Actually those discussions have come up on these boards. Especially the height thing as it's a real sore spot with shorter men...especially since there is literally nothing they can do (short of very harmful and expensive surgery...they do it in China much more than the U.S.) to increase their height. That and most "weight" threads become "height vs. weight" threads in short (no pun intended) order.

"Instant attraction" is not gender specific. Let's be honest, ladies, are you going to smile at a guy you don't feel any attraction for and hope he comes over to talk to you? Probably not. Unless you're introduced or some other factor intervenes you will never know if that guy over there is "the one" unless you give him a green light to approach...and that green light is based pretty much entirely on his appearance. Contrary to popular belief the vast majority of men (including players!) will not bother approaching random women they're interested in unless they receive some sort of interest from her.

I would agree the question is meaningless because it ignores context; there's a lot more to attraction besides BMI. For instance in answer to "what if a girl said she was 30 pounds overweight?" I would wait to see her first. Not because I'm not a shallow guy but because I have no idea what her definition of "30 pounds overweight" is. Considering the average female believes that the average male is attracted to a less-than-average size (say that three times fast) I tend to be pretty skeptical.

I wouldn't, however, say that the question is hurtful simply because I don't see being turned down because someone isn't attracted to you is a mean thing. I would never expect a girl to date me if she were not attracted to me. Why would it be hurtful in reverse?

This reminds me of an adage I once heard advising women on how to avoid misunderstanding a guy. "If a man tells you something that can be taken two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."

Sometimes things aren't meant to be hurtful. They just are the way they are. How you interpret it is up to you.

Jacquesne