cutie5633 is offline cutie5633 Post #1  October 1,2009, 11:57am
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If you are interested in someone you met online, and are emailing them... how often should you communicate with that person? Do you think the frequency is an indication of the level of attraction between two people?
 
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Bootsky is offline Bootsky Post #2  October 1,2009, 12:44pm
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Not necessarily. Some people's lives are busier then others. Sometimes people don't get to check their emails as often as others. If there is a long period of time between the exchange, then I might be concerned. Or if there were multiple emails that are not responded too.
 
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DenBob is offline DenBob Post #3  October 1,2009, 1:12pm
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Good topic, I am actually going thru this right now with someone I met on eH. We have yet to meet on a first date, but are emailing and texting close to daily. There have been a few times that it has gone a day or two in the past 2 weeks without response, but not too long. That tells me that there is some closer degree of interest on both ends. As a personal rule, if I am the last one to communicate, I dont send any more communications for at least 24 hrs without response. I found that just waiting until I get a response back is not always the right course of action. There have been a few times that emails didnt go through, or texts were mis-sent, so dont assume anything... but dont get too "one sided" with the emails either. Balance is everything.
As for the side question,... Yes I personally believe the amount and/or consistency of communications are proportionate to the level of interest and possible chemistry.

Just my take as I see it daily from a male's perspective.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #4  October 1,2009, 3:57pm
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Good posts from Bootsky and DenBob.

Actually, I think frequency of communication has more to do with time available and (the lack) of other interests.

But seriously, do not try to out think it: communicate when you want to, to whom you want to.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #5  October 1,2009, 4:03pm
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If a woman is communicating with me infrequently (such as once every 5-7 days) I will tend to think she isn't especially interested.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  October 1,2009, 4:41pm
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While I understand that most of my matches don't have their personal e-mail available during the day as I do, I do view the quickness of response to be indicative of interest.
 
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DanielJr82 is offline DanielJr82 Post #7  October 1,2009, 5:48pm
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Heh... try 3 to 4 weeks without a response. I think the frequency is a good indication of interest level, but that may not always be the case. A lot of times it is, though.

I've had two interactions outside of eH: one of them emails me once a week, then it stopped. The second emailed, texted, and called me almost everyday... a little cooky. I think an e-mail 2 or 3 times a week is good; an e-mail every other day.
 
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Ron is offline Ron Post #8  October 1,2009, 7:18pm
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It depends on you and the person you're communicating with-- everybody's different. As you trade a few emails, you'll be able to gauge a pace that's comfortable for both of you. And if the interest seems to be there and progressing, you've shared a good prelude to a phone conversation or even a first in-person meeting.
 
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richey is online now richey Post #9  October 2,2009, 5:37am
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My advice is to bring it up again and be direct enough that there is no mistaking that you are saying you'd like to talk on the phone (cute/fun is good, but what if he doesn't get the hint? Or doesn't realize how serious/important to you this is?)

If he refuses, then I'd suggest asking him why he isn't interested in speaking on the phone. I think suggesting an IM audio chat is a great alternative too but I know for me, audio chat/phone just aren't my thing. It never has been. So there are no guarantees an audio chat is any more comfortable (if "i'm not comfy with phones" is the reason).

If he's evasive to the "why no phone?" then that's a red flag ~ he's hiding something. if he gives and has a reason, then the ball is back in your court as to what you'd like to do about it.

I know this is important to you ~ but that's not justification for pushing it on him. At the same time, if he's really into this for developing something with you, he should be willing to find some middle ground here with you.

I too would probably not be willing to go travel to visit him without having a voice conversation either. So it would be very reasonable for you to say "let's postpone the visit then for a bit."

Good luck,
Richey
 
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