Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
tweet37's Avatar

tweet37 has all the tools and can........satisfy

Virtuoso

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 3,693

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you and he were interested in meeting again then you should have set up a second date at the end of the first.
Daphnie wrote :
I certainly wish this could be true. But my date, whom I have been seeing for over a month, never sets up the next date at the end of the previous one. Instead, he always calls in the following day to ask me out. Can't wrap my brain around it.
Once you've been dating over a month it's not likely for one to simply 'poof'. Most of the 'What happened?' threads here are about the1st date then nothing (which I am equally guilty of). I only set up the next date during an existing date for the first one or two dates.

Watch.....next there'll be a thread from Daphne "What happened, everything was great for two months then 'poof' !"
- October 9th, 2009, 09:45 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#21   Reply With Quote
Aaron1211's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

If I'm on a date and want to go out again I make sure to talk about it before the date is over. Even if we don't lock down a specific activity its nice to figure out a day. I also get a better read if she is on the same page.
- October 9th, 2009, 10:00 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#22   Reply With Quote
ceh8tva's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 21

See profile

The general consensus seems to be that if a guy is interested, he will either: (1) set up another date by the end of the first; or, (2) follow up within three days (though most likely by the next day).

Does anyone (except for penpen2) lend any creedence to (or subscribe to) the "play it cool for a few days, then call" approach?

One of my guy friends told me that he always keeps the girl waiting a few days so that (1) she knows he has a life and priorities beyond her, and (2) her anticipation has time to build. It's worked out pretty successfully for him, but he's also one of the only guys I know who takes that approach so I don't think of him as particularly representative.
- October 9th, 2009, 10:28 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#23   Reply With Quote
tweet37's Avatar

tweet37 has all the tools and can........satisfy

Virtuoso

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 3,693

See profile

ceh8tva wrote :
One of my guy friends told me that he always keeps the girl waiting a few days so that (1) she knows he has a life and priorities beyond her, and (2) her anticipation has time to build. It's worked out pretty successfully for him, but he's also one of the only guys I know who takes that approach so I don't think of him as particularly representative.
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.
- October 9th, 2009, 10:39 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#24   Reply With Quote
Daphnie's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 79

See profile

tweet37 wrote :
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.


Second that. I never get the game part. Is it really this fun? Whom are you trying to fool, seriously?
- October 9th, 2009, 10:46 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#25   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

ceh8tva's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Dec 2008

Posts: 21

See profile

tweet37 wrote :
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.
Definitely my preferred approach. I like getting a simple yea or nay early on - I'm going to be fine with either one, but the uncertainty kills me! I understand TheThinker's point, but I figure that if I go out of my way to lob a guy an easy opportunity, it's up to him to serve the ball back. If my first attempt goes unanswered, I usually figure it's wasted energy to send a chaser.
- October 9th, 2009, 10:56 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#26   Reply With Quote
TheThinker's Avatar

TheThinker is always checking the back seat for zombies

Pacesetter

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 492

See profile

ceh8tva wrote :
but the uncertainty kills me!
Keep doing what you're doing, and you'll keep getting what you're getting.
- October 9th, 2009, 02:35 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#27   Reply With Quote
smashingovi's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 25

See profile

[quote=tweet37;764271]Once you've been dating over a month it's not likely for one to simply 'poof'. Most of the 'What happened?' threads here are about the1st date then nothing (which I am equally guilty of). I only set up the next date during an existing date for the first one or two dates.

I am not Daphne but I was lucky enough to experience an eharmony match poofing on me after 3 months. That stings a little and am not quite sure if I am over that one yet.
- October 9th, 2009, 04:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#28   Reply With Quote
MoneyHoney's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 76

See profile

Most guys that are interested will set up the next date while on the current date. Not all, but most. If they don't, I would estimate you have about a 50/50 chance of him asking you out again, with the likelihood going down with each passing day. I would advise against sending him an email suggesting a place where he can "run into" you. First of all, even if he does agree to see you out, do you want to spend your time with someone who is "not that into you?" This has never panned out in the long run for me. Yes, he may meet up with you, but it will not result in a LTR where he is gaga over you. Just kind of will draw out the sting of being rejected. Secondly, go solo to your event and find someone new who will truly think you are fabulous. You won't be in the correct flirting frame of mind if you are half-expecting this other man to show up. Good luck!
- October 9th, 2009, 04:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#29   Reply With Quote
melman's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 1,442

See profile

MoneyHoney wrote :
Most guys that are interested will set up the next date while on the current date. Not all, but most.
From my own experiences, and from reading these forums for a while, I think you're totally off-base here.
- October 9th, 2009, 04:43 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#30   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How much physical contact is appropriate for a first date? JustSomeGuy12 Dating 148 February 6th, 2010 06:48 pm
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 58 January 20th, 2010 12:03 pm
Second date, No Kiss: is this guy even interested in me? bronte71 Dating 44 December 11th, 2009 05:13 pm
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 13th, 2009 12:29 am
Fear of Date? passat1 Dating 8 August 16th, 2009 08:52 am

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Agreed, but I do think the online world makes it easier to think about things excessively.” – StuckOnYou

Join the “Too much thinking going on here...” discussion

“Lol. Glad to hear things are working out. It's a girl thing to over analyze everything over and over and over again. You didn't sleep with him "too soon". Boo on that carp! You slept with him ... ” – SweetKatieA

Join the “Did I make a mistake?” discussion

“I see the man meeting woman or vice versa scenario, but usually noone has the courage to go any further....just like online...and if they do, you have a really nervous conversation..or at least one ... ” – beautifulgenius

Join the “What lessons have you learned from online dating?” discussion

“I don't know. I think in many cases you'd be right but I'm very uncomfortable at meeting someone new and having to decide very early on whether it was a relationship or not. I'd tend to go for ... ” – jussmile

Join the “When a guy says he's not looking for a relationship...” discussion

“I met a guy online in the beginning of January and we totally hit it off! We had a lot in common, I found out he grew up in my town and knew of my family and our family restaurant, we had a lot of ... ” – rubyred007

Join the “Did I screw it up? Am I asking for too much?” discussion

“I agree with Nanette that more of a dialog would have been in order. And to answer your specific question, yes, the questions were odd. Not the sort of things I'd ask in the course of a casual ... ” – StuckOnYou

Join the “Are these questions odd” discussion

“It happens to all of us... it happened to me. The main thing to remember is that your happiness is your responsibility. Do not give that power to anyone else. It's okay to always be who you are... ... ” – jussmile

Join the “She broke my heart, but is it my fault?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:30 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0