Dating as a college professor?

Yeah, my experience with younger faculty (my advisor is one such example) is that they're working like crazy all the time....and even after they get tenure many faculty are so used to pouring so much time and energy into their work that they continue doing so even after getting tenure (not all faculty, and not to quite the extent that the younger ones do, but it's still noticeable).

Yeah....and the 'other' partner also has to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary for the 'career' partner to pursue their work.

That's a given.

Academics certainly work hard, I just never felt the financial reward was truly there. They get paid well but in other fields, law/medicine/accounting the financial rewards are much greater for equal levels of work.

I guess I never really felt the passion for my field of reaserch to make that sacrifice. I would also guess that passion contributes to the difficulties faced in building long-term relationships.

I'm a university professor and am curious as to what the experiences of other academics have been with online dating.

I tried online dating a few years ago and often found it awkward either being matched up with students or accidentally contacting them. The most embarrassing situation occurred when a student I contacted approached me at the end of the semester expecting to date, after I made it clear my contacting her was a mistake. I never date students, so this was a non-starter.

The other issue that comes up is that women sometimes express being intimidated communicating with professors, so I tend to stick with dating a limited pool of professors and physicians.

What's your experience? Is it different for men as opposed for women? Do share.

Interesting....timely topic....

I've gotten to know a few professors, have a master's myself that was pretty intensive with some serious research (I think I treated it more like a PhD, just cause that's how I am, and why I fear the PhD... I have a problem with scope, and I procrastinate too).

My last boyfriend was a young professor at an, I guess you would say research intensive university, and he himself was an ivy league graduate.

And we lived about 45 minutes to an hour apart in different cities.

He, however, manages his time very well and is rather focused. I'm not. I do well in a more structured enviornment (which I have) where I can clock out at night. A nice 40 hours a week. Maybe more if I'm travelling. I don't really have anything to procrastinate about anymore so I have time for a relationship, and I've given up moving from state to state lol...so I'm good.

Anyway. He, however seems to do really well at carving out the time he needs for that and for other things. Very good with that and it was never an issue. I was pretty impressed with that because he really did have a lot on his plate and a lot was expected of him.

I do think it affected 'how' we broke up, but didn't have anything to do with the why. It was the end of the semester and I do think it might have been an overload for him.

Actually I found him so interesting and easy to talk to. I tend to do well with this personality type...I don't need a lot of time with someone... I just need to know they are comitted and that the time is quality. Also, he would be fine with me doing my thing and him doing his thing but still hanging out together. I don't see a problem with that.

Actually, the biggest problem was the....extra cirriculars that academia tends to tolerate if not encourage....i.e. pot smoking.

Anyway, that is water under the bridge at this point and not really the question. Though, in my experience it's been the worst part about dating an academic! lol....everything else fit me pretty well. Personally I need to be with someone that is curious about the world...very intelligent, and a little deeper than your average pick-up truck photo posting duck hunting guy.

And from his perspective...just to throw another one out there. He was also very attracted to strong and intelligent women. I could never see him with someone he didn't respect or connect with intellectually. Of course not just like him, but enough to keep him interested.

And, I'll be seeing him next week. For the first time in a few months...

As for careers that I tend to shy away from.....wall street types. Those are the type of men I am wary of. In my experience...they are smart....but definitley all about the money....and we are fundamentally different.

Typically, I am drawn to very intelligent and ambitious men in general. Not money though. Though it sometimes happens to be a side effect. I'm repelled by men who are in things just for money.

I'm meeting a nice enviornmental lawyer this week too, who has done some really cool things for preservation around here....and some other men who are not professors, but just as busy it seems. Doesn't really bother me. It's the level of comittment I'm interested in.

I've been alone so long, being alone doesn't bother me. I'm actually more afraid of someone who would demand all of my time.

He, however, manages his time very well and is rather focused. I'm not. I do well in a more structured enviornment (which I have) where I can clock out at night. A nice 40 hours a week. Maybe more if I'm travelling. I don't really have anything to procrastinate about anymore so I have time for a relationship, and I've given up moving from state to state lol...so I'm good.

Anyway. He, however seems to do really well at carving out the time he needs for that and for other things. Very good with that and it was never an issue. I was pretty impressed with that because he really did have a lot on his plate and a lot was expected of him.

Typically, I am drawn to very intelligent and ambitious men in general. Not money though. Though it sometimes happens to be a side effect. I'm repelled by men who are in things just for money.

I've been alone so long, being alone doesn't bother me. I'm actually more afraid of someone who would demand all of my time.

Actually, the biggest problem was the....extra cirriculars that academia tends to tolerate if not encourage....i.e. pot smoking.