Following up after a first date...


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stevex is offline stevex Post #31  October 9,2009, 4:27pm
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I don't think it would hurt for you to call him if you are really interested. If he has gotten really busy than perhaps he will be joyous that you took the time to call him.
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #32  October 10,2009, 1:28pm
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MoneyHoney wrote :
First of all, even if he does agree to see you out, do you want to spend your time with someone who is "not that into you?" This has never panned out in the long run for me. Yes, he may meet up with you, but it will not result in a LTR where he is gaga over you.
If we wound up just being friends, I would have no complaints. I tend to approach meeting someone new with as few expectations as possible. If I enjoy their company, I want to get to know them better (whether we ultimately wind up dating or not). That's part of the reason why I kept the email so low pressure.

The way I see it, emailing him has three potential results. He can (1) accept my offer, (2) make a counter-offer, or (3) explicitly reject my offer / ignore the email. I assume he will elect option (3), so I'm not going to give the matter another thought unless I hear back from him. However, it does give me peace of mind that I've clarified any mixed signals I may have accidentally sent while on our date.

As for the happy hour itself, I'll just plan on bringing a few friends and having a good time with them whether he shows up or not.
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #33  October 10,2009, 1:47pm
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Sent my email...he got back to me in less than 15 minutes saying he would like to come to the happy hour! :-D
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #34  October 10,2009, 2:25pm
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Goosh, you asked them out firts time. They can call you if they're interested.
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #35  October 10,2009, 3:10pm
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Fleuellen wrote :
Goosh, you asked them out firts time. They can call you if they're interested.
He was actually the one who initially suggested meeting and the one who arranged the location for the date. In a very uncharacteristic move on my part, I was the one who sent the follow-up email after the first date. Luckily it seems to have paid off!
 
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Diann1950 is offline Diann1950 Post #36  October 10,2009, 3:35pm
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I always send a thank you email when I get home. If I am not interested it is just that, if interested I will let him know I had a good time. Sometimes it is just a good thing to be polite even if you never see him again.
 
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CeJay is offline CeJay Post #37  October 10,2009, 3:54pm
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melman wrote :
From my own experiences, and from reading these forums for a while, I think you're totally off-base here.
I tend to agree. As a rule I never plan the next date while on the first. Only in cases of conversation like, "I like X, you like X, great.. lets do X together."


Otherwise I'm glad he answered you back! As a guy what usually works for elicting a response is that follow up email or text that says you had a good time. It gives us a nice segway to ask if you'd like to do something else.
 
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Aiya is offline Aiya Post #38  October 11,2009, 3:11am
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melman wrote :
Do you wonder if this is one reason why you get no second dates? "Drive carefully and call me when you get home" is something my mom says to me.
I disagree. I find a guy very attractive when he is a caring person who makes sure I get home safe.

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