Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Dating First-date jitters? Hoping for a second date? Moving on to a full blown relationship? Share your journey and advice here.

Reply
Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 Last »
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

The thread title is a reference to the movie Office Space in which the main character has a problem with the fact that the woman he's dating had dated/slept with another character named Lumberg. The Lumberg character in the movie is a classic idiot boss (I'd definitely recommend seeing the movie if you haven't).

Related to this, I was recently talking with a friend who experienced a similar thing. He had met and was interested in a certain woman (but hadn't dated her). He then found out that she had been in a 2 year relationship with another man that he and I are both acquainted with... and the guy is a real jerk. Upon learning this my friend lost interest in the woman. I commented to him that he had lost interest in her because she had dated 'Lumberg'.

I've experienced a similar thing myself. When I was in grad school there was a female student in my department that I had some interest in. However, when she started dating another student in the dept. I lost interest. The reason was that...while the guy in the dept. she had started dating was an ok guy (he was a casual friend of mine)... he was a very different type of person than I am. This being the case... if he's the type that she would get along well with then I don't think her and I would likely be compatible.

So...the question to you all is, has the fact of who someone has dated or had a relationship with in the past caused you to lose interest in them? Or, do you think it could?
- October 5th, 2009, 10:16 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
BuzWeaver BuzWeaver is offline
BuzWeaver's Avatar

BuzWeaver Researching the cure for liberalism

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 1,272

See profile

Kinda funny as I was just watching snippets of the movie earlier today. It was established later in the film by David Herman's Character, Michael Bolton and Ajay Naidu, Samir, that the Lumberg, Jennifer Aniston's character Joann, had slept with was actually a younger employee called Lumberg who had since left INITECH.
- October 5th, 2009, 10:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
librarybabe librarybabe is offline
librarybabe's Avatar

librarybabe wird mit sehnsuechtige Liebe ueberwaeltigt!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 571

See profile

I guess to an extent. I mean we all do that sometimes when we are deciding what "league," as Saul would say, they're in. The people they associate with says something about them.
I think in the case of your friend, I would feel the same. Two years with a jerk is a long time. He either has some qualities that she saw that you don't, or else it says something about her own self esteem. Of course, anyone reading these boards can see that people can learn to break old habits of limiting themselves to one jerky type. So I might be hold out some hope if I thought the guy showed signs of having learned something from the experience.
In your case, I don't know that I would assume the fact she started dating a guy unlike you said a lot about her. She may have been reading a book that told her to experiment and date guys who weren't ordinarily her type. Or had a dating dry spell and told herself she was going out with the first half-decent guy who asked her out. Or you are such a slow mover that she dated the other guy to make you jealous! Or any number of scenarios.
Don't know if this is any different though than me deciding what league a guy is in based on the type of girls he dates. I suppose that could be the same thing. hmm.....
Last edited by librarybabe; October 5th, 2009 at 11:15 am.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:11 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
She may have been reading a book that told her to experiment and date guys who weren't ordinarily her type. Or had a dating dry spell and told herself she was going out with the first half-decent guy who asked her out. Or you are such a slow mover that she dated the other guy to make you jealous!
Incidentally... the last I knew they were engaged and living together.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:15 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

BuzWeaver wrote :
Kinda funny as I was just watching snippets of the movie earlier today. It was established later in the film by David Herman's Character, Michael Bolton and Ajay Naidu, Samir, that the Lumberg, Jennifer Aniston's character Joann, had slept with was actually a younger employee called Lumberg who had since left INITECH.
Yes... in the movie it turned out to be a different Lumberg.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:16 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

librarybabe librarybabe is offline
librarybabe's Avatar

librarybabe wird mit sehnsuechtige Liebe ueberwaeltigt!

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 571

See profile

jayjay wrote :
Incidentally... the last I knew they were engaged and living together.
How tragic! She tries to get your attention, even going the extent of getting engaged to this guy and you ignore her. Now she is doomed to marry this guy and forever wonder what might have been, if you just hadn't taken it so slow.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:22 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
DennisWisconsin's Avatar

DennisWisconsin LA/Victorville California

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 5,390

See profile

This has happened to me a few times... I don't think it matters what kind of person they end up dating though. I would probably lose interest no matter what. Which is probably a good thing... If we didn't lose interest, our ideal is dating someone else... this is problematic at best.
.
.
.
__________________________________________________ __________
Join the conversation in eHA Groups:
(Herds of Nerds)Herds of nerds
- October 5th, 2009, 11:25 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot Glider_Pilot is offline
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Glider_Pilot Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 2,404

See profile

Life is just a lot simpler if, with the exception of the STD discussion, you assume that the person you're dating doesn't have a past. If you hear about their past, just tell yourself it was someone else.

We change so much over the course of our lives. There are many people I dated in the past that I would not have dated knowing what I know now and being who I am now. People make mistakes, especially in judgement. Don't make them pay for it forever.

Maybe even she thinks "Lumberg" was a jerk, in hindsight.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:29 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
jayjay jayjay is offline
jayjay's Avatar

jayjay ....is feeling optimistic.

Power Poster

Join Date: Jun 2008

Posts: 8,275

See profile

Glider_Pilot wrote :
Life is just a lot simpler if, with the exception of the STD discussion, you assume that the person you're dating doesn't have a past. If you hear about their past, just tell yourself it was someone else.

We change so much over the course of our lives. There are many people I dated in the past that I would not have dated knowing what I know now and being who I am now. People make mistakes, especially in judgement. Don't make them pay for it forever.

Maybe even she thinks "Lumberg" was a jerk, in hindsight.
So....I take it this means a woman having dated a 'Lumberg' hasn't mattered to you and won't in the future.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot Glider_Pilot is offline
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Glider_Pilot Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 2,404

See profile

Why should I care? If he's a jerk and she's dating me now, isn't it quite obvious that she's had some kind of epiphany about her taste in men?
- October 5th, 2009, 11:40 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 1 of 9 1 2 3 Last »

Bookmarks

« How to Break it off? | Array | interested? not interested? can't figure it out... »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Has he ever communicated with you? I take it you sent the initial questions to him- if not, what reply are you talking about? I agree with the others who say there's no harm in keeping it open. ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“I think it was his cute way of saying he enjoyed his time with you and yes, you were a cheap date. I get told I'm a cheap date when I order the smallest coffee or tell my friends I ate before I came ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “That WAS a compliment... I think?!” discussion

“Personally, I believe you should remove them. For a lot of women, it is going to be a big red flag that you are just here for sex, So what if a woman has it in her must haves/cant stands????? ... ” – ami1uwant

Join the “Must Have/Can't Stand Mistake?” discussion

“I try to treat it as close to "real" life as possible. So, yes, meet as quickly as is possible for both people. Just like in real life, people meet and then don't start dating for months or years. So ... ” – nophotos

Join the “Too much thinking going on here...” discussion

“ This was my feeling too. I think he doesn't agree because he only offered the explanation I pasted in my OP, but not an admission. Perhaps I am too tied up in the words I'm hearing, and think I need ... ” – SavannahGal

Join the “Stop Talking” discussion

“I didn't cringe. I don't see much you did wrong. I'd be charmed more than anything by the kiss on the hand, unless I wasn't responding positively through the whole date. The man I'm now dating was ... ” – nophotos

Join the “Rough Start” discussion

“I also asked him "How would you spend a romatic evening with someone you have been dating over one year" answer: after dating over one year I would hope to find out how that person would want to ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “I'm seeing red flags . . .” discussion

“ Read what I just posted about sarcasm.” – nunayabizness

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:55 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0