Have you found your Slump Buster


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #1  October 5,2009, 7:48am
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

What's a Slump Buster?

It's that person you date ~anyway~, just to get yourself out of that dating slump.

A buddy of mine calls it that.

Of course, this is the same guy who said, "Life's nothing without someone to share it with. I'd rather have a crazy girlfriend than no girlfriend at all."

Only he didn't say "girlfriend."


- Saul
 
  Reply With Quote
landstar59 is offline landstar59 Post #2  October 5,2009, 10:26am
landstar59's Avatar

Wondering why I ever left this place. Came back and now I know why.

Veteran

Joined: Apr 2008

30.5 Lat / -90.45 Long

Posts: 1,922

See profile

I'd rather make my "slump buster' time spent with girlfriends doing something meaningful than to be with just any old person. Why eat hershey's when you can have Godiva? I hope to not think less of myself just to let any old body share my space. Your friend obviously wants quantity over quality.
 
  Reply With Quote
Glider_Pilot is offline Glider_Pilot Post #3  October 5,2009, 10:33am
Glider_Pilot's Avatar

Out there. Somewhere.

Veteran

Joined: May 2008

Orange County, CA

Posts: 2,409

See profile

I'm with Landstar on this one. Dating someone just to have "someone" not only smacks of desperation, it really messes with you life. You're stuck with someone you really don't care about, and not out doing the fun, horizon-broadening things that will not only make your own life better, but will eventually lead you to people who you really want to date.

And what happens if you're dating your 'slump buster' and the 'right one' just happens across your path? Cheat on the slump-buster until you're sure about the other one? No thanks. I don't need that kind of drama in my life.
 
  Reply With Quote
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #4  October 5,2009, 12:38pm
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

Well... dating them for a longish period just for the sake of not being alone, maybe is dumb. I don't need to be with someone all the time to be happy. I do have friends.

However, I think there is some merit to dating just for the sake of either having fun, meeting people or getting out of a slump. If you are so hung up on finding "the one" you may live in constant disappointment and never date at all. So meeting someone you don't really expect to date long term, isn't such a horrible way to get out of slump.

I'm actually annoyed today. I am working on getting out of slump and now two guys have recently foiled my fine plans of getting out to meet some new guys. I wasn't overly interested, but they weren't losers and they were local. I'm finally motivated to make a change, and no one is cooperating. Don't mind me. I just needed to kwetch.
 
  Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #5  October 5,2009, 12:48pm
shoopthedoop's Avatar

is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Edmonton

Posts: 915

See profile

Yeah, slump buster is a pretty nasty concept.

Dating someone just to date someone is using the person and not cool at all. In a weird sense I have a little less probably with what Saul's buddy used instead of dating (fwb?). At least both people are getting their physical needs met and the 'using' could be two-way. Still not a great concept but at least the likelihood of someone getting hurt is less. As long as the nature of the relationship is truly understood by both parties.
Last edited by shoopthedoop; October 5,2009 at 8:14pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #6  October 5,2009, 2:47pm
DennisWiscons…'s Avatar

Milwaukee

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Milwaukee

Posts: 5,720

See profile

OP... your slumpbuster appears to feature using someone...

The best solution I've found to slumps is to simply get out there and get working... That also works for dating.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  October 5,2009, 7:36pm
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 18,865

See profile

Now I may not be understanding the slump buster concept correctly but I am seeing it differently than the rest of you.

Unless you are leading the person to believe that you are seeing her exclusively and as "the one" then you are just going out and doing things with a friend. Just the friend is an opposite sex friend. Example: go read Lori's threads for each Monday on Who had a date that weekend.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #8  October 6,2009, 4:25am
Mr_Right's Avatar

says this is the best wedding picture!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jun 2008

USA

Posts: 4,386

See profile

So is the question "Is it OK to date just for practice?"
 
  Reply With Quote
DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #9  October 6,2009, 4:59am
DennisWiscons…'s Avatar

Milwaukee

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Milwaukee

Posts: 5,720

See profile

Mr_Right wrote :
So is the question "Is it OK to date just for practice?"
In my opinion, casual dating is totally acceptable... as long as you don't mislead the one you're dating.
 
  Reply With Quote
centralnydude is offline centralnydude Post #10  October 6,2009, 8:12am
centralnydude's Avatar

Still looking for that person whos life has given them vodka...

Quick Study

Joined: Sep 2009

NY

Posts: 68

See profile

Its a slippery slope. Depending on what your definitions are.
My friend had a similar idea in his head. He would rather be with someone that wasn't great for him than to be alone. He just can't handle being by himself. But if you start doing that, you start to subconsciously lower your standards. Then you start to get serious with someone you wouldn't normally otherwise be. You end up in a relationship with someone and end up smacking yourself in the head and asking yourself how the heck you ended up there? (I'm still waiting for my friend to reach that point, since none of the smacks in the head I've given him seem to be working...)
The only problem with staying single and not dating, is losing the skill set that comes with being out. Give someone a chance, maybe not your usual "type", but try. Give things a good effort and see where it goes. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it helps to be out and about, keeping your dating skill set in check. Otherwise, when that "right" person shows up, you may be very well out of practice and screw it up!
So, yeah, dating for "practice" is a good way to look at it. But be reasonable about your expectations, and don't string anyone along.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« trials and tribulations | Dating | Have you gotten into a relationship 'taking things slow'? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
I found him, now what about the others? idoneedyou Ask a Dating Expert 25 October 12,2009 3:12pm
Dating slump brneyedangel Dating 33 September 29,2009 11:24am
Finally found my soulmate avatarmd Ask a Dating Expert 10 July 20,2009 5:50pm
Life is complete, now I have found .. meri75 AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 29 June 19,2009 7:25pm
I've found him!! lindseyk AAA Completely Stupid Conversations 30 May 15,2009 10:59pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:24am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0