strategory or spontaneous speak?


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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #41  September 25,2009, 4:07pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Now, what is your reasoning for this?

Um.... I think it speaks for itself. And it may be too traditional for your tastes. But its me.

I don't chase men....ever. Even tall attractive ones (thanks JayJay).

At least not after the first date
 
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Rubythorne is offline Rubythorne Post #42  September 25,2009, 4:11pm
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I agree with the person who said if he doesn't intend to see you soon, it was kind of mean to say "see you soon" like that.

It does kind of seem like a player move. Like one of the posters said, if he really wants to see someone he makes it clear and leaves no uncertainty. Players otoh often create uncertainty in the shell game to maneuver you into doing the chasing.

Thanking him for the date was fine, but I would wait and see if he calls you in a reasonable time frame. If he doesn't, then I wouldn't be sad about that. It will just show he is kind of mean and/or that you dodged a potential player. You are lucky to know that early on.
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #43  September 25,2009, 4:15pm
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cp30 wrote :
well, that is the other thing....

English is not his first language at all....

But he has been here in the south for almost 20 years.

He does sometimes end his emails with 'greetings' which is totally abnormal for us yankees too...
The more details I get...the more this crystal ball I have here goes on the fritz tonight....oh just have fun then. You're not new to this game and know how to take care of yourself To call or not to call...that is the question....I'm not a teenager....I'd like the man to call too. Trust me...no one waits by the phone anymore
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #44  September 25,2009, 4:17pm

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PR_Princess wrote :
The more details I get...the more this crystal ball I have here goes on the fritz tonight....oh just have fun then. You're not new to this game and know how to take care of yourself To call or not to call...that is the question....I'm not a teenager....I'd like the man to call too. Trust me...no one waits by the phone anymore
I don't even know where my phone is half the time!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #45  September 25,2009, 4:26pm
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cp30 wrote :
I don't chase men....ever.

Where did you get the idea that participation and reciprocity are "chasing?!"

He might - right now - be thinking, "how unbalanced will this become?"

I won't discount your right to chose for yourself, but I think women are better off being more involved.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #46  September 25,2009, 4:31pm

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D_Lion wrote :
Where did you get the idea that participation and reciprocity are "chasing?!"

He might - right now - be thinking, "how unbalanced will this become?"

I won't discount your right to chose for yourself, but I think women are better off being more involved.
Dlion. He chose a place 30 miles from my house, a place I had to go to straight from work so I had to get ready at my gym. He asked me out.

You have your frog panties in a bunch over some equation not being equal.

I already know how much effort I put in and apparently he does too, in a way as we were wrapping up dinner he mentioned the long drive I had ahead of me.

If he calls, I figure he will have a reason and an idea in mind already. If he calls and just asks me out but has no plan I might have one in mind already. I might be caught off guard and not. I dont know.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #47  September 25,2009, 4:40pm
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As a Texas woman I would say do NOT call. I would say 'take care' is the kiss of death but the spin around is very promising. If he is hispanic/Latin I would double the advice to not call.

The guy I am seeing right now supposedly sent me a text which I never got after we first met. As I did not repond for a few days, he called me and asked me out. I do not play games--he mentioned the text and I told him I did not get it but also mentioned I am not real big on texting. Either way--he liked the chase.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #48  September 25,2009, 4:45pm
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cp30 wrote :
So I had a first date last night. I know you have all been dying to hear about it

*Crickets*

okay, I know two of you have, and I've already talked to you. So I know you don't really care, but I can make a topic out of it.

It was great. He was interesting, funny, tall, attractive and introduced me to new crazy foods. He's actually really fascinating and made me wonder if he could do a little better than me....but the conversation was good and we have a lot in common and I forsee a lot of ways to connect and talk in the future, if we have one.

Here is the topic.

Mr. Perfect walks me to my car we stand there for a minute still talking and laughing. We hug and he says 'take care' I think to myself (KISS OF DEATH!!! HE SAID TAKE CARE!!) so I said you too, and proceeded to get into my car as he walked away.

About 5 seconds later he spins around and says 'see you soon?' and laughs

In my head I've already been through the 5 stages of greif. I'm over it. In my shock I only have time to say 'call me' as I was already stepping into my car and shutting the door. and I laughed...because something about the situation was funny to us both.

So is that some new smooth move the cool guys are practicing now? Or did it just occur to him to say that after he realized he sort of dismissed me?
I have just one question: is he wealthy?
*ducks for cover*

Seriously, it sounds like he felt the awkwardness of the first date ending, and was at a loss as to what to say. "Take Care" is a generic, I-can't-think-of-anything-else-nice-to-say comment. Then he self-corrected (points for that), laughed (more points) and said he hope to see you soon.

All in all, I'd say it was an unquestionable success. At least compared to some of the dates I've had this year.

Celebrate!
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #49  September 25,2009, 4:46pm

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tjlpd wrote :
As a Texas woman I would say do NOT call. I would say 'take care' is the kiss of death but the spin around is very promising. If he is hispanic/Latin I would double the advice to not call.

The guy I am seeing right now supposedly sent me a text which I never got after we first met. As I did not repond for a few days, he called me and asked me out. I do not play games--he mentioned the text and I told him I did not get it but also mentioned I am not real big on texting. Either way--he liked the chase.
I tend to agree...

I typically do send a short 'thanks' email. I always have. I don't know if its good bad or neutral. I guess it makes me feel like I can rest assured that I've done my part!

He is not hispanic though
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #50  September 25,2009, 4:52pm

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lacedwithhope wrote :
I have just one question: is he wealthy?
*ducks for cover*

Seriously, it sounds like he felt the awkwardness of the first date ending, and was at a loss as to what to say. "Take Care" is a generic, I-can't-think-of-anything-else-nice-to-say comment. Then he self-corrected (points for that), laughed (more points) and said he hope to see you soon.

All in all, I'd say it was an unquestionable success. At least compared to some of the dates I've had this year.

Celebrate!
lol. I'm afraid that might be so Laced. But normal people find ways to travel the globe too, and have ranches, and own businesses.

And thank you for your analysis.

I think sometimes we forget that wildly attractive and cultured people can be flustered and nervous too, or just not know what to say. I think this is possible.
 
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