Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #11  October 9,2009, 12:34pm
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A first-date gift would be one little thing amongst many; by itself I don't see it as + or - really.

I got a single rose as a first-date gift once. He was an ex-coworker who called me up out of the blue one day. I interpreted the rose as "this is not a work thing, it's a date". I liked it!
 
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cloud_9 is offline cloud_9 Post #12  October 9,2009, 1:50pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
This has been brought up before, and I think the majority of women think gifts on a first/date meeting is a negative.
I'm sorry, I forgot to do a thread search before posting...sure I'm not the first, and won't be the last to do so.


Bootsky wrote :
It kind of sent a signal for how thoughtful he was during the rest of the relationship.
Interesting, as I did send her some flowers to her workplace the day after the first date, for which she phoned me up to say thank me for the lovely surprise! Like you say though, each to their own.
Last edited by cloud_9; October 9,2009 at 1:53pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #13  October 9,2009, 2:05pm
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cloud_9 wrote :
When I went on my first date, I bought the woman I met a small gift (a box of pink champagne truffles) just as a 'hello and thanks for meeting me' kind of thing
I would like to know why you thought this was appropriate. That is, why did this idea even enter your head? Did you expect a "thanks for meeting me" gift from her? Why not? Because it would seem creepy and desperate, right? So why are you asking if it is "necessary" for you to bring a gift? I'm really not understanding the thought process here.

wrote :
however, I could not find a suitable moment to give it to her, so I kept it hidden in my coat pocket and then gave it to her when we met on the second occasion.
So your own fear and nervousness bailed you out until the second meeting, where a small gift might be OK. You got lucky.

wrote :
as I did send her some flowers to her workplace the day after the first date, for which she phoned me up to say thank me for the lovely surprise!
Aw drat, so you blew it after all. Flowers after a first meeting? Why? Why? Why? At least she thanked you... but I wouldn't be too sure of her real reaction.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 Post #14  October 9,2009, 2:22pm
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A small gift, something thoughtful is a very nice thing to do. Speaks to a lot about you. It's a classy gesture and so rare these days. It signals you're thoughtful with manners, and a classy woman will appreciate you. Even if it doesn't work out.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #15  October 9,2009, 2:34pm
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Alli824 wrote :
A small gift, something thoughtful is a very nice thing to do. Speaks to a lot about you. It's a classy gesture and so rare these days. It signals you're thoughtful with manners, and a classy woman will appreciate you. Even if it doesn't work out.
Oh...do you give gifts to a guy on your first date? "A small gift, something thoughtful is a very nice thing to do. Speaks to a lot about you. It's a classy gesture and so rare these days. It signals you're thoughtful with manners and a classy man will appreciate you. Even if it doesn't work out."
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #16  October 9,2009, 3:02pm

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This is my take on it..

If there is a high level of attraction and interest then yes most women are going to think the small gift-token is sweet and thoughtful.. but when there is no attraction and interest then some women are going to think this is creepy.

imo I feel most of the time this is going to fail.
here is another thread to read..

she said she wants to go out again but we havent made plans, is she seeing someone else?

A guy sent flowers to a girl after a second date. He looked up her work address online.. I doubt it.. She thought he was sweet and thoughful!
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 9,2009 at 3:18pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #17  October 9,2009, 3:09pm
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Alli824 wrote :
A small gift, something thoughtful is a very nice thing to do.
OK, right back at you. Do you bring gifts to a first meeting? Why not? Because it's just odd, that's why not.

This isn't high-level international diplomacy, it's just the almost-a-blind-date that is an eH first meeting.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 Post #18  October 10,2009, 1:17pm
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To the gentlemen asking, yes I have upon occasion brought a "small" gift to a first date. I believe the operative word is being "thoughtful."
If we share a similar interests say books, films, working out... I've brought a token along and vice versa. Maybe the difference as CaptCrunch 23 so aptly put it is there's usually a high level of interest on both parts before we meet. Viva la difference...
 
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outdoorjeanie is offline outdoorjeanie Post #19  October 10,2009, 2:50pm
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I had small tokens presented to me at 3 first time meetings. Each gesture was appreciated by myself. I thought that it did not make the guy look desperate, but rather, that he had enjoyed the online/phone time with me enough for him to take the time for small gesture. What was the item? A small box of chocolates that we shared after some great conversation. If the item cost a bunch, I would be uncomfortable. This was just plain nice! (It felt like old-fashioned courting.)
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #20  October 10,2009, 4:27pm
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cloud_9 wrote :
I'm sorry, I forgot to do a thread search before posting...sure I'm not the first, and won't be the last to do so.
hey, no worries. It doesn't bother me in the least when newbies post new threads about old topics.


anyway, I don't want a gift, even if it's a small item- there needs to be absolutely no reminder if the date went bad.
 
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