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gr8guy gr8guy is offline
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Seeing as how I am flying solo this weekend because the new interest really is visiting her parents this weekend I'd thought I'd share my thoughts.

Work: Coworkers are a bad idea, friends and relatives of coworkers a little less of a bad idea.

Supermarket: Mostly soccer moms before dinner and cougars on Friday and Saturday night. Early Sunday works best for me.

Church: The pious sit up front, the sinners in the back, us regular folk in the middle. Depending on how long it's been I'll sit more to the back.

Meetup.com: All the other guys have to ruin things by trying to hit on the new members that are women. I've never seen any of the cuties at any of the events. It's always the same people.

Grad classes: Expensive depending on your major, slim pickin's also depending on your major, allows you to check them out for several weeks before making your move.
- October 9th, 2009, 06:50 pm
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melman melman is offline
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grlnxtdr wrote :
If I saw the same guy day after day at the gym, and we manage to strike up a conversation
But does that ever happen at the gym or at the bookstore or the grocery store? No, because the intended purpose of these places is not to meet people. We all know the pathetic loser who prowls these places inappropriately hitting on people, till the manager taps them on the shoulder and shows them the door.

If you want to meet people, you have to find activities where "meeting people" is part of the activity. Such as clubs or Meetup groups.
Last edited by melman; October 9th, 2009 at 06:54 pm.
- October 9th, 2009, 06:51 pm
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melman melman is offline
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bwr wrote :
I am very disappointed by the lack of friendly people in general in my area. I have been told by friends that my obesity is hurting me there. But that aside, people just are not very friendly in my area and would rather be alone.

Even the people in the small town in New Mexico where I previosly lived were more friendly that they are in Phoenix.
There's nothing wrong with Phoenix. I've lived all over the country and it's no different anywhere else.

Your perception that your weight prevents you from simply meeting people seems like a big chip on your shoulder that I think you need to work on.
- October 9th, 2009, 06:53 pm
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grlnxtdr grlnxtdr is offline
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bwr wrote :
Hmm, I have found what you say to be quite the opposite. Every woman I strike up a conversation up with ignore me and act like they are want to meet noone. I often see women out walking or hiking with theier headphones on.

Its refreshing to hear that there are some women out there who dont mind being approached in public.I just always seem to run into the opposite.

I am shy at hitting on or flirting with strange women, but I am friendly and outgoing and am always striking up conversations with people. Yet most of the women I start talking to ignore me and give me that "You think you can get me?" look. I dont think there is anything awkward or intrusive with my approach.

Waitresses and store clerks are friendly with me, but they have to be to get tips and get business and keep their jobs. QAnd beyond talking I am not all that interesting in dating a waitress who is 15 years younger than me.

I am just being my friendly self, I am not asking them to marry me. Geez!
Blame it on Ted Bundy and other serial killers. Women for the most part do not like to get approached by stangers. We have our guard up if approached when we are alone. It is not personal, but one bad serial killer apple ruins it for the bunch. I am not calling you or any other man on this post a serial killer, but the fact is that women have to be aware of safety when alone. I would rather not be friendly and miss the oppportunity to meet a nice guy, then be friendly, get dragged in a van, get killed and buried in the desert, all because I trusted a man I did not know. I may be being a tad dramatic, but that is what goes through my head when a guy approaches me when I am alone. Yes, Ted ruined it for the nice guys in this world,,,sorry.
- October 9th, 2009, 06:59 pm
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grlnxtdr grlnxtdr is offline
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melman wrote :
But does that ever happen at the gym or at the bookstore or the grocery store? No, because the intended purpose of these places is not to meet people. We all know the pathetic loser who prowls these places inappropriately hitting on people, till the manager taps them on the shoulder and shows them the door.

If you want to meet people, you have to find activities where "meeting people" is part of the activity. Such as clubs or Meetup groups.
My point exactly. I think there is huge differance in being friendly with a clerk, waiter, smiling at a guy in the gym, and trying to date them. I think the poster is trying to date, not simply meet. I can meet Jonny Dep if I really try, but is doesn't mean we will be dating anytime soon (at least in anyone elses reality,a girl can dream.)
- October 9th, 2009, 07:07 pm
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melman wrote :
The average American does not live in San Francisco or New York. And I'm not even sure what an Acela is. The average American drives everywhere.

