Dating as a college professor?


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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #31  September 29,2009, 12:49pm
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jayjay wrote :
I was really being sarcastic with my comment about men being 'open minded' by dating much younger women. You know...how men are always being told.... Oh, never mind.
Carp, is it the eye-roll that means sarcasm? I thought it was the wink. Are you being sarcastic with me now?
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #32  September 29,2009, 12:54pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
Isn't it possible to have both? This was the first academic I dated, but does being an academic preclude the possibility of being intimate?
You're right....it doesn't preclude it. It just may be difficult to find an academic who balances their work with other aspects of their lives....as it's just so prevalent for academics to be under great pressure to produce a lot.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #33  September 29,2009, 12:55pm
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MelinCali wrote :
Carp, is it the eye-roll that means sarcasm? I thought it was the wink. Are you being sarcastic with me now?
I'm just going to sit over here in the corner and sulk until you guess which.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #34  September 29,2009, 12:59pm
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jayjay wrote :
You're right....it doesn't preclude it. It just may be difficult to find an academic who balances their work with other aspects of their lives....as it's just so prevalent for academics to be under great pressure to produce a lot.
That's interesting. One factor that attracted me to academia was witnessing the amount of quality time my college professors and dissertation advisors spent with their children and families.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #35  September 29,2009, 1:09pm
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alex751 wrote :
That's interesting. One factor that attracted me to academia was witnessing the amount of quality time my college professors and dissertation advisors spent with their children and families.
Really? Were they in research intensive university graduate programs? Where I got my degree faculty pretty much had to have gotten several million dollars in grant money and many publications etc. to get tenure (within 6 years). Otherwise they were out of a job. These people had little family lives. But....that's not the route I want to take.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #36  September 29,2009, 1:19pm
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jayjay wrote :
Really? Were they in research intensive university graduate programs? Where I got my degree faculty pretty much had to have gotten several million dollars in grant money and many publications etc. to get tenure (within 6 years). Otherwise they were out of a job. These people had little family lives. But....that's not the route I want to take.
Obviously, they did this after they got tenure. I'm employed at a research intensive, and I've actually found that having robust support from research grants makes life more bearable. It enables me to buy out some coursework to make my life normal. It is hard work, but I enjoy it.
 
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shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #37  September 29,2009, 1:19pm
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jayjay wrote :
You're right....it doesn't preclude it. It just may be difficult to find an academic who balances their work with other aspects of their lives....as it's just so prevalent for academics to be under great pressure to produce a lot.
Yes, that is unfortunate. It's interesting because I have noticed with many of my friends in couples that one of the people can pursue a demanding career but not both.

I made a specific choice in the career path I am on to forgo some cash for a better quality of life and wouldn't be opposed to dating/marrying someone who was more career focused.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #38  September 29,2009, 1:22pm
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shoopthedoop wrote :
Yes, that is unfortunate. It's interesting because I have noticed with many of my friends in couples that one of the people can pursue a demanding career but not both.
Yeah....and the 'other' partner also has to be willing to make the sacrifices necessary for the 'career' partner to pursue their work.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #39  September 29,2009, 1:22pm
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Nice talking with you. I'm off to play some golf.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #40  September 29,2009, 1:25pm
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alex751 wrote :
Obviously, they did this after they got tenure. I'm employed at a research intensive, and I've actually found that having robust support from research grants makes life more bearable. It enables me to buy out some coursework to make my life normal. It is hard work, but I enjoy it.
So, for example, you don't regularly work on weekends and nights? I remember my advisor and other faculty would work practically nonstop from morning till night. Though...they would take occasional time off for some serious drinking.
 
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