should your sexual past matter?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
MrRunningMan80 is offline MrRunningMan80 Post #1  October 3,2009, 2:51pm
MrRunningMan8…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Sep 2009

CA

Posts: 29

See profile

now that i'm divorced i reentered the dating pool at 29, and i'm finding that a lot of single people in this age range have had as many partners as i have fingers, some even more (i'm sure being in the LA area doesn't help). i've never explicitly asked about someone's sexual history, but based on what some have said, they may as well have been a porn star!

i've always been conservative regarding who's gotten my pants off, and i have such a hang-up about people's sexual history. i know a person's past shouldn't be a main focal point, but i just can't get past it.

friends with benefits, infidelity, one night stands... it just breaks my heart and i've ended relationships because of it.

is this something i should be concerned with, or am i just a prude in denial? or am i just jealous?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  October 3,2009, 3:02pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

I think the truth is somewhere in between.

You are right to care about your partner’s values, and who they choose to have sex with is part of that. You are right to care that they will be faithful. And you are right to care about any diseases their lifestyle exposes them to.

Personally, I would avoid morally-stark language in reference to other people, though. Ten partners by age 30 is not a lot.
 
  Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #3  October 3,2009, 3:04pm
clearlyobliqu…'s Avatar

is retiring

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,719

See profile

You've had 11?
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  October 3,2009, 3:16pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,659

See profile

Can I also count on my toes?
 
  Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique is offline clearlyoblique Post #5  October 3,2009, 3:19pm
clearlyobliqu…'s Avatar

is retiring

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,719

See profile

Sure. Use any appendage you need.
 
  Reply With Quote
junefisher180 is offline junefisher180 Post #6  October 3,2009, 3:49pm
junefisher180's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2009

Posts: 5

See profile

A partner's sexual history only matters to me when trying to consider what their safe sex practices are.

If one night stands aren't your thing, that's fine. But why break up or decide not to pursue someone because they've had a few (and have been safe about it)? As long as they aren't going to have one when dating you, it shouldn't make a difference, should it?
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #7  October 3,2009, 4:16pm

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

i guess the alternative would be dating women with a conservative sexual past then coming back on here to complain that women only give up the goods out of duty or to get something.

so, no, it shouldn't matter.
 
  Reply With Quote
Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #8  October 3,2009, 4:36pm
Fleuellen's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Posts: 785

See profile

maybe you should date only me with no or little sexual history ... oh, they'll no doubt have other hang ups ... but ... well, what is the but ... penis don't wear out with use, what on earth could be the difference ... for myself, it not so much that I avoid women with little sexual history (who are you going to know) but I think it is great with women who have had a rich sexual history. Perhaps you would be best talking with counsellor about this matter.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #9  October 3,2009, 4:37pm
Mangosteen's Avatar

sleeeepy

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2008

Southwest

Posts: 378

See profile

Of course I'd always prefer someone's sexual history be similar to my own, but I think at some point you do need to give people the benefit of the doubt. What I mean by that is a lot of people are not the same person today they were before -- maturity comes with age (typically ). There are definitely things I used to do that I have no desire for now. I think not just with sexuality, but other things as well, judging a person by what they've done in their past will never help you get to the future with that person. Instead try to focus on who they are in the present
 
  Reply With Quote
Dugl is offline Dugl Post #10  October 3,2009, 5:07pm
Dugl's Avatar

is happy.

Pacesetter

Joined: Sep 2009

Posts: 441

See profile

clearlyoblique wrote :
Sure. Use any appendage you need.
I can tell you're impressed
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Need some advice please... | Dating | THREE reasons why we love some women!! »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
The Sexual Aspect... DIVISION Using eHarmony 47 October 31,2010 3:56pm
How to reverse emails that have taken a sexual turn too quickly. amamam Dating 24 September 6,2009 7:19pm
Sexual incompatibility? annabella33 Relationships 61 May 30,2009 7:30pm
How to let go of past loves landstar59 Beautiful minds 1 May 30,2009 2:37pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:38pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0