ivy08 is offline ivy08 Post #1  October 4,2009, 9:37am
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I'm fairly new to EH and I've been communicating w/ an out of town match since July. We text, email, or talk on the phone about 2x a week. He's suggested we meet and I've agreed, but no plans have been made to get together. Is this pace normal or is it time to move on?
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #2  October 4,2009, 9:38am
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How far out of town? Driving distance within or more than an hour?
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #3  October 4,2009, 9:42am
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Welcome to the boards!

If the distance is a reasonable drive over a day then call him with a particular date, time and place in mind for the meeting.

If it involves an overnight stay than it is much more complicated.
 
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Laughingdaily is offline Laughingdaily Post #4  October 4,2009, 9:43am
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What pace is good for you?? And are you doing any local matches as well? What are you "comfortable with"???
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  October 4,2009, 10:08am
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Long distance relationships move much slower than ones that are local. If you are within an hour or two driving distance then you should be able to meet within a few weeks of beginning Open Communication. When plane tickets and hotels are involved then it may take a few months to feel the connection that you want to risk the money and also make arrangements for the travel.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #6  October 4,2009, 10:11am
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In my view, several months is far too long to delay meeting (except for situation where you are unable to meet due to distance, cost, or other commitments.)

I prefer to meet as soon as possible.

My suggestion is that you work on establishing a process for meeting, and work toward pinning down a date and place.

Also, until you meet and commit to seeing only each other, it is best to continue getting matches and pursuing other options.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #7  October 4,2009, 10:31am

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ivy08 wrote :
I'm fairly new to EH and I've been communicating w/ an out of town match since July. We text, email, or talk on the phone about 2x a week. He's suggested we meet and I've agreed, but no plans have been made to get together. Is this pace normal or is it time to move on?

Have you established a level of feeling comfortable with him? Take all the time that you need and if you want to chat with other people at the same time, it's OK and if you don't feel comfortable with him move on. He is moving slowly to allow to feel comfortable with him. Pick out a place that would be fun for the both of you to meet. Also you can pick the pace up if you want to?

Harvey7.
 
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ivy08 is offline ivy08 Post #8  October 4,2009, 1:37pm
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Thanks for the help!
We're about a 2-3 hour drive apart. I do feel pretty comfortable with him, so during our next talk I'll bring up actually planning a date to meet.
 
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ivy08 is offline ivy08 Post #9  October 10,2009, 12:39pm
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We talked. We've made plans to meet in two weeks! Now I'm scared/nervous!
 
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agoodplace is offline agoodplace Post #10  October 10,2009, 1:24pm
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ivy08 wrote :
I'm fairly new to EH and I've been communicating w/ an out of town match since July. We text, email, or talk on the phone about 2x a week. He's suggested we meet and I've agreed, but no plans have been made to get together. Is this pace normal or is it time to move on?
I think it sounds like you've had plenty of time to get to know each other. If your gut tells you it's right, you should meet. If it's really too soon for you, just be honest. That's being a good, honest friend. If he is beginning to be interested, he'll understand and respect your honesty. If not, you saved yourself from some bad memories!
 
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