Did my date do a background check on me?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
backinthegame is offline backinthegame Post #1  October 5,2009, 9:54pm
backinthegame's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

CA

Posts: 3

See profile

Hi all! I've been reading the boards and have seen a lot of people talking about background checks. The thought has never crossed my mind to do a background check on someone. I personally think it's an invasion of privacy and to be completely honest...a little psycho. But, now that I've read about so many people doing this, I wonder if the guy I'm dating has done one on me. I only suspect he may have because on our very first date, I met him at his house (I met him thru my best friend and we had a couple of meetings before our date, so I wasn't going to a strangers house) and he made me show him where I parked. He said he wanted to make sure I was in a legal spot. I pointed toward the parking lot next to his apartment, but he made me actually point out my car. I thought this was odd. He said it was ok and we left on our date. I thought about it more and wondered if he was really concerned about me parking legally, wanted to see what type of car I drive, or if he wanted my plate #. I'm not even sure if you can do a background check from someone's plates because as I said before, I don't believe in it so I don't even know how to go about doing one. One thing I should probably mention is that he's the mayor of his city and probably has the resources to get any information he wanted. And given his status, he probably wants to make sure the woman he's getting involved with has a clean record. I have nothing to hide except some debt problems in the past, but that was in the past. I would hope that anytime personal information is given without your permission, you would be notified. IMHO, I don't think it should be legal for anyone to access your private information without your prior consent. I would like to know if there's a way to find out if someone has done a background check on you. Anyone know?
 
  Reply With Quote
Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #2  October 5,2009, 10:04pm
Mangosteen's Avatar

sleeeepy

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2008

Southwest

Posts: 378

See profile

Kinda sounds like The Ugly Truth
 
  Reply With Quote
backinthegame is offline backinthegame Post #3  October 5,2009, 10:12pm
backinthegame's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

CA

Posts: 3

See profile

What do you mean by "The Ugly Truth"?
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #4  October 5,2009, 10:48pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

I've been in several apartment complexes (and managed a few apartment buildings) and know that the parking places are not always as well marked as they should be. It's entirely possible that he was honestly concerned about your parking place. I know of one place that I suspect has someone on patrol doing nothing but looking for incorrectly parked cars -- they are THAT quick to have one towed if it's a non-resident in a resident's space. (Or maybe they get a kickback on tow fees?)

Also, if he's the mayor, he may be aware that if you parked illegally, that if you got a ticket, he may know people in traffic that would actually notice, "Hey, someone was parking by Mayor Joe's place ... I wonder what's up with that?"

Honestly, a background check would be easier with your full name and SSN, but he might get both from your plate. If he were that keen on doing a check, he would have already gotten your full name from mutual friends and started by Googling you and may have even gotten a check already.

As for me, and I know this ticked off at least one forum member when I brought it up, but experience tells me it's a problem: for the first few dates, my dates do NOT find out what kind of car I'm driving. It's not so much a safety issue, but it's a vintage luxury car and there are times (especially during warm months when I leave the top down) where I meet women who see the car, think it means money, and that piques their interest in me for the wrong reasons.
 
  Reply With Quote
neardc is offline neardc Post #5  October 5,2009, 10:59pm
neardc's Avatar

Toodles, sayonara, and happy trails! Wishing everyone luck and love...

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,050

See profile

Just to clarify, the type of background checks that most people refer to on the boards here involve checking public data bases. You may feel that this information is private, but it is in fact public and available to anyone. All that is needed is your name to start a search. There is no way for you to know if such a search is done on you (they have no doubt been done in one form or another on you numerous times in the past by employers, creditors, etc.).

I think you are really over-analyzing this situation...lol. If your date the mayor had been especially interested in checking up on you before your first date, he would have done so using your name.

And BTW, it would be quite unethical for him to misuse the resources of his office to "check you out." He would be taking quite a chance were he to do that (especially since he can find much of the same information as a private citizen should he wish to...).
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #6  October 5,2009, 11:12pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

neardc wrote :
Just to clarify, the type of background checks that most people refer to on the boards here involve checking public data bases. You may feel that this information is private, but it is in fact public and available to anyone. All that is needed is your name to start a search. There is no way for you to know if such a search is done on you (they have no doubt been done in one form or another on you numerous times in the past by employers, creditors, etc.).

I think you are really over-analyzing this situation...lol. If your date the mayor had been especially interested in checking up on you before your first date, he would have done so using your name.

And BTW, it would be quite unethical for him to misuse the resources of his office to "check you out." He would be taking quite a chance were he to do that (especially since he can find much of the same information as a private citizen should he wish to...).
1) Agree with the comment about over-analyzing.

2) I make my living by creating mailing data from public databases. I can tell you everyone who has been sued in the past 10 years in the city of Richmond, VA and have records in my databases for surrounding counties as well. Sometimes people are offended that anyone has this data, but it's public and, honestly, since it's all automated, when John Doe calls up someone and cusses them out for daring to know they're being sued or got caught speeding, that's the first we know if it. If John Doe just SHUT UP and didn't call, we wouldn't know he exists, much less that he's dealing with stuff in court.

I know using such data offends people, but I know of many people who will sleep tonight in their own houses because my clients helped them get a new mortgage or deal with other problems legally.
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #7  October 5,2009, 11:14pm
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

We're one of a kind, like dip di-dip di-dip, doo-bop a doo-bee doo

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,405

See profile

Or, he could be trying to see which car is yours to stalk you. Perhaps you should be doing the background check on him, to see what kind of past he has with women...
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #8  October 5,2009, 11:27pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

Oregon_Coast_Guy wrote :
Or, he could be trying to see which car is yours to stalk you. Perhaps you should be doing the background check on him, to see what kind of past he has with women...
Hmmm.... Any reason why such thoughts about stalking are the first that come to your head?
 
  Reply With Quote
olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #9  October 5,2009, 11:41pm
olneyjeeps's Avatar

...

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

no

Posts: 1,933

See profile

Oh good god are we paranoid!
Note: If you are dating a higher ranking political or executive, you should show good form and ask him/her to run a check on you. They have far too much to lose to be seen with someone with a record (believe it or not, they are out there).

Call me stupid , but (especially for dates), my life is an open book. I give them basic info and direct them how to find just about everything they could ever want to know.

Having lived in a town of about 500, I can not help to think of comment about living in small town "everyone knows what you are doing." My response to that is "what is the problem if you are doing nothing but good things?"

Things in your record that might be questionable? Tell him / her (don't let them find out about them and then you have to be on defensive).

Just my .02
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  October 6,2009, 12:34am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

There are a dozen website that will allow you to do a people search and also supply you with public information for a back ground check. Try-
mylife@mail.mylife.com
They will give you free searches. A public offical can have a background check on you in ten minutes. You can also have one done in 5 minutes as well on the net!

Harvey7
Last edited by Harvey7; October 6,2009 at 12:37am.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Won't date a workaholic... but are they ALL workaholics?! | Dating | Here is what would happen if guys didn't treat dating like a game. »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Fear of Date? passat1 Dating 12 May 2,2011 8:13am
Texting other women on a date Mystified101 Ask a Dating Expert 77 April 10,2011 5:11pm
Second date, No Kiss: is this guy even interested in me? bronte71 Dating 70 January 27,2011 5:27pm
Bad Second Date Sort of bdavie Ask a Dating Expert 16 October 12,2009 10:29pm
When to do a background check? verylibra Dating 161 October 9,2009 3:17pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:50pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0