My last two serious relationships both ended badly. The first one was a 7 year long distance relationship where she had fallen in love with someone else. Closure for me was realizing that the relationship had outlived it's purpose and any opportunity to change it into something more had long since passed.

My last relationship lasted about 2 years with us living together for about a year and a half. We both loved each other, or at least I think we did. But she became abusive towards me over time and reality just sucks some times, you know? So I had to leave, multiple times before it was for good. She contacted me a couple of months later wanting to try to salvage things. I probably shouldn't have, but I opened the door a little to her. It was a mistake and we both just ended up hurting each other again. The funny thing is that I think it gave her closure as she got married to some new guy about 8 months later. Meanwhile, I'm still recovering from it. Go figure.

Anyway, I tend to believe that while the idea of closure is nice, thinking you can get it from anyone other than yourself is a myth. I can accept that I have been wronged, but I will rarely be ok with it. I agree with others here who say it is figuring out how to emotionally become ok with what has happened and move on.

Maybe closure is getting a chance to express your feelings about how you were hurt. Maybe it is removal of self doubt by hearing the other person say you didn't deserve how they mistreated you. Maybe it is coming to grips with or getting confirmation that the painful decision to end things was the right thing to do. All of these thing, while maybe having an external component, are taking care of an internal emotional turmoil. Closure for me, is quelling that turmoil in whatever way I can. I'm still figuring that out for my last relationship even though I was the one that ended it.