Following up after a first date...


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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #21  October 9,2009, 8:45am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
If you and he were interested in meeting again then you should have set up a second date at the end of the first.
Daphnie wrote :
I certainly wish this could be true. But my date, whom I have been seeing for over a month, never sets up the next date at the end of the previous one. Instead, he always calls in the following day to ask me out. Can't wrap my brain around it.
Once you've been dating over a month it's not likely for one to simply 'poof'. Most of the 'What happened?' threads here are about the1st date then nothing (which I am equally guilty of). I only set up the next date during an existing date for the first one or two dates.

Watch.....next there'll be a thread from Daphne "What happened, everything was great for two months then 'poof' !"
 
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Aaron1211 is offline Aaron1211 Post #22  October 9,2009, 9:00am
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If I'm on a date and want to go out again I make sure to talk about it before the date is over. Even if we don't lock down a specific activity its nice to figure out a day. I also get a better read if she is on the same page.
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #23  October 9,2009, 9:28am
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The general consensus seems to be that if a guy is interested, he will either: (1) set up another date by the end of the first; or, (2) follow up within three days (though most likely by the next day).

Does anyone (except for penpen2) lend any creedence to (or subscribe to) the "play it cool for a few days, then call" approach?

One of my guy friends told me that he always keeps the girl waiting a few days so that (1) she knows he has a life and priorities beyond her, and (2) her anticipation has time to build. It's worked out pretty successfully for him, but he's also one of the only guys I know who takes that approach so I don't think of him as particularly representative.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #24  October 9,2009, 9:39am
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ceh8tva wrote :
One of my guy friends told me that he always keeps the girl waiting a few days so that (1) she knows he has a life and priorities beyond her, and (2) her anticipation has time to build. It's worked out pretty successfully for him, but he's also one of the only guys I know who takes that approach so I don't think of him as particularly representative.
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.
 
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Daphnie is offline Daphnie Post #25  October 9,2009, 9:46am
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tweet37 wrote :
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.


Second that. I never get the game part. Is it really this fun? Whom are you trying to fool, seriously?
 
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ceh8tva is offline ceh8tva Post #26  October 9,2009, 9:56am
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tweet37 wrote :
I like it when other guys play those head games. It eliminates my competition. When I'm interested, the girl knows it and if the interest is mutual, the game player loses.
Definitely my preferred approach. I like getting a simple yea or nay early on - I'm going to be fine with either one, but the uncertainty kills me! I understand TheThinker's point, but I figure that if I go out of my way to lob a guy an easy opportunity, it's up to him to serve the ball back. If my first attempt goes unanswered, I usually figure it's wasted energy to send a chaser.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #27  October 9,2009, 1:35pm
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ceh8tva wrote :
but the uncertainty kills me!
Keep doing what you're doing, and you'll keep getting what you're getting.
 
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smashingovi is offline smashingovi Post #28  October 9,2009, 3:15pm
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[quote=tweet37;764271]Once you've been dating over a month it's not likely for one to simply 'poof'. Most of the 'What happened?' threads here are about the1st date then nothing (which I am equally guilty of). I only set up the next date during an existing date for the first one or two dates.

I am not Daphne but I was lucky enough to experience an eharmony match poofing on me after 3 months. That stings a little and am not quite sure if I am over that one yet.
 
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MoneyHoney is offline MoneyHoney Post #29  October 9,2009, 3:40pm
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Most guys that are interested will set up the next date while on the current date. Not all, but most. If they don't, I would estimate you have about a 50/50 chance of him asking you out again, with the likelihood going down with each passing day. I would advise against sending him an email suggesting a place where he can "run into" you. First of all, even if he does agree to see you out, do you want to spend your time with someone who is "not that into you?" This has never panned out in the long run for me. Yes, he may meet up with you, but it will not result in a LTR where he is gaga over you. Just kind of will draw out the sting of being rejected. Secondly, go solo to your event and find someone new who will truly think you are fabulous. You won't be in the correct flirting frame of mind if you are half-expecting this other man to show up. Good luck!
 
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melman is offline melman Post #30  October 9,2009, 3:43pm
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MoneyHoney wrote :
Most guys that are interested will set up the next date while on the current date. Not all, but most.
From my own experiences, and from reading these forums for a while, I think you're totally off-base here.
 
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