satori_movement is offline satori_movement Post #1  September 28,2009, 4:11pm
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Two people meet and bond on a dating site. After a few text only conversations, phone numbers are exchanged. I (the dude) call the girl, a great conversation ensues, I ask for a date, she wants to get to know one another first.

Fair enough, I instigate another text based conversation, then a phone call, and then maybe another text conversation or two. She seems interested in all of our contact, is always very happy to talk, and we have wonderful little chats. At no point does she seem bored or disinterested, she is always there to keep the conversation moving and indeed does her fair share to keep things on point.

The last time we talked via phone was Saturday when I called her. Should I keep leading and calling her, or should I pause now and give her a chance to reciprocate?
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  September 28,2009, 4:31pm
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I expect reciprocation.

Some women like passivity. Thus, detente.

Happily, other women don't.

If you're comfortable always doing the calling, initiating, always, always, and more always ... then, go on (and on, etc.)

It doesn't really matter what someone else thinks, just what works for you. Call when you feel like it. If unreciprocated chasing gets old, then learn your lesson and look for a different kind of woman.
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #3  September 28,2009, 4:34pm

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It sounds like she might be new to online dating, given you've spoken on the phone and she was initially reluctant to meet you. It sounds like it's been a week of chatting on the phone. Why don't you try again to see if she's willing to meet up in person? If she balks again, then perhaps she's only interested in a phone buddy. Then, I suggest moving on.
 
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satori_movement is offline satori_movement Post #4  September 28,2009, 4:44pm
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D_Lion, good solid advice there. I am going to think about what you are saying. I don't think shes entirely like that, but she might be, and I am not willing to go down that road again.

Alex, she is new to online dating, and possibly dating in general. We have had a week of mostly phone/some textual conversation. Should I call her and ask her out again, or should I wait and see if she is willing to reciprocate and then ask her out when she calls?
 
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alex751 is offline alex751 Post #5  September 28,2009, 4:49pm

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satori_movement wrote :
Alex, she is new to online dating, and possibly dating in general. We have had a week of mostly phone/some textual conversation. Should I call her and ask her out again, or should I wait and see if she is willing to reciprocate and then ask her out when she calls?
Dating for the first time can be daunting, but online dating can be anxiety-inducing if it's truly her first attempt. If I were you, I'd cut her some slack for another week and then ask her out again. Be patient and giver her some time.
 
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satori_movement is offline satori_movement Post #6  September 28,2009, 5:01pm
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Yea, I've completely blown past chances with other women due to impatience, so I'm betting patience is the answer. I'll chill out, give her a chance to reciprocate, relax a bit and focus on other prospects, maybe throw out another friendly phone call or two, and then ask her out sometime next week.

Good solid advice, thanks dude.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #7  September 28,2009, 5:15pm
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I think at this point you should ask her out again, she's probably ready and wondering when it will happen. If she's still not ready, she'll let you know.

How long have the phone conversations been?
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #8  September 28,2009, 5:27pm
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I'd say to not make this girl a priority when she seems like she's making you a option.
 
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Aussiegirrl is offline Aussiegirrl Post #9  September 28,2009, 6:00pm
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satori_movement wrote :
Two people meet and bond on a dating site. After a few text only conversations, phone numbers are exchanged. I (the dude) call the girl, a great conversation ensues, I ask for a date, she wants to get to know one another first.

Fair enough, I instigate another text based conversation, then a phone call, and then maybe another text conversation or two. She seems interested in all of our contact, is always very happy to talk, and we have wonderful little chats. At no point does she seem bored or disinterested, she is always there to keep the conversation moving and indeed does her fair share to keep things on point.

The last time we talked via phone was Saturday when I called her. Should I keep leading and calling her, or should I pause now and give her a chance to reciprocate?
Do what feels right for you. Maybe try asking her out again. Or just ask her whether she feels she knows you well enough now to meet you in person.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  September 28,2009, 6:38pm
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alex751 wrote :
Dating for the first time can be daunting, but online dating can be anxiety-inducing if it's truly her first attempt. If I were you, I'd cut her some slack for another week and then ask her out again. Be patient and giver her some time.
Unless you are going on a first date with someone that you have know for a long time as a friend I can't see that online has anything to do with it.
 
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