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kahappy kahappy is offline
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wrote :
When I went on my first date, I bought the woman I met a small gift (a box of pink champagne truffles) just as a 'hello and thanks for meeting me' kind of thing,
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I think that is so sweet. It didn't sound over the top at all; just thoughtful, and that's rare.

I had one man that I met from an online site show up for our first meeting (this was a LDR) with 4 dozen roses and a vase to put them in. Now that was a little much.
- October 10th, 2009, 06:40 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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scarlet13 How many Fates turn around in the overtime?

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that's a HUGE arrangement. :-o
- October 10th, 2009, 06:55 pm
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funnyengineergal funnyengineergal is offline
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One guy I dated for a few months and had met randomly online gave me a small keychain with a Turkish eye on our first date (I hate calling them "meetings"). He clipped it onto the passenger's visor in my car (I had given him a ride home) and there's where it stayed until we broke up.

A small token object, even an inexpensive silly thing, is a cute touch. Just make sure that it's going to be well received before handing it over. I'd say wait until at least a few hugs and kisses have been exchanged. Better yet, wait until the third or fourth date.

Let's face it, there will always be time for presents!

Me
- October 10th, 2009, 07:08 pm
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MPdoc68 MPdoc68 is offline
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Gentlemen,

Do NOT buy a woman a "1st date gift". Especially someone you are meeting "blind" for the first time.

It reeks of neediness and desperation!

You have no idea of whether or not you are going to like her or even be attracted to her yet!!!

Gifts are for ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ONLY.
- October 10th, 2009, 10:08 pm
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CeJay CeJay is offline
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MPdoc68 wrote :
Do NOT buy a woman a "1st date gift".
This should be part of a check list after guided communication is over.

There might seem like exceptions especially when you both talked a great deal about X before meeting, and you thought bringing a small token/reminder about X would be a good gesture, simply just refrain.
- October 10th, 2009, 10:38 pm
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melman melman is offline
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funnyengineergal wrote :
A small token object, even an inexpensive silly thing, is a cute touch. Just make sure that it's going to be well received before handing it over.
And how does one know that "it's going to be well received"? By a blind date that you have never interacted with in person?

In addition to the reasons already given for not doing this, a gift is a screaming sign that you're treating an eH meeting as being way, way more important than it really is. It's just a meeting... an introduction. Nothing more.
- October 10th, 2009, 10:53 pm
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Alli824 Alli824 is offline
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What surprises me about this thread are how many people meet without having established a connection on some level. If you'd clicked before meeting, the small token would not be an issue. At the very least you would be assured a good date (not because of the gift but because you invested the time to get to know this person on some level) even if doesn't turn out to be a love connection. Not advocating that a gift is mandatory, just stating it's a nice touch and indicates you've been paying attention to conversations or at least interested. I've yet to have a bad date.
- October 11th, 2009, 07:12 am
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CapnCrunch23 CapnCrunch23 is offline
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melman wrote :
And how does one know that "it's going to be well received"? By a blind date that you have never interacted with in person?

In addition to the reasons already given for not doing this, a gift is a screaming sign that you're treating an eH meeting as being way, way more important than it really is. It's just a meeting... an introduction. Nothing more.
Mel.. you really need to get it out of your head, that every poster is referring to EH when they speak of meetings and whatnot..
- October 11th, 2009, 07:52 am
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Johnnyguitarman Johnnyguitarman is offline
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cloud_9 wrote :
When I went on my first date, I bought the woman I met a small gift (a box of pink champagne truffles) just as a 'hello and thanks for meeting me' kind of thing, however, I could not find a suitable moment to give it to her, so I kept it hidden in my coat pocket and then gave it to her when we met on the second occasion.

What I am wondering though (and more so from a female perspective here, but happy for any other opinions!) is if it is really necessary to give a gift on the first date (or indeed any date!?), and what would your reaction be if someone did give you something (i.e flowers/chocolates) and whether it would put you off them at all?
NOOO! don't do this ever! As said above, by others, gifts on the first date says loud and clear to the girl "I'm desperate, and needy".

You are giving her enough of a gift by sharing yout time with her and buying her a coffee, or a drink. First dates should be low key, informal relaxed - get to know you meetings. As said above save the truffles till you've been dating for a month, or wait till she gets you a gift first.

Give the truffles to your mother! She will appreciate the thought far more.
- October 11th, 2009, 08:11 am
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CapnCrunch23 CapnCrunch23 is offline
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Alli824 wrote :
What surprises me about this thread are how many people meet without having established a connection on some level. If you'd clicked before meeting, the small token would not be an issue. At the very least you would be assured a good date (not because of the gift but because you invested the time to get to know this person on some level) even if doesn't turn out to be a love connection. Not advocating that a gift is mandatory, just stating it's a nice touch and indicates you've been paying attention to conversations or at least interested. I've yet to have a bad date.
Sometimes we are at the mercy of the other person when it comes to establishing a connection prior to a meeting. There are some power daters out there. I've had serveral matches state in their profile or within the first email that they cannot determine if there is connection until they meet a person in IRL. I no longer will meet with a match after one email or without speaking on the phone first. If I am meeting someone, then I want to know if I am infact interested in that person on some level.

While I agree with you that a small-token could be looked at as one is paying attention. On a few occassions I have done a silly little gift for someone I was in contact with for a long period prior to meeting.

Going back to the OP or anyone else.. they shouldn't feel they have to bring a token on every first encounter to get those "bonus" points.
- October 11th, 2009, 08:15 am
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