Does it matter if he/she dated 'Lumberg'?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #1  October 5,2009, 9:16am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

The thread title is a reference to the movie Office Space in which the main character has a problem with the fact that the woman he's dating had dated/slept with another character named Lumberg. The Lumberg character in the movie is a classic idiot boss (I'd definitely recommend seeing the movie if you haven't).

Related to this, I was recently talking with a friend who experienced a similar thing. He had met and was interested in a certain woman (but hadn't dated her). He then found out that she had been in a 2 year relationship with another man that he and I are both acquainted with... and the guy is a real jerk. Upon learning this my friend lost interest in the woman. I commented to him that he had lost interest in her because she had dated 'Lumberg'.

I've experienced a similar thing myself. When I was in grad school there was a female student in my department that I had some interest in. However, when she started dating another student in the dept. I lost interest. The reason was that...while the guy in the dept. she had started dating was an ok guy (he was a casual friend of mine)... he was a very different type of person than I am. This being the case... if he's the type that she would get along well with then I don't think her and I would likely be compatible.

So...the question to you all is, has the fact of who someone has dated or had a relationship with in the past caused you to lose interest in them? Or, do you think it could?
 
  Reply With Quote
BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #2  October 5,2009, 9:36am
BuzWeaver's Avatar

Researching the cure for liberalism

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2008

Atlanta

Posts: 1,410

See profile

Kinda funny as I was just watching snippets of the movie earlier today. It was established later in the film by David Herman's Character, Michael Bolton and Ajay Naidu, Samir, that the Lumberg, Jennifer Aniston's character Joann, had slept with was actually a younger employee called Lumberg who had since left INITECH.
 
  Reply With Quote
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #3  October 5,2009, 10:11am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

I guess to an extent. I mean we all do that sometimes when we are deciding what "league," as Saul would say, they're in. The people they associate with says something about them. I think in the case of your friend, I would feel the same. Two years with a jerk is a long time. He either has some qualities that she saw that you don't, or else it says something about her own self esteem. Of course, anyone reading these boards can see that people can learn to break old habits of limiting themselves to one jerky type. So I might be hold out some hope if I thought the guy showed signs of having learned something from the experience. In your case, I don't know that I would assume the fact she started dating a guy unlike you said a lot about her. She may have been reading a book that told her to experiment and date guys who weren't ordinarily her type. Or had a dating dry spell and told herself she was going out with the first half-decent guy who asked her out. Or you are such a slow mover that she dated the other guy to make you jealous! Or any number of scenarios. Don't know if this is any different though than me deciding what league a guy is in based on the type of girls he dates. I suppose that could be the same thing. hmm.....
Last edited by librarybabe; October 5,2009 at 10:15am.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  October 5,2009, 10:15am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
She may have been reading a book that told her to experiment and date guys who weren't ordinarily her type. Or had a dating dry spell and told herself she was going out with the first half-decent guy who asked her out. Or you are such a slow mover that she dated the other guy to make you jealous!
Incidentally... the last I knew they were engaged and living together.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  October 5,2009, 10:16am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

BuzWeaver wrote :
Kinda funny as I was just watching snippets of the movie earlier today. It was established later in the film by David Herman's Character, Michael Bolton and Ajay Naidu, Samir, that the Lumberg, Jennifer Aniston's character Joann, had slept with was actually a younger employee called Lumberg who had since left INITECH.
Yes... in the movie it turned out to be a different Lumberg.
 
  Reply With Quote
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #6  October 5,2009, 10:22am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

jayjay wrote :
Incidentally... the last I knew they were engaged and living together.
How tragic! She tries to get your attention, even going the extent of getting engaged to this guy and you ignore her. Now she is doomed to marry this guy and forever wonder what might have been, if you just hadn't taken it so slow.
 
  Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #7  October 5,2009, 10:25am
DennisWiscons…'s Avatar

Milwaukee

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Milwaukee

Posts: 5,720

See profile

This has happened to me a few times... I don't think it matters what kind of person they end up dating though. I would probably lose interest no matter what. Which is probably a good thing... If we didn't lose interest, our ideal is dating someone else... this is problematic at best.
.
.
.
__________________________________________________ __________
Join the conversation in eHA Groups:
Herds of nerds
 
  Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #8  October 5,2009, 10:29am
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Orange County, CA

Posts: 2,409

See profile

Life is just a lot simpler if, with the exception of the STD discussion, you assume that the person you're dating doesn't have a past. If you hear about their past, just tell yourself it was someone else.

We change so much over the course of our lives. There are many people I dated in the past that I would not have dated knowing what I know now and being who I am now. People make mistakes, especially in judgement. Don't make them pay for it forever.

Maybe even she thinks "Lumberg" was a jerk, in hindsight.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #9  October 5,2009, 10:35am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

Glider_Pilot wrote :
Life is just a lot simpler if, with the exception of the STD discussion, you assume that the person you're dating doesn't have a past. If you hear about their past, just tell yourself it was someone else.

We change so much over the course of our lives. There are many people I dated in the past that I would not have dated knowing what I know now and being who I am now. People make mistakes, especially in judgement. Don't make them pay for it forever.

Maybe even she thinks "Lumberg" was a jerk, in hindsight.
So....I take it this means a woman having dated a 'Lumberg' hasn't mattered to you and won't in the future.
 
  Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #10  October 5,2009, 10:40am
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Orange County, CA

Posts: 2,409

See profile

Why should I care? If he's a jerk and she's dating me now, isn't it quite obvious that she's had some kind of epiphany about her taste in men?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« How to Break it off? | Dating | Confused »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 2:52am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0