a2009 is offline a2009 Post #1  October 1,2009, 5:25pm
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Hi guys! Ok so I haven’t dated for awhile so I need a little advice. I met this guy at a store and he wanted to exchange phone numbers and so we did. We went out on 5 fantastic dates. He went out of his way to find out what I liked doing and made sure we did it all. He text me all day long and tried to be there for me in all aspects even things that I didn’t really need him to be there for. Needless to say I fell hard for him….I started to have strong feelings for him just after a month. I did end up sleeping with him. But what I started noticing was he started to only see me like every 8 days or so. I asked him if I could see him more often even if it was for an hour or so. And he said he was too busy. But he continued to text all day long. After another week I started to get lonely so I told him that I thought that he just didn’t have enough time for me and that we should call it quits. That night he seemed upset and said I wasn’t looking for true love and that I just wanted a guy to play the role of a husband. And then the next day when I asked if we could at least be friends since it didn’t work out dating his response was “I only liked you as a friend”. He acted like I was crazy for thinking that we were anything more. Please tell me was I wrong because I feel very confused.
 
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Mangosteen is offline Mangosteen Post #2  October 1,2009, 5:39pm
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I don't think you were wrong. If he liked you enough to sleep with you, then I don't think he was thinking of you "just as a friend" at that point, so I think you're right to feel confused. It sounds like maybe he was interested at the beginning, but it's pretty clear that he is no longer interested. My opinion is he doesn't sound very mature and doesn't sound like someone who would be a good friend to have anyway. He's definitely not straight-talking.

Take care!
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #3  October 1,2009, 5:41pm
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From your side of the story it seems this guy got what he wanted and is ready to move on to the next victim. That's just my crazy assumption, though. I'll say 'no' to the friends idea. The more this guy lingers in your life, the more difficult it will be for you to move on. Don't make friends with a possibility of a hook up later, if he's not interested he's simply not interested.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  October 1,2009, 5:41pm
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Where you went wrong was the sex part. He got what he wanted and now he is off on his next conquest.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #5  October 1,2009, 6:16pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Where you went wrong was the sex part. He got what he wanted and now he is off on his next conquest.
(Gr8 & I don't often agree with each other so I wanted to at least partially agree with him...)

I want to add something here that continually gets lost on women....

Yes, it is very well possible that he was just looking for sex and when he got it he was off. This relationship then was unlikely to survive much longer anyways. Guys looking for sex are going to have a fairly short attention span and will give up after a "manly" attempt.

The sex part is NOT the cause of the break up. It's his relationship goal that caused the break up. Assume he was interested in more, then the sex thing could have strengthened the relationship and started it on the next level.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

How soon a women has sex with a guy DOES NOT determine whether that guy is interested for the short run (sex), or the long run (serious, committed relationship).
 
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PreatorFenix is offline PreatorFenix Post #6  October 2,2009, 4:23am
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It is natural.

A female will try to reel in the male she is with, the male will try to flee any commitments.

He is not a "bad" guy, per say, just ordinary,... he desires his freedom more then he desires you, or better put, commitment to someone.

Someone incapable of self sacrifice for another is a total bore.

Your demands where reasonable and simple. You did nothing wrong.

Walk away, move on, find someone better. There are BILLIONS out there.
 
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richey is online now richey Post #7  October 2,2009, 5:44am
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It's very likely he was just looking towards you as a conquest, and once he got it, there was nothing in it for him. But it might not be that either.

It's also likely that you got a bit too clingy and pushy (you fell in love with him rather quickly, it sounds like you were in constant communications with him trying to keep pushing the relationship along), and it pushed him away.

It's also possible that something came up in conversation or in your interactions that made him feel like it would not work out long-term and so he bailed.

Were you wrong? No. You went into it with a true heart, true intentions, and with no alterior motives. however, where you might have gone wrong is how you handled the development of the relationship. (Fallling too fast, trying to push it too fast).

I'm sorry this one didn't work out.

Richey
 
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a2009 is offline a2009 Post #8  October 14,2009, 5:50pm
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Thx all of you for the advice. I just wasn’t sure if I was going crazy because I had thought that we were dating and not friends. But reading everyone’s comments made me feel better.
 
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ann_the_bold is offline ann_the_bold Post #9  October 14,2009, 6:05pm
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Sorry, a, the guy sounds like a bona fide scum bag. The line about you not looking for "true love" is nothing but a bunch of bull. Like what has been said, he's immature and I'm sorry he broke your heart and made you pay the price. If you need a flaming bag left on his doorstep, I have a dog, a paper bag and a Zippo lighter!
 
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clueless_hmm is offline clueless_hmm Post #10  October 14,2009, 6:26pm
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You guys were going through the motions of being more than friends so you are not crazy at all. Beware of guys who wine and dine you but never talk about having feelings for you or wanting a relationship or constantly refer to you as friends even when going through the motions of a relationship. That usually means the "relationship" is going no where. Take this as a learning experience and watch out.
 
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