How much baggage do you put up with?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #101  October 10,2009, 4:58pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

funnyengineergal wrote :
To add insult to injury, I shall even respond to that!
What injury did I insult?

funnyengineergal wrote :
No, I do not dance tango, but I will want to learn with a partner someday and dance it at my wedding.
Yeah, me, too. Heck, I'd be happy just to date a dancer. The last women I went out with, now a friend, met me in Colonial Williamsburg and while we were on a covered walkway there, she asked me to teach her to dance. Well, if you know me, there's no need to guess what dance I showed her.

funnyengineergal wrote :
It's a dance that is impossible to learn by oneself.
Any ballroom dance is almost impossible to learn by one's self.

funnyengineergal wrote :
And the girl's job is to basically follow the guy's lead. Chauvinistic? Nah!!

Me
What I find interesting is that women, when they start, say, "I just can't let go and let someone lead, I can't see myself doing that," and after they dance a bit, EVERY woman I've talked to says, "I'm SO glad I don't have to lead!"

But seriously, it varies. In American tango, yes you follow the lead, but a good dancer adds a LOT of style to it, but she also had to know a lot on her own if she wants to look good. (If you're at a beginning level, that's not a big deal.) In Argentine tango, a woman can just follow a man's lead, but that's kind of like just letting him buy you flowers, take you places, and letting him put all the work into the relationship while just saying, "Thank you." If a woman did nothing more than follow my lead, I wouldn't dance with her again. It's a partnership and a good tango dancer will be able to embellish and add a lot to what he does.

It's true, in both Argentine and American, I can take a woman through a lot of moves she doesn't know and I have danced with women that didn't know either and at the end they were amazed at some of the moves they did that they didn't know, but that gets old quickly if she doesn't take the time to learn her part.

I went on with this because as I was thinking about it, I was thinking about how much it relates to baggage: Some of us expect others to help us (like "I want to find my one true love who will make me a whole person"), some put in minimal effort into improving themselves, and others go the extra mile -- and those women and men never have trouble finding a partner at a milonga!
 
  Reply With Quote
roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #102  October 11,2009, 1:37am

One crazy day today

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Taking a walk with you in a blizzard

Posts: 576

See profile

tjlpd wrote :
When you are older and dating you will have some. Those of us who are divorced have all been through some sort of emotional turmoil. How much do you put up with in a dating partner? Do you feel they must have it all together or are you willing to work with them on issues?

If she is a feminist, I'll leave her for the parasites. If she is plastic, materialistic, fake or a female player (professional dater) then adios amiga.

If she is a good person, humble and down to Earth
then I'm willing to have as much patience as it takes. I'm not perfect so why should she be?

The real idiots are those who believe divorced fathers have "baggage" while assuming divorced mothers have none. Are there any intelligent, honest women out there?

I think I give up on dating for now. Women are too much trouble. Maybe in the future; I'll work on me for now.
 
  Reply With Quote
roguewolf1 is offline roguewolf1 Post #103  October 11,2009, 1:39am

One crazy day today

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Taking a walk with you in a blizzard

Posts: 576

See profile

funnyengineergal wrote :
Oh cool!! Wadda ya think? Do South American women carry more or less baggage than American women? Let's generalize!!

Me


South American women are HOT!!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #104  October 11,2009, 3:52am
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

roguewolf1 wrote :
South American women are HOT!!!!!
...and all this time I thought it was Cuban women that "wowed" you!!!!....
 
  Reply With Quote
legend29 is offline legend29 Post #105  October 11,2009, 4:03am
legend29's Avatar

men are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you'll get!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

NY

Posts: 4,600

See profile

cp30 wrote :
I concur. Dating is different. The last guy I more seriously dated was from Chile and we had this problem....I'm seeing it now more as a cultural thing.

Not only am I am American I'm midwestern....more reserved and slower to trust people, but once I do I'm loyal and likely a friend for life.

He of course thought I had issues with trust and allowing myself to just fall into love and live in the moment...

I see this more as a cultural thing now. To me it's a bit off the wall to just fall madly in love with no caution to the wind in a matter of weeks or dates. To me trust is earned and not freely given. To him trust is given until proven untrustworthy.
Yes...some latin men tend to date differently. They know within the first few weeks (or sooner) if they feel the "swoon".

