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saulgoode saulgoode is offline
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What's a Slump Buster?

It's that person you date ~anyway~, just to get yourself out of that dating slump.

A buddy of mine calls it that.

Of course, this is the same guy who said, "Life's nothing without someone to share it with. I'd rather have a crazy girlfriend than no girlfriend at all."

Only he didn't say "girlfriend."


- Saul
- October 5th, 2009, 08:48 am
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landstar59 landstar59 is offline
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I'd rather make my "slump buster' time spent with girlfriends doing something meaningful than to be with just any old person. Why eat hershey's when you can have Godiva? I hope to not think less of myself just to let any old body share my space. Your friend obviously wants quantity over quality.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:26 am
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Glider_Pilot Glider_Pilot is offline
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I'm with Landstar on this one. Dating someone just to have "someone" not only smacks of desperation, it really messes with you life. You're stuck with someone you really don't care about, and not out doing the fun, horizon-broadening things that will not only make your own life better, but will eventually lead you to people who you really want to date.

And what happens if you're dating your 'slump buster' and the 'right one' just happens across your path? Cheat on the slump-buster until you're sure about the other one? No thanks. I don't need that kind of drama in my life.
- October 5th, 2009, 11:33 am
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librarybabe librarybabe is online now
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Well... dating them for a longish period just for the sake of not being alone, maybe is dumb. I don't need to be with someone all the time to be happy. I do have friends.

However, I think there is some merit to dating just for the sake of either having fun, meeting people or getting out of a slump. If you are so hung up on finding "the one" you may live in constant disappointment and never date at all. So meeting someone you don't really expect to date long term, isn't such a horrible way to get out of slump.

I'm actually annoyed today. I am working on getting out of slump and now two guys have recently foiled my fine plans of getting out to meet some new guys. I wasn't overly interested, but they weren't losers and they were local. I'm finally motivated to make a change, and no one is cooperating. Don't mind me. I just needed to kwetch.
- October 5th, 2009, 01:38 pm
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shoopthedoop shoopthedoop is offline
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Yeah, slump buster is a pretty nasty concept.

Dating someone just to date someone is using the person and not cool at all. In a weird sense I have a little less probably with what Saul's buddy used instead of dating (fwb?). At least both people are getting their physical needs met and the 'using' could be two-way. Still not a great concept but at least the likelihood of someone getting hurt is less. As long as the nature of the relationship is truly understood by both parties.
Last edited by shoopthedoop; October 5th, 2009 at 09:14 pm.
- October 5th, 2009, 01:48 pm
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DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
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OP... your slumpbuster appears to feature using someone...

The best solution I've found to slumps is to simply get out there and get working... That also works for dating.
- October 5th, 2009, 03:47 pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is online now
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Now I may not be understanding the slump buster concept correctly but I am seeing it differently than the rest of you.

Unless you are leading the person to believe that you are seeing her exclusively and as "the one" then you are just going out and doing things with a friend. Just the friend is an opposite sex friend. Example: go read Lori's threads for each Monday on Who had a date that weekend.
- October 5th, 2009, 08:36 pm
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
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So is the question "Is it OK to date just for practice?"
- October 6th, 2009, 05:25 am
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DennisWisconsin DennisWisconsin is offline
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Mr_Right wrote :
So is the question "Is it OK to date just for practice?"
In my opinion, casual dating is totally acceptable... as long as you don't mislead the one you're dating.
- October 6th, 2009, 05:59 am
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centralnydude centralnydude is offline
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Its a slippery slope. Depending on what your definitions are.
My friend had a similar idea in his head. He would rather be with someone that wasn't great for him than to be alone. He just can't handle being by himself. But if you start doing that, you start to subconsciously lower your standards. Then you start to get serious with someone you wouldn't normally otherwise be. You end up in a relationship with someone and end up smacking yourself in the head and asking yourself how the heck you ended up there? (I'm still waiting for my friend to reach that point, since none of the smacks in the head I've given him seem to be working...)
The only problem with staying single and not dating, is losing the skill set that comes with being out. Give someone a chance, maybe not your usual "type", but try. Give things a good effort and see where it goes. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it helps to be out and about, keeping your dating skill set in check. Otherwise, when that "right" person shows up, you may be very well out of practice and screw it up!
So, yeah, dating for "practice" is a good way to look at it. But be reasonable about your expectations, and don't string anyone along.
- October 6th, 2009, 09:12 am
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