And I think I'm doing you a favor by asking you to keep political comments out of this thread. There must be a forum or group for that kind of stuff.
To clarify, the average Australian drive most places. And if you think America is spread out? Anyway, I'm quite confident that the "average American" (about 80% of you) live in cities and urban areas. Compared with 90% here. So not a lot of difference. fficeffice" />>>
> >
There certainly seemed to be an awful lot of trains, trams and buses. The new light transit system servicing the Mall of America and Twin cities must be one of the most advanced in the World. >>
> >
And The Acela Express would have to be the most famous Amtrak service, which runs between Boston, NY and Washington (I gather these aren’t particularly obscure places). >>
>>
I once attend a reception for former VP Dick Chaney. He addressed our former servicemen’s association for the anniversary of the Battle of Coral Sea (where the USN thwarted a Japanese attack on Australia) He seemed a real nice fella. And I just made a complementary remark about your current president and you seem to take offence. >>
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I am sensing that the issue is not that it is anymore difficult meeting folk in the USA. It is just you! Lighten up. Listen to folk, talk with them, share your thoughts, feelings. And leave your SUV at home one in a while. Try cycling. Not real hard.>>
- October 9th, 2009, 07:10 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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grlnxtdr wrote :
My point exactly. I think there is huge differance in being friendly with a clerk, waiter, smiling at a guy in the gym, and trying to date them. I think the poster is trying to date, not simply meet. I can meet Jonny Dep if I really try, but is doesn't mean we will be dating anytime soon (at least in anyone elses reality,a girl can dream.)
clerk (pass, too young)
waiterress (well bar staff, but yes, especilly when travelling)
girl at gym (very slender but I then found out she was an "air head"
tram (goosh, too easy)
bike trail (I inadetently ran her off trail)
night class (1st wife, eyes roll over with nestyigia)
E-H. (Well yes; this eveing)
bars (not since I as younger)
art gallery (tick)
ferry (yes)
son's scout camp (first aider)
not work, but conference (tick)
fresh food market (I wanted to grow old with her, but faded away)

Really, these are just places where people are; young old singles couples, gay straight, disinterested, or open to possibilities. It is just anywhere other people are. Which is basically almost everywhere. But no. You don't talk with folk with a purpose of "picking up Yuk! You just have commom or garden human interactions, and occasionally some mutual interest might gell. Ie, in a book shop you might talk about, I don't know, books that you're reading. I have one old army buddy that things seem to gell will him everywhere ... even in the midst of field ex. Not so common for me.
- October 9th, 2009, 08:21 pm
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bwr bwr is offline
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melman wrote :
There's nothing wrong with Phoenix. I've lived all over the country and it's no different anywhere else.

Your perception that your weight prevents you from simply meeting people seems like a big chip on your shoulder that I think you need to work on.
There is no chip on my shoulder, but people think there is something wrong with me just because I am not normal weight. Why cant people just be friendly? Obese women, short women, tall women, etc. dont prevent me from saying hi and chatting.
- October 9th, 2009, 08:36 pm
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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grlnxtdr wrote :
It sounds as if you live in a populated area where you must have interaction with people. I myself live in a populated area and can meet a lot of people, however, just because I meet them, does not mean they are relationship material. I think it is inappropriate to ask people you have just met at the bank, grocery store, etc their marital status or if they are dating anyone. If someone approached me in a store, and asked me if I was single I would wonder what the alterior motive is. I can understand if you go to the same coffee shop day after day and start to develope a friendship with the clerk, but to just ask a random stranger out is a huge risk.
Some people think that if a place attracts a lot of attractive people(such as a gym,) then it must be a good place to meet them, but they are assuming that the person wants to get met. I prefer to have alone time at the gym and not get approached by men. If I saw the same guy day after day at the gym, and we manage to strike up a conversation I might consider him as someone to date, but that could take months, because I would have to have a certain amount of familiarity with him to feel comfortable talking to him. I am not shy, but I am very picky in who I choose to date.
Finally somebody who understood my point.

A lot of the posts on this thread have been from women telling me where to go to meet women (I've tried a lot of these, and while they sound good on paper, they didn't work in practice). I've also seen a number of posts from *men* telling me where to meet women. These guys didn't even bother to read the thread title . None of these posts really answered my question.

There are a lot of places where women go that they don't want to meet men. What I wanted to know is where do you (women) go when you *do* want to have men approach you?

To those of you who suggested specific places in Austin to try, thanks. I haven't tried them all yet, so I'll look into them.
- October 9th, 2009, 08:43 pm
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bwr bwr is offline
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grlnxtdr wrote :
Blame it on Ted Bundy and other serial killers. Women for the most part do not like to get approached by stangers. We have our guard up if approached when we are alone. It is not personal, but one bad serial killer apple ruins it for the bunch. I am not calling you or any other man on this post a serial killer, but the fact is that women have to be aware of safety when alone. I would rather not be friendly and miss the oppportunity to meet a nice guy, then be friendly, get dragged in a van, get killed and buried in the desert, all because I trusted a man I did not know. I may be being a tad dramatic, but that is what goes through my head when a guy approaches me when I am alone. Yes, Ted ruined it for the nice guys in this world,,,sorry.
Sorry, but I just don't buy the "serial killer/stalker" excuse - I never have and never will. The percentage of serial killers/stalkers is still very low, and women are in complete control of staying safe and keeping out of bad situations.

There is always a risk of something bad happening to us. Women have a lot higher risk of getting breat cancer or dying in a car accident than they do getting abducted by a serial killer.

There is no harm talking to someone in public If you get in the car with him or go to his house right away, then yes you are asking for trouble.

If you make good, sound choices to begin with you will very likely stay out of trouble. You control what decisions you make.

I am just as much in danger of meeting a woman, going to her car, getting jumped and robbed by two thugs. There are a lot of those scams out there too
- October 9th, 2009, 08:48 pm
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