Dating as a college professor?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #21  September 29,2009, 11:16am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

jayjay wrote :
I myself don't care about 'intellectual stimulation' in a relationship.
Whatever happened to Miss "Full Package" The one with the Brains and beauty, was interesting and vivacious etc? Did she put you off with her wit?
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #22  September 29,2009, 11:18am
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

jayjay wrote :
Yeah....um, some of us men are more 'open minded' than you about age criteria.
I admit that I typically like men around my age or older, BUT when setting up my matching criteria, there was a serious consideration for setting up my matching so that I would not be matched down to what I guessed to be the oldest students I encounter (easy enough to do since we don't have a PhD program, so there aren't any close to my age). It's only partially a question of being open-minded, much like I am more open-minded than other people on more superficial criteria like looks.

BTW, for men, my opinion of open-mindedness is really shown in how much OLDER he will date--not how much younger.
Last edited by MelinCali; September 29,2009 at 11:20am. Reason: added thought
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #23  September 29,2009, 11:21am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
Whatever happened to Miss "Full Package" The one with the Brains and beauty, was interesting and vivacious etc? Did she put you off with her wit?
There are actually qualities that make up the 'full package' that I recognize and have some appreciation for....but that aren't really that important to me. For example....how much money a woman has. A little earlier in the summer I met a beautiful woman who is somewhat wealthy. That too could be part of a 'full package'....at least in objective terms. 'Intellect' is kind of the same for me. It's nice and has some value...but in itself isn't all that important to me.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #24  September 29,2009, 11:23am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

MelinCali wrote :
BTW, for men, my opinion of open-mindedness is really shown in how much OLDER he will date--not how much younger.
FYI in the past I had a LTR with a woman who was 14 years older than me. At the present I'd like to have kids if possible....so younger is pretty much the direction I'm looking.
 
  Reply With Quote
librarybabe is offline librarybabe Post #25  September 29,2009, 11:35am
librarybabe's Avatar

is Mrs. Rix! At last!

Enthusiast

Joined: Mar 2009

living a dream in the Northwest

Posts: 677

See profile

jayjay wrote :
There are actually qualities that make up the 'full package' that I recognize and have some appreciation for....but that aren't really that important to me. For example....how much money a woman has. A little earlier in the summer I met a beautiful woman who is somewhat wealthy. That too could be part of a 'full package'....at least in objective terms. 'Intellect' is kind of the same for me. It's nice and has some value...but in itself isn't all that important to me.
That's great! Sounds like you figured out how to settle for the run-of-the-mill women you meet after all.
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #26  September 29,2009, 11:37am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

librarybabe wrote :
That's great! Sounds like you figured out how to settle for the run-of-the-mill women you meet after all.
I wish they were 'run of the mill'...in that I wish the kind of woman I like was easy to find. Don't you?
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #27  September 29,2009, 11:38am
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

jayjay wrote :
FYI in the past I had a LTR with a woman who was 14 years older than me. At the present I'd like to have kids if possible....so younger is pretty much the direction I'm looking.
Exactly what I was talking about! The reason for age consideration in not important--just that there is a targeted age range. It's not a completely open-minded consideration after all, huh?
 
  Reply With Quote
jayjay is offline jayjay Post #28  September 29,2009, 11:44am
jayjay's Avatar

...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

Sage

Joined: Jun 2008

Brownsville, TX

Posts: 10,932

See profile

MelinCali wrote :
Exactly what I was talking about! The reason for age consideration in not important--just that there is a targeted age range. It's not a completely open-minded consideration after all, huh?
I was really being sarcastic with my comment about men being 'open minded' by dating much younger women. You know...how men are always being told.... Oh, never mind.
 
  Reply With Quote
pamcam is offline pamcam Post #29  September 29,2009, 11:45am
pamcam's Avatar

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

El Paso, Texas

Posts: 641

See profile

My exhusband has a phd; he has followed both the university and industry path. He lived, breathed, and slept work and his career; it was the only thing he could ever commit to. While it takes much to earn such a degree, he never seemed to move on and progress from that stage. It's not much of a stretch for me to say that most of our so-called marriage and most unconscious partnership took place at and around his desk. While I've been told I am most rational and analytical, it's not how I prefer to relate to others today; my ex was really cut off from his emotions, and was incapable of verbal and emotional intimacy. His life had no balance and my only purpose was as the staff. We lived two very different and separate lives; not something I'm willing to do again. Since time has passed, he has admitted that the number of papers and patents he has are unimportant; it's just at the time for him they were the end all of being. So while the generalization is that professors have much time, it's been my experience that they choose not to make any, much give any to a relationship that takes time and nurturing if it's to grow and mature.
Last edited by pamcam; September 29,2009 at 11:48am.
 
  Reply With Quote
shoopthedoop is offline shoopthedoop Post #30  September 29,2009, 11:46am
shoopthedoop's Avatar

is happy with the way things are going!

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2009

Edmonton

Posts: 915

See profile

jayjay wrote :
I don't mean to imply this describes you personally, but I think a lot of academics have trouble with relationships because their careers are so important to them and they are so involved in their work. I know a number of academics whose entire lives are really their research, traveling to conferences and giving talks, etc. It's hard for me to imagine them ever retiring happily because they do almost nothing other than their work. Their marriages remind me more of business partnerships than of intimate couples.
I am tending to believe this is what happened with the professor I dated. The first bump in the road she hit she expressed troubles balancing her research, teaching and the relationship. Guess I I lost out in that balancing act.

jayjay wrote :
I don't set any type of educational criteria at all. Also, I myself don't care about 'intellectual stimulation' in a relationship. What I care about is emotional stimulation.... a woman who is capable of intimacy. A woman like this could just as likely be a receptionist or xxxx assistant.
Isn't it possible to have both? This was the first academic I dated, but does being an academic preclude the possibility of being intimate?
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« 1ST DATE A CHARM..SECOND WAY TOO INTENSE! | Dating | A thought occured to me yesterday... Question to ladies »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
dating and geography cp30 Dating 100 September 22,2010 5:28am
Dating Multiple Partners & Sex parakeetjordan Dating 69 April 2,2010 9:39pm
Full figured women-how to get more out of online dating outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 9 August 14,2009 3:05pm
Is There Something Dating Articles Aren't Telling Women? outlaw1 A Man's Point of view 22 August 12,2009 8:04am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Ingy - I'm not sure what you're reading, but I've consistently said he was totally my type. Yes, I have said he wasn't a looker, but I have also said I was relatively certain I would warm to him ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “My first "Matchmaker" date” discussion

“OP, do you have celiac disease? If not, I hate to burst your bubble but there's no health benefit to giving up gluten. Gluten is problematic only to people who have reactions to it, and you'd know ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “Living Without....” discussion

“ Most folks don't want to see matches that don't fit within their preferences. I know I didn't. That's why they set their preferences! ” –  FairOne

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“Yeah, this article was pretty disgusting. Not surprising how many women try to justify such tactics. The woman in the article clearly cares more about getting married than about who she marries. A ... ” –  jimmyh452

Join the “How to Get the Proposal You Want...Without Asking For It” discussion

“LOL....Yet another thread started by a "newbie" who is gone after one post just to rile up the community.....” –  Ingytravel

Join the “who pays?” discussion

“ I did try to follow a comic book series once. It was called Starfire and she had a costume change due to her outfit being caught on a nail. It was similar to something that people found ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Avengers” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:25pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0