what is the heaviest you will accept


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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #61  October 11,2009, 5:53pm
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is happy with the way things are going!

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scarlet13 wrote :
I don't think that attractiveness can be wholly based on a picure alone, just like chemistry is sometimes apparent online but not in RL.

or, let's say you meet a woman online and never see her picture, but you get along great and she tells you she's 30 lbs overweight. closing her at this point would be shallow, because what if she's a plus size model, perfectly proportional, drop dead gorgeous without an ounce of cellulite?

just a thought. it's one of the bad things about online dating.
I have proceeded to meeting IRL with two women who were very nice to communicate with but not attractive in their photos.

There was no chemistry with either woman.

Was it better for me to have proceeded to meeting them just to avoid being shallow?

Or did I unfairly get their hopes up?
 
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traceyrae is offline traceyrae Post #62  October 11,2009, 6:13pm
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WOW! Seems I raised quite a fuss with my post.

Sure, attraction is in part physical, but if a guy is gorgeous and can barely speak in sentences I don't care to pursue it.

The issue is this...If you don't like heavy woman, fine, don't date one. But how often have you seen conversations on "What is the shortest man you would date?" or "Would you date a man with a hairy chest?" First and foremost, these things are incidental to the person they are. Secondly, it is just plain mean and hurtful to post conversations that completely count people out because of a physical trait. There is much more to people than the physical. While I realize men go for instant attraction, my whole point was if you do that, you could be missing out on the person who may be "the one."
 
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Jacquesne is offline Jacquesne Post #63  October 11,2009, 6:30pm
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knows the answer...42

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Actually those discussions have come up on these boards. Especially the height thing as it's a real sore spot with shorter men...especially since there is literally nothing they can do (short of very harmful and expensive surgery...they do it in China much more than the U.S.) to increase their height. That and most "weight" threads become "height vs. weight" threads in short (no pun intended) order.

"Instant attraction" is not gender specific. Let's be honest, ladies, are you going to smile at a guy you don't feel any attraction for and hope he comes over to talk to you? Probably not. Unless you're introduced or some other factor intervenes you will never know if that guy over there is "the one" unless you give him a green light to approach...and that green light is based pretty much entirely on his appearance. Contrary to popular belief the vast majority of men (including players!) will not bother approaching random women they're interested in unless they receive some sort of interest from her.

I would agree the question is meaningless because it ignores context; there's a lot more to attraction besides BMI. For instance in answer to "what if a girl said she was 30 pounds overweight?" I would wait to see her first. Not because I'm not a shallow guy but because I have no idea what her definition of "30 pounds overweight" is. Considering the average female believes that the average male is attracted to a less-than-average size (say that three times fast) I tend to be pretty skeptical.

I wouldn't, however, say that the question is hurtful simply because I don't see being turned down because someone isn't attracted to you is a mean thing. I would never expect a girl to date me if she were not attracted to me. Why would it be hurtful in reverse?

This reminds me of an adage I once heard advising women on how to avoid misunderstanding a guy. "If a man tells you something that can be taken two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."

Sometimes things aren't meant to be hurtful. They just are the way they are. How you interpret it is up to you.

Jacquesne
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #64  October 11,2009, 6:43pm
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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"What is the heaviest I will accept?" Darn....I thought this thread was going to be about foreign accents. I love a good, heavy accent.
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #65  October 11,2009, 11:05pm
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when it rain its pours.... menzzzz

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For those that are physically fit and NOT overweight:
whewww good thing I am not overweight so I don't feel bad having already posted here. I'd hate to speak outta turn.
 
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k374 is offline k374 Post #66  October 11,2009, 11:12pm
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traceyrae wrote :
don't date one. But how often have you seen conversations on "What is the shortest man you would date?" or "Would you date a man with a hairy chest?"
Tracey, comparing short and fat is like comparing apples and oranges, it isn't the same thing. Being Fat is a choice, being Short is NOT a choice. Being Fat is unhealthy, being Short is NOT unhealthy. Being Fat implies all sorts of negative lifestyle choices and can also point to other problems that are the source of the addiction to food and the disregard for one's well being...being short implies none of those things. BIG DIFFERENCE!
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #67  October 11,2009, 11:17pm
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I would agree the question is meaningless because it ignores context; there's a lot more to attraction besides BMI. For instance in answer to "what if a girl said she was 30 pounds overweight?" I would wait to see her first.

Well for what it is worth this mutant thanks you. :-)
What little height I have is in my torso and not my legs. I wear a size 9 shoe and i am 5 ' 3! The third strike to top it all off is this peskie lil thing called muscle mass gets me into all sorts of trouble when I try doing a BMI chart. So just remember.....mutants need love too.
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #68  October 11,2009, 11:24pm
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Being Fat implies all sorts of negative lifestyle choices

Stop right there....
So if you were a smoker who had the nads to stop but as a result gained some weight...what does that make them?
Where does A healthy lifestyle choice but with an undesirable side effect fit into to your black and white world??
 
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jmavisnj is offline jmavisnj Post #69  October 11,2009, 11:47pm
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It's not the weight really, it's how you carry it and how you use it. I prefer a soft woman but excessive is not a pound limit. A 150# woman could look so beautiful but another may not carry it well. Also attitude is a big thing. A bigger woman who wears a sexy yet appropriate outfit would look great. But if it's all strings, it may not look as good. Everyone has their own preference and limit.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #70  October 12,2009, 12:05am
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I prefer that I can pick up my partner. Kinda sensual that. But I can life a fair amount.
 
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