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grlnxtdr grlnxtdr is offline
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bwr wrote :
Sorry, but I just don't buy the "serial killer/stalker" excuse - I never have and never will. The percentage of serial killers/stalkers is still very low, and women are in complete control of staying safe and keeping out of bad situations.

There is always a risk of something bad happening to us. Women have a lot higher risk of getting breat cancer or dying in a car accident than they do getting abducted by a serial killer.

There is no harm talking to someone in public If you get in the car with him or go to his house right away, then yes you are asking for trouble.

If you make good, sound choices to begin with you will very likely stay out of trouble. You control what decisions you make.

I am just as much in danger of meeting a woman, going to her car, getting jumped and robbed by two thugs. There are a lot of those scams out there too
I was responding to your post which you said the reason women do not want to talk to you is your weight. I do not know you, I have never seen you, but it is my undestanding based on the other male posters, is they get the cold shoulder often by women they do not know in public. All these men can't have weight problems.

I was actually refuting your weight theory and saying it is not personal that women do not want to talk to you, but if you would like me to agree with you and tell you that yes it is because you are fat, then I won't. If you are sending out invitations to the pity party I will not be attending.
I can not speak for every women, but I would choose not to talk to you because of a number of reasons other than weight.
An old adage comes to mind: If you are unhappy about something change it. If you can not change it, change your attitude about it....which do you need to do? The "Nobody likes me because I am fat" excuse ain't gonna fly.
- October 11th, 2009, 08:43 pm
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DreamingOfAtlantis DreamingOfAtlantis is offline
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grlnxtdr wrote :
I was responding to your post which you said the reason women do not want to talk to you is your weight. I do not know you, I have never seen you, but it is my undestanding based on the other male posters, is they get the cold shoulder often by women they do not know in public. All these men can't have weight problems.

I was actually refuting your weight theory and saying it is not personal that women do not want to talk to you, but if you would like me to agree with you and tell you that yes it is because you are fat, then I won't. If you are sending out invitations to the pity party I will not be attending.
I can not speak for every women, but I would choose not to talk to you because of a number of reasons other than weight.
An old adage comes to mind: If you are unhappy about something change it. If you can not change it, change your attitude about it....which do you need to do? The "Nobody likes me because I am fat" excuse ain't gonna fly.
Not to get in a pity party or anything, but around 2001 I changed what I was doing and started my own business. That meant working at the computer during almost all my free time. I used to cycle, walk, and lift weights regularly. I wasn't an Adonis, but I wasn't tubby. Then, while working at the computer and not having time for workouts, I gained weight.

I saw a direct change in how women responded to me when I gained the weight. Now I'm losing weight and actually seeing more interest in me by women than I did before.

I know some will say, "There could be other things that changed." Possibly, but I did find that while I was still heavy, once I got the antique convertible (which I got for *me*, not to show off), as I've said many times, I did start to have a few women a month approach me during top-down season and the conversations indicated their focus was more on how well-to-do I was then on the fact that I like to write or dance. There were a few times that, once I got out of the car and they could see I was heavy, I could literally see a change in the look on their face.

We like to say we're not shallow and that people (our selves, especially) care more about the people than the body, but look at any thread on shorter men/taller women and see all the contortions some women go through to justify turning down men without the right body.

Weight does matter. Perhaps not to everyone, but it does to some.

And not all of us can change our weight or are able to change it easily. I'm losing weight, but I know people who have worked hard and are not able to. Sometimes it's a thyroid issue, sometimes it's something else.
- October 11th, 2009, 08:56 pm
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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MarkInAustin Is wondering if he will ever meet someone

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Jacquesne wrote :
Mark, men are giving you advice because honestly if someone should know where to meet women it should be other guys because aren't they the ones looking? You can ask women where to meet other chicks all day but the reasons and motivation for meeting them are different. After all I'm fairly certain the most common place women meet other women is the ladies bathroom but that doesn't exactly help you much now does it?

If you want to learn to hunt you ask the hunter for advice, not the deer =). Kidding, ladies, kidding!

Jacquesne
I'm asking women because I'm working off of the theory that if the men here actually knew anything about meeting women, they wouldn't be posting here!

--Mark
- October 14th, 2009, 09:51 pm
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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DreamingOfAtlantis wrote :
If it's men looking for women, I'll easily recommend ballroom dancing, but if it's the reverse -- sorry, because I'd love to encourage single women to ballroom dance so I might meet one, but the truth is the women always outnumber the men at ballroom parties and classes.

(And it's amazing how I've actually lost dates by admitting I'm a ballroom dancer!)
Actually I took ballroom dance lessons for 2 years. It was my experience that most of the women who took the lessons were older than my age range. Perhaps I didn't go to the right place.

--Mark
- October 14th, 2009, 09:54 pm
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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Shelby wrote :
My point exactly - if MarkinAustin wants to find a place where women want to interact with men, a dance class would be ideal! Even if he has two left feet, the fact that he is taking a dance class would make him Mr. Desirable because there is a dearth of men at these activities!

(No backhand compliment intended for you, DoA -- I know that you are an accomplished dancer )

In my running group, there is a pace coach who runs in one of the slower groups, who is about 60 y/o, and he has NO PROBLEM getting women to talk with him, because the other guys, who are faster runners, end up bunched together competing for speed. This guy hangs with the slower women, but I bet he is having more fun!
I did this one too (I ran with Austin Fit for three years). I loved the experience (but didn't ever date anybody from there). However my knees are bothering me now, so I had to give up running.
- October 14th, 2009, 09:55 pm
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Jacquesne Jacquesne is offline
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MarkInAustin wrote :
I'm asking women because I'm working off of the theory that if the men here actually knew anything about meeting women, they wouldn't be posting here!

--Mark
So the women would know more about meeting women?

Just because you know where to meet women doesn't mean you're going to find one you like that likes you back. There's a difference between having a conversation and entering into a relationship.

I'm not saying the women don't have good responses. Presumably they aren't going the right places to meet men either or by your logic they wouldn't be here either.

If you really want to know how to pick up women read some of the works by Erik Von Markovic ("Mystery"). It's a bit, well, heartless, but it works if you're able to lose a bit of your conscience for a while. It does, unfortunately, work. Don't let any women you know see it. And ladies who are reading this forget I mentioned anything. These aren't the droids you're looking for!

There's a difference between having knowledge and using it .

Jacquesne
- October 14th, 2009, 10:02 pm
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nightling nightling is online now
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duplicate
Last edited by nightling; October 14th, 2009 at 10:45 pm.
- October 14th, 2009, 10:08 pm
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MarkInAustin MarkInAustin is offline
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LizziePooh wrote :
Hey Mark, the random chances are remote...unless you are like someone like Saul that just goes for it.

For me, speaking as a woman, even if the man was interesting to me - I would not go out with a random stranger...unless there was just something about him (see above comment).

So I really think your best bet is to join a group, team or class - this way you are going to something that isn't random anymore...you can talk a little bit with the person you are interested in and they can develop some sort of rapport with you...then ask them out.

I really think that is your best strategy for finding women out in the real world if you don't have much other interaction with them besides random grocery shopping moments.

And the other good thing about joining a team/club/class (besides the obvious)...you will meet people (male and female). And they know people...so you may open up another avenue of finding a woman for you.
This is what I've been doing. It hasn't worked for me yet, but I have other issues (lack of confidence) that are hurting me. I was just wondering if I was looking in the wrong places.
- October 14th, 2009, 10:09 pm
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grlnxtdr wrote :
I have this problem all the time. If I am out with a group of friends I rarely get noticed by males. Why? I would not say it is because I am horridly ugly, or unapproachable, but I am the puppy in the litter that doesn't jump all over a guy to get attention. If I were on the "Bachelorette" I would probably get booted off the 1st or 2nd show, simply because I am non-competative with other women. I do not demand that I have the spotlight in a situation. I am not shy, but I not the girl dancing on the table either.

Guys... take notice of the girl that is not nessesarily putting on the one person song and dance routine to get your attention. She may be the girl that is the nicest in the room and would love to meet you, but won't send up flares in the sky to be found.

I know it's not good that in a room full of competition I am the first to back off and hand the prize to someone else, but I am super non-competative, it is not in my nature. That's why I do not play sports, I would be like "Lets all get a prize and share it!" ( I don't think I would share my "prize man,") but my point is that sometimes I am approachable, but am not approached, because, another girl is putting our fliers, has a neon sign, and a fireworks display to announce her appoachabilty and all I got is an add in the penny saver.

Case and point, I went out last night and started chatting up a nice guy, for all of maybe twenty seconds, he was smiling and seemed interested, next thing you know another female joins in the conversation, piggy backs offa what I just said, and she takes over the conversation. I am left standing there like a dumbass. I think you guys have a certain term for this, having to do with roosters and blocking moves. No I am not bitter, (ok maybe a little.) But here I was wanting to get met, even made some effort and the it was all futile because this girl swooped in and stole my thunder. Arggg...
I would notice you. I like the understated woman in the crowd.
- October 14th, 2009, 10:09 pm
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nightling nightling is online now
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Jacquesne wrote :
So the women would know more about meeting women?

Just because you know where to meet women doesn't mean you're going to find one you like that likes you back. There's a difference between having a conversation and entering into a relationship.

I'm not saying the women don't have good responses. Presumably they aren't going the right places to meet men either or by your logic they wouldn't be here either.

If you really want to know how to pick up women read some of the works by Erik Von Markovic ("Mystery"). It's a bit, well, heartless, but it works if you're able to lose a bit of your conscience for a while. It does, unfortunately, work. Don't let any women you know see it. And ladies who are reading this forget I mentioned anything. These aren't the droids you're looking for!

There's a difference between having knowledge and using it .

Jacquesne
Or he could just read the Art of Seduction (aka the Art of creating 1001 enemies in a single lifetime).
- October 14th, 2009, 10:10 pm
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