2009, 11:45am
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

DreamingOfAtlantis wrote :
I was just looking up the origin of the phrase and found by Googling for "like a fish needs a bicycle." It turns out the phrase was taken from a philosopher who said, "Man needs God like a fish needs a bicycle." In that context, I think it carries the energy of, "We don't need this at all," unless the philosopher was making some other point other than atheism.

Maybe like a monkey needs a bicycle. Monkeys can use them. But the message I always felt was intended by the original phrase was that even if a woman wanted one, she didn't need and couldn't really make use of one. Maybe that's not how it's meant, but if the intent was to say, "We don't have to have one but can if we want," then the richness of the English language would have allowed millions of other ways to say it.

My issue is not about dependency, it's about semantics. It's a poor way to put it and does carry a negative implication of no need or ability to use. How would women feel if men said, "A man needs a woman like a fish needs a bicycle?" When someone comes up with a phrase that doesn't have a "lack of use" connotation and applies to both sexes, I'll go with that.
I understand what you are saying, but i think you have to also take into account the climate of the times when the phrase originated- when women were denied reproductive rights, a man couldn't be procecuted for r.aping his wife, etc, etc. i also think that sometimes it's hard for men to understand why women get angry enough to say things like this, because (white) men have always had property rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, and they have never felt like a piece of meat walking by a constuction site or been harrassed sexually at work with no recourse.

personally, if the reverse was said, it doesn't bother me one bit. I also don't think that the phrase is offensive now- a woman doesn't need a man to be successful, raise a child, and live happily, if she so chooses.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #222  October 12,2009, 11:48am
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
I understand what you are saying, but i think you have to also take into account the climate of the times when the phrase originated- when women were denied reproductive rights, a man couldn't be procecuted for r.aping his wife, etc, etc. i also think that sometimes it's hard for men to understand why women get angry enough to say things like this, because (white) men have always had property rights, voting rights, reproductive freedom, and they have never felt like a piece of meat walking by a constuction site or been harrassed sexually at work with no recourse.

personally, if the reverse was said, it doesn't bother me one bit. I also don't think that the phrase is offensive now- a woman doesn't need a man to be successful, raise a child, and live happily, if she so chooses.
Scarlett there are still states where a man cannot be convicted of raping his wife. In fact, not long ago, I was in the bathroom and could overhear the conversation of two men outside in the hall who thought there was no one around. They were discussing how it would be better for one of them to just go ahead and marry the girl he was with for this very reason. I wish I had known who his girlfriend was. I am sure he is quite charming and perfect right now and she has no idea what she's getting herself into with him.
 
  Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #223  October 12,2009, 11:58am
clearlyobliqu…'s Avatar

is retiring

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,719

See profile

I mean really, if today, I went cycling without a bra while roaring ... is anyone going to see it as a protest? As a demonstration of my freedom to choose? I tend to think they will roll their eyes and continue driving.

But ... only if I give them the right of way ...
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #224  October 12,2009, 12:28pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

loves the word "queeved..."

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,333

See profile

clearlyoblique wrote :
But you wouldn't steal one from me?

Would you?
CO, I would borrow your purple pen, but I would give it back. I like purple, too. I'm neither an accountant nor an engineer. In my field, it's the engineers that are ... uh problematic.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #225  October 12,2009, 12:33pm
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

nightling wrote :
Scarlett there are still states where a man cannot be convicted of raping his wife. In fact, not long ago, I was in the bathroom and could overhear the conversation of two men outside in the hall who thought there was no one around. They were discussing how it would be better for one of them to just go ahead and marry the girl he was with for this very reason. I wish I had known who his girlfriend was. I am sure he is quite charming and perfect right now and she has no idea what she's getting herself into with him.
i probably would have walked out and told him to his face he was a #$%^& disgusting piece of &%%$# that should die in a fire.

but i'm like that. *shrug
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #226  October 12,2009, 12:38pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
i probably would have walked out and told him to his face he was a #$%^& disgusting piece of &%%$# that should die in a fire.

but i'm like that. *shrug
All by myself in a deserted hallway confront two men larger than me discussing something like that? I don't think so ... I would report them to the authorities, but for what? They would have denied it I am sure. I wish I knew who the girlfriend was though. That has bothered me.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #227  October 12,2009, 1:16pm
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

i probably still would have, but i'm either crazy, stupid, or ba11sy. or mabye all three.

I also confront people who think the salad bar at the grocery store is their own personal buffet.
 
  Reply With Quote
nightling is offline nightling Post #228  October 12,2009, 1:42pm
nightling's Avatar

all I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark.

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2009

Misery

Posts: 6,901

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
i probably still would have, but i'm either crazy, stupid, or ba11sy. or mabye all three.

I also confront people who think the salad bar at the grocery store is their own personal buffet.
I've written about too many people who disappeared to take a risk like that.
 
  Reply With Quote
lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #229  October 12,2009, 2:29pm
lacedwithhope's Avatar

loves the word "queeved..."

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Aug 2008

At the left coast

Posts: 7,333

See profile

clearlyoblique wrote :
... today, I went cycling without a bra while roaring ...
I hope you didn't wear a tank top! LOL
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #230  October 12,2009, 3:18pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,741

See profile

clearlyoblique wrote :
If it helps you to revise it to say "A woman needs a man like a frog needs a bicycle." Sometimes, metaphors are imperfect. You know, like people.

A Frog needs bicycle like a Lady needs a diamond ring.

A bicycle reminds the Frog of something important, like the inevitability of evolution.

And, 23 pages? ... either you lot have too much baggage, or too much caffeine!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« What went wrong | Dating | Books on how to manipulate your man! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why women give up on 50+ men 6dle899 Dating 34 February 26,2010 6:56am
How important is past history? What does it say about what you attract? justme27 Dating 60 September 30,2009 4:06pm
The "Ex" Files: Get Over Your Baggage eharmonyadvice Relationships 66 September 26,2009 5:59pm
Baggage landstar59 Relationships 27 September 23,2009 1:06pm
Forgiveness - Part of Dispensing with Life's Baggage? DennisWisconsin Atheists, Humorists, and Science 5 August 29,2009 6:22am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0