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parakeetjordan parakeetjordan is offline
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cp30 wrote :
there have been threads about this....at length! There definitley are differences....can you search the forum a little? I might write more later, but I wrote soo much on other threads....it might be a valuable read, lots of people contributed.
Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks for the tip.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:11 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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As scarlet wrote it's more of an 'internet bar'. As a man, it seems that the only way to use match is as a 'numbers game'. That is... writing to many women and then a very small percentage will respond. The problem with this approach is... when I see the occasional woman there that I might have a strong interest in... there's very little chance of communicating with her, probably because she's so bombarded by messages, winks and IMs from other men (most of whom are probably playing the numbers game as well). I've used match on a couple different occasions....but think it's value is pretty limited with respect to finding a long term relationship.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:15 pm
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ScottK ScottK is offline
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parakeetjordan wrote :
Okay, I just subscribed to match.com a couple of hours ago, just out of curiosity because I've heard so much about it, but I was reluctant to do so before today because I didn't want everyone in the U.S. to be able to search for me, which is really still a very scary idea.

The difference is startling. It feels like a video game on match.com with all the IMs, emails, winks, etc. all coming at you at the same time. However, match.com apparently does not have an advice support board like eHarmony.com.

Do any members have any advice about the differences between the two sites? My head is still spinning.
As a female, if you are of at least average looks, and not a BBW, you will probably get more communication on Match.com.

But more communication does not equal better.

As someone mentioned already, its more of an online bar, and you should expect to get more guys that want to FWB you, rather than have a more serious relationship.

This isn't always the case, as a member here found her fiance (husband?) now on Match.com
But its generally considered more of a hook-up site.

For a male, Match.com is horrible, unless you are tall and built.
If you are short, or just average build, you will find that you will send literally 100's of emails to women, only to get no response at all.
No "Not Interested", no email of "Sorry", just nothing.

As usual, this isn't always the case, but many guys here (including me), have found this to be true.

Eharmony.com on the other hand, I believe levels out the field a bit more.
I suspect it has to do with the fact that both parties are more serious about finding their "The One", and get into a LTR/marriage.

So you might not get as much communication on Eharmony, as on Match, but the communication you do get, comes with the knowledge that your Match is probably serious about finding their husband/wife, and not just wondering if they can hook up with you tonight.

Since there are a lot more guys looking for hookups, they usually go to Match.com or POF, thus increasing the amount of guys there.
This benefits the gals on Match.com, in at least quantity.

So anyway, long story short, my belief is that you need to determine what you are looking for... Hookups, or LTR/Marriage, and pick your site based on that.
Last edited by ScottK; October 8th, 2009 at 07:20 pm.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:18 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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parakeetjordan wrote :
Yikes is my gut reaction to your comment about your ex finding you on match.com. This is the reason I didn't join match.com earlier. I'm afraid my clients, and co-workers will find me. Oh well, I joined so I'm going to see how it goes. Yikes, again. What did I get myself into? I don't have time for this.

There does seem to be different rules of etiquette on match.com that one needs to follow just because of the way it works. There is less privacy. I guess I will just have to learn what those subtle differences are after being so accustomed to eHarmony.com the past two months. Does anyone have any advice about the subtle differences in etiquette?
well, My ex and i are friends so it wasn't that weird. you can also hide your profile and only show it to people you are interested in, so there is that option.

like i said, Match is a little more like a bar than EH. there's a little less ettiquette in general- it's more like a social networking site, so its more casual.

I saw some of the funniest profiles ever on Match, and a lot of creepers emailing me too. personally i think it's hilarious, though.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:20 pm
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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it just takes more weeding.

The best plan is to focus on the people you are really interested in.....and they will email you if they are really interested in you.

I generally ignore winks and 'he clicked a button to say he is interested in me' profiles.

I might look, but unless I really sense something I won't bother.

Stick with the guys who email you.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:40 pm
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cp30 wrote :
it just takes more weeding.

The best plan is to focus on the people you are really interested in.....and they will email you if they are really interested in you.

I generally ignore winks and 'he clicked a button to say he is interested in me' profiles.

I might look, but unless I really sense something I won't bother.

Stick with the guys who email you.
There she is....the Queen of Match.com. Follow her advice!
- October 8th, 2009, 07:42 pm
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
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Let's see. I was on both eHarmony and Match.

I'm marrying a girl I met on eHarmony.

Yes. I'm biased toward eHarmony. I admit it.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:48 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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You asked about the differences between Match and eHarmony and they are many.

1. eHarmony only sends you matches that their system has determined is compatible to you based on how you filled out the Personality Profile Questionnaire. On Match you are matched based on a search criteria that you have entered that is heavily based on physical preferences.
2. Match has no Guided Communication, you just start e-mailing.
3. Winks are the same as IceBreakers. Non-paying members can send a wink.
4. On Match you have to write a free form profile describing who you are and what you are looking for. It can be quite long and much more detailed than on eHarmony.
5. Anyone can see your photos whether they are a paying member or not. Even someone that is not even registered on Match can see your profile and primary photo.
6. I have been on Match both as paying and non-paying since 2002 and I cannot remember them ever having a Free Communication Weekend.
7. I was a paying member of Match for 3 months in 2002 and had ZERO matches respond in any way. I then decided to give Match another try in 2007 - 2008 for a year as a paying member and had 4 matches respond out of over 600 that I contacted. This is a very low percentage.
8. Match has as many if not more non-paying members than eHarmony. There is however an indication of who may not be a paying member on Match.

I could go on but I am getting tired of typing.
- October 8th, 2009, 07:52 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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I didn't realize match.com was a paying site or that you could join this one w/o paying. I joined this one bc I thought you had to pay to be a member and I thought that might cut down on dealing w a lot of silly games that I feel I'm too old to play.

Oh well ... so much for that idea. lol

I guess it's all a little bit like fishing. A person should join both to see what's there.
- October 8th, 2009, 08:05 pm
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scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
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IME, i recieved a lot of emails/winks from men who either were looking to play or men who stated that they wanted children ( my profile clearly stated i did not)

now, i may be deluded but think i'm reasonably attractive, but maybe not the "bring home to mom" type. so my biggest disappointment in Match was that i felt a lot of the men contacting me were interested in me until they found wife material.

i didn't have much success on EH either, though. maybe i'm too "alternative" for EH, but too much of a hopeless romantic for Match.
- October 8th, 2009, 08:08 pm
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