My half-Cuban father said he knew when my mom passed him on the street while she was visiting family in Buffalo that he was going to marry her. He told her on the first date that she would be his wife someday (nowadays talk like that will get a man a swift kick in the shin and never see that woman again!..lol)

Of course my mom being the suspicious westerner that she was made him wait almost nine months before she accepted (she said she thought he was 'too much' in his declaration of love for her which made her feel "weird", like he had to be joking to have fallen so head over heels so quickly)... but that is what some women love about Latin men...they can be very expressive.

If they like you they like you a lot...if they don't they will leave you alone. Very simple to understand.

I prefer a more westerner approach to dating and relationships...because I tend to take my time and don't like to feel rushed into a relationship, and I am not as expressive as I'd like to be. But two of my sisters have stayed true to their latin roots and married adoring, loving, latin men (one of my sisters married her husband in the Dominican Republic...the wedding was beautiful!).

Both couples seem happy, but it is all too stifling for my taste...all that sweeping-me-off-my-feet and adoration creeps me out!.

Adios Mio!
Last edited by legend29; October 11,2009 at 4:08am.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #106  October 11,2009, 7:00am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

legend29 wrote :
He told her on the first date that she would be his wife someday
Of course...that only means something if he wasn't telling that to every first date.
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #107  October 11,2009, 7:22am
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

roguewolf1 wrote :
If she is a feminist, I'll leave her for the parasites. If she is plastic, materialistic, fake or a female player (professional dater) then adios amiga.

If she is a good person, humble and down to Earth
then I'm willing to have as much patience as it takes. I'm not perfect so why should she be?

The real idiots are those who believe divorced fathers have "baggage" while assuming divorced mothers have none. Are there any intelligent, honest women out there?

I think I give up on dating for now. Women are too much trouble. Maybe in the future; I'll work on me for now.
So I see you don't have any bitterness or baggage, do you? Your post (first I've seen by you since I got back) certainly makes you seem very humble and down to Earth.
 
  Reply With Quote
EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #108  October 11,2009, 8:17am
EMTZ's Avatar

has quickly adapted back to her lazy lifestyle

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 2,553

See profile

roguewolf1 wrote :
If she is a feminist, I'll leave her for the parasites. If she is plastic, materialistic, fake or a female player (professional dater) then adios amiga.

If she is a good person, humble and down to Earth
then I'm willing to have as much patience as it takes. I'm not perfect so why should she be?

The real idiots are those who believe divorced fathers have "baggage" while assuming divorced mothers have none. Are there any intelligent, honest women out there?

I think I give up on dating for now. Women are too much trouble. Maybe in the future; I'll work on me for now.
An intelligent woman should know the true, dictionary definition of a feminist. And if this intelligent woman is also honest, she will probably admit she will not accept that women should be granted fewer rights than men.

Finally, an intelligent feminist may actually be the one who leaves you for the parasites by taking over your job if she is more qualified for it, assuming, of course, that she even wants your job.
Last edited by EMTZ; October 11,2009 at 8:20am.
 
  Reply With Quote
stinkerbell is offline stinkerbell Post #109  October 11,2009, 8:31am
stinkerbell's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Posts: 17

See profile

When you're in your late 40s, as I am, everyone has emotional baggage. But there's practical baggage also. I won't consider dating anyone who has children still living at home. That's just too much unneeded drama for me.
 
  Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #110  October 11,2009, 9:11am
clearlyobliqu…'s Avatar

is retiring

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,719

See profile

EMTZ wrote :
An intelligent woman should know the true, dictionary definition of a feminist. And if this intelligent woman is also honest, she will probably admit she will not accept that women should be granted fewer rights than men.

Finally, an intelligent feminist may actually be the one who leaves you for the parasites by taking over your job if she is more qualified for it, assuming, of course, that she even wants your job.
Wow. You have ovaries.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« What went wrong | Dating | Books on how to manipulate your man! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Why women give up on 50+ men 6dle899 Dating 34 February 26,2010 6:56am
How important is past history? What does it say about what you attract? justme27 Dating 60 September 30,2009 4:06pm
The "Ex" Files: Get Over Your Baggage eharmonyadvice Relationships 66 September 26,2009 5:59pm
Baggage landstar59 Relationships 27 September 23,2009 1:06pm
Forgiveness - Part of Dispensing with Life's Baggage? DennisWisconsin Atheists, Humorists, and Science 5 August 29,2009 6:22am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:18pